The Can Opener says “NO WAY!”
I’m tired of trying to get the Whale (Miss Sassypants)- to play with me only to have her swat the holy fleas off me and pounce on me. That thing is a flipping boulder. I may as well have a dinosaur stomping on me. She gets all hissy and pounces on me, so I defend myself like any self respecting cat would, then she flies to the human and acts all wounded and pathetic. That’s it!
I WANT A CHICKEN! Not fried -(they’re no fun to play with)- I want one to chase! But boy, those things sure look silly. And they run fast, and since they only eat corn they won’t be after my fancy feast or whipped cream or treats. What’s more, they can fly (a few inches)- so that promises to be a lot of fun when I chase them. I think I want a rooster. Yep. That’s it. Why?
Because a rooster can chase Sushi away from my food, and he can’t crush me! I also won’t have any more trouble getting her out of bed on her days off.