It’s finally Friday, and most of the humans I know are all wound up because of work, politics, and the Covid 19 drama.
Cats don’t know anything about politics, but I think humans could learn a lot from their cats if they were only paying attention. I don’t mean to minimize the stress these poor two-legged creatures endure on a daily basis- these are trying times for humans and animals alike.
But from a cat’s point of view, I think right now the world needs things that bring people together again. Not things that divide, destroy, and add to everyone’s misery and anxiety.
In the middle of lawlessness, corruption, natural disasters, a worldwide pandemic, and empty store shelves, what makes anyone think that anything will ever get better if they keep blame-shifting and attacking each other?
The holidays are coming – and it’s time to stop the bickering, fighting, plotting, scheming and begin to reach out to heal and help each other. The corrupt will get more corrupt- and in spite of it, those who actually care for others need to show it.
Please look for a way to lift up someone who’s hurting- and give someone hope, show those around you that there is still love, kindness, and compassion in this world. Don’t be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.
Oh my gosh! My “Rearrange Everything” tactic worked better than I’d hoped!
I think I’ll keep the Can Opener.
My tactics are very effective.
After all, I took this human Can Opener from being completely clueless – (trust me)- to an expert in one lesson! After I finished typing my little paws off yesterday in the first lesson about Playtime being a ‘fundamental cat right’, I went outside to stir up some trouble, I mean, hunt mice, and when I came inside there was a brand new BOX waiting for me! And, it wasn’t just a big, empty box-
It was a brand new bag of my favorite Rachel Ray cat food!
Okay, Human. Past transgressions are (temporarily) forgiven. Just don’t let them happen again. That was the best part of my day- until the human started bringing out the ping-pong balls, and toy mice and the measuring tape and started playing with me. The kicker was, I didn’t do anything (this time) to make her!
She even played ball with me!
Then I messed up my fur and had to take a bath.
I still wanted to play after my bath- but it was naptime!
Do your humans manage to stay so “busy” that they never play with you? Do they force you to have to entertain yourself by attacking fake plants while they zone out in front of the tv for hours? Do they ignore you while you meow as pathetically as possible asking them to play with you? How should a self respecting cat respond? In this post, I’ll share some powerful tricks that will help you show those humans who’s really the boss!
Strategies of Purrsuasion
One of the most important things to remember, is that Humans really do think they’re the boss. This is partly because they pay for your house, your cozy blankies, your food, treats, toys, and vet care. This makes them feel better about not finding time to put their phones down, or turn off the tv, or put down their books long enough to entertain, cuddle, and spoil the most important creature in the house (the cat).
That’s why every now and then, you have to remind them that they didn’t choose you, you chose them (and you own them).
The first strategy of course, is to ask politely. If your human is a sensitive cat slave already, this will get his attention and awaken his desire to see you happily sprinting around the house, knocking things over and making messes that he or she will be delighted to clean up.
But sometimes humans can be downright DENSE. That’s when drastic measures are needed. One of my favorite ways to deal with this when I want playtime with my humans is what I call, Rearrange Everything.
Rearrange Everything simply means that in whatever room you happen to be in with your human, after having asked politely to play and finding they aren’t paying attention to you, You start working to get their attention in a less subtle way.
Examples:
If your human is in the kitchen when you’ve communicated you want to play, and you aren’t getting the desired response, jump on the kitchen counter and proceed from there into the kitchen window, where you may find all sorts of trinkets likely placed there for safe keeping as decoration. A smart cat, can simply “rearrange” them by nudging them with your nose, or your paw until they “accidentally” fall into the kitchen sink.
Here’s a demonstration of my employing this technique in the bathroom:
Find something on the counter (or wherever you can) to rearrange into the floor…
Select carefully for maximum response…
First, aim for the drain when possible…
The floor always works too- especially for breakables! Then, look shocked and RUN!
Most of the time that will alert them that you won’t be easily distracted. If that doesn’t get the intended result, carefully wind yourself around your humans’ feet repeatedly while they are busy in the kitchen, being sure to meow forcefully and relentlessly. This is especially effective in the middle of the morning breakfast rush, and particularly if there are kids in the house that they are trying to feed.
At this point, your human will likely do one of these three things – (either way, you win). Depending on whether or not the human is busy trying to get kids fed in a hurry, or whether they’re trying to “work from home” or cleaning, they will not be able to ignore you. They will either feed you to shut you up- (not play, but still a win)- or, they will open the door and put you outside (which is still a win), or, they will grab the first thing they can find and throw it into the other room in an attempt to get you to run into the other room. Then you’ve succeeded, because once they’ve thrown something to distract you, you of course, will bring it back and guess what? They’ll be playing with you!
We needed another flood. Strong winds were a nice touch.
Well, Thank you Mr. Weatherman.
I had awesome plans for today- But there was so much rain I expected to see Noah’s Ark come drifting down the street. So much for my exciting plans of mouse hunting, terrorizing the birds, and chasing Sheba all over the neighborhood. Pretty soon the rain got harder and became a constant downpour and the winds stirred up so I got to watch the pretty gold and red leaves swirling through the air like snow in a blizzard… Only I couldn’t catch them from inside the living room.
