Weekends are no flipping excuse.
The human knows I’m used to eating at exactly 4:30 am EVERY MORNING (when she has the tornadoes coming)- so she knows that on her days off, I’m STILL going to be STARVING at 4:30- at least, if humans are half as smart as they think they are, it should be a no-brainer. Well, this morning I sat at the foot of the bed at 4:00 am when her alarm DIDN’T go off, so I could show her how loyal I am, knowing she was supposed to be up.
Well, her response was to cover herself up and turn over. Nice. Not the response I was supposed to get. So, I decided to be generous and give her another 5 minutes. Same response. I did it again- and got no response at all. This time I waited a whole 15 minutes and then yelped as if it was the end of the world- all she did was say, “Sushi?” right before she fell asleep again.
By this time, I’ve lost a whole 2 ounces and I feel weak and dizzy and can barely have enough energy to scratch. Even the fleas are packing their bags.
So now, I’m really hungry and I mean business! It took all the self control I could muster up -(and I’m a tortie, so that’s not much)- but I decided to let her sleep again…. for 10 minutes. Then I let out a pleading yelp that should’ve made her think I was dying, and still she slept!
Finally at 7:30,….
One more desperate yelp, because I’m losing weight and failing fast, and the whole room is spinning and I can’t even hold on with my claws anymore because I’m so hungry I have no strength left…. and the back-up human comes in and lightly taps her arm and she instantly springs out of bed like a flipping geyser, wide awake and walks right out of the room headed for the Keurig. I couldn’t believe it. I’m 13 pounds lighter than I was at 4:00 this morning, and she walks right by me and gets her coffee before feeding me.
The nerve. *Sharpens claws*
She’s going to be hearing about this…