It’s just not fair!
The Can Opener slept in past 7:30 AGAIN today. I was not happy. I gave my very best, LOUDEST bugle call ever, and she still wouldn’t get up until 7:45! Meanwhile, my tummy was rumbling like a thunderstorm in a rainforest, and I just know I lost more weight. I think I even lost a few ounces in my paws this time- and that could be serious! What if my paw pads melt away before she wakes up and feeds me? Not only would I lose my absolutely darling pink paw pads, but I wouldn’t be able to walk! I’d have to just plop on my side and ROLL into the kitchen!
I mean, the Can Opener is sweet and everything, and she gives me lots of love, but you can’t live on love alone! You need Fancy Feast and whipped cream and treats and popcorn and shredded cheese too! And what happens when the Can Opener malfunctions? I can’t go on this way!
Of course, when she got up she told the Backup Can Opener that her tummy hurt- and he replied that he hadn’t slept all night- (he blames the surgery on his arm Saturday)- as if having your arm sliced open is an excuse for not feeding the poor underfed cat.
At least I finally got fed- a whole 10 minutes after the zombie finally got up- but by that time I was desperate enough to eat the first spider that came along- and that’s just plain gross!
Twilight says I’m being a selfish brat- I say, “Well, DUH! OF COURSE I AM! I’M A CAT!”
How to Train your Humans 
Spiders are rather tasty little crunchy treats but hardly substitute for a FULL BREAKFAST which is what we require in order to operate efficiently all day. I’m glad you finally got fed properly……humans have a litany of excuses as to why they feed their loyal companions LATE but I say “BALDERDASH” (whatever that is).
Hugs, Teddy
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Yes, spiders and other creepy-crawlies are nice snacks (but involve work to catch them)- but there’s no substitute for the real thing!
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You should do what Chris does and start meowing and scratching the door at 4:30. 🙂
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I March right onto the bed and yell at the top of my lungs- when the human gas the critters coming (usually Mon-Friday)- she’s up at 4:00- but this week the backup Can Opener had Surgery to fix a torn bicep- so the critters aren’t here, and the Can Opener has the NERVE to try to sleep till 7:30! I have to retrain this moron
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