Sushi didn’t mind the rain at all- she decided to keep the Can Opener company as she did her online shopping, and she had a nice set-up…
The best part of waking up ISN’T Folgers in my cup-
Finally a little sunshine after days of freezing cold RAIN!
As soon asSushi detects life in the kitchen, she’ll finally get up off my front paws so I can move, (assuming I can still walk)- and then I’m heading outside to find some mice!
It’s been a while since I’ve treated the Can Opener to breakfast in bed!
She had a rough day yesterday, with the little tiny critter having her heart set on a tea party and then being able to paint with the Can Opener…
But after the washing machine poured water all over the kitchen floor, that ruined their plans, and after that there was no satisfying the little rascal since the Can Opener had Lake Eerie pay an unexpected visit in her kitchen and had to spend the next couple of hours undoing the damage while trying to keep the critter from jumping in the BIG PUDDLE! Mol! 😹
Uh oh … here comes the critter!!
I had decided to play it cool and stay out of the lake in the kitchen so I went to the nice leather desk chair to stay dry until somebody decided the world wasn’t really ending- but then the tiny critter remembered the chair SPINS!! 🙀
People assume that cats have nothing to say. They assume all that matters to us is catching mice and eating. And for the most part, they’re right. But let me clarify something. In this neighborhood, it isn’t me who is the mouse fanatic. It’s Twilight! That’s right. In Twilight’s mind, a mouse a day keeps the doctor away!
I think that’s disgusting- after all, mice carry diseases. Know what she says when I tell her that? “Oh Good! I’ll help them!” And she does! She carries them into whatever little corner she plans on taking them to. Speaking for myself, I think I’m a little more mature.
I go for more sophisticated things- like a nice, strong cup of coffee when the Can Opener isn’t looking, and the pleasures of immediately laying on her spot on the bed while she’s in the shower every night and then daring her to move me away. I also love to steal Twilight’s toys and then look devastatingly cute and innocent when the human questions about it.
There’s a lot more to learn about me – so for the next day or so, It’ll be all about cute little ME- so stick around.
No matter what is going on around us, we can always choose to be thankful.
(I’m thankful I wasn’t put down, and my Can Opener adores me. What about you)? – Sushi
Sometimes it looks like there’s nothing to be thankful for. But the truth is, that no matter how bad things feel or look, you are still ALIVE. There is still love, goodness and compassion in this world, even if you have to search diligently for it.
Do not give up on yourselves. Do not give up on your loved ones. And finally, cultivate an attitude of thankfulness and LAUGH!
When my older sister (Shrimp) was still with us, she had what she called Kat9 News.
Shrimp- Before the rainbowbridge. Still bossing me around!
Lately, my bratty sister has been sending me dreams from beyond the rainbow bridgedemanding, I mean, asking that I speak for her now that she’s gone to Heaven to harass everybody up there.
Now what do I do!?
She said she would rain fire and brimstone down on me, I mean, “really appreciate it,” if I could start being her bratty mouthpiece, I mean, News Rep, since she’s stuck in Heaven now and can’t be naughty anymore. Boy- I’ll bet that’s gotta be rough!
So, I’m talking with Sushi, and we’re going to start taking turns writing for Shrimp’s Kat9 news- (because fire and brimstone would totally mess up our naps)!
We’d like to hear from you our readers- what is important to you? (It doesn’t mean we’re going to report on it, but Shrimp is making us ask). So let’s do a poll, shall we? Tell us what you’d most like to see and we’ll do our best after we figure out how to manage our napping / eating schedules too!
Thinking of you … praying you aren’t in a cheeto coma or something … 😮
Can you speak to my can opener? Those pieces of turkey breast sound amazing.
I love treats too- fortunately the Can Opener has started giving me little pieces of (unseasoned) – cooked turkey breast…
Cricket here, I heard the word Temptation.. my all time favorite treat. That stray outside can have the Doritos, I…
Mol! I wish my Can Opener would buy those- but she won’t have them in the house because she “doesn’t…
Ever since Sushi was adopted, she has made it abundantly clear that SHE is the boss.
She dominates the Can Opener’s lap every time she sits down for more than 30 seconds, and even if the human wants to move her off her lap, she does so at her own risk.
I guess that since she spent so much time being unwanted before coming here, it must just feel amazing to finally feel settled, secure, and happy. But geez! She follows the human everywhere she goes- even into the neighbor’s house!
When she’s cooking in the kitchen, Sushi becomes a rug at her feet. When she types on her laptop, Sushi is the permanent desktop ornament -(unless she can actually lay on the keyboard).
When she knows the Can Opener is getting up at 4 am, every evening at exactly 8:00, she begins following the human around, winding around her feet, meowing persistently, and then sits outside the bathroom door to give the human that look that says, “get off the computer, shut everything down and get your shower!”
She will not move from that spot until the human is a good little girl, and does what “Mommy” says! Once she hears the shower, she goes to the bedroom and gets in her favorite spot on the bed- right in the center of the Can Opener’s spot!
And there she stays… if the human tries to move her, Sushi hisses and swats at her. When she finally does move (an inch or two)- she pounds the human in the back with her tail.
How to Train your Humans 
Thinking of you … praying you aren’t in a cheeto coma or something … 😮