The heat wave is gone. Now we need to have a catnip party.
I think my human thinks I’m not affected by catnip. It’s really a sad situation. She says she gave me some back when she first took me in and I sniffed it and walked away. But hey, I’d like to try it again. After all, I was just a little tiny thing when she first adopted me.
I’ve been hearing a lot about it from the two siamese brothers down the street. They keep saying I should have them sneak in for a box and nip party when the humans leave for the 4th.
But wouldn’t you know, she doesn’t want to leave Sushi and me alone while they go watch fireworks and celebrate.(Figures). That’s because Sushi is afraid of all the racket from the fireworks and anyway, she hates it when the humans leave. It brings back bad memories for her and she gets scared. Besides that, she just plain wants to make sure there’s someone here to open her cans of food. I’m not real good at opening cans either. But I know if they leave, they’ll be back. (It’s just my luck.)
Hey- I know a tabby down the street that can help us out!PERFECT! Tell him to bring boxes!BOXES!? We need nip too!*sigh* I give up. Let’s just plan the party.
I tried to explain to that rat how things go around here. I tried to warn him….
Unfortunately, he didn’t listen to me, and he is apparently not afraid of my human. He doesn’t know her very well. Now any rat in its right mind wouldn’t just boldly come strutting out and touring in the middle of the day.
This guy apparently isn’t in his right mind.
The human was having a nice, peaceful coffeebreak the other day, and suddenly this idiot rat decided to come out and look at her and say hello.
She had an answer for him right away- but it wasn’t a friendly hello. I don’t know if it thought she would offer it coffee and a doughnut, or what- but if it did, it was severely disappointed. Because all of a sudden the battle was on. Coffee sat forgotten on the couch, Sushi flew out of the room (at the pace of a snail)- and I saw that human move faster than a flipping comet, while the broom did things I didn’t know it was capable of.
And still that rat sat staring at her, as if to say, “Give it up, lady. You know you can’t catch me and your cat is too fat to catch me too.”
And the rat looked at me and snickered. He knows I don’t do rats. I do mice, bugs, birds and fish.
He is a nervy little moron. Well, I didn’t feel like taking him on, because I’m saving all my energy for duck hunting at the stream. But since he laughed at me, I told him- “Dude, your days are numbered. The exterminator is coming to get you on Wednesday.”
Then his expression changed- and he ran away. But I have a feeling he’s still around here someplace. And the human won’t rest until he’s history.
I thought today would be a perfect day to find my mama and go to the stream to play with some fish and hunt some ducks. But that was before I finally conned the Can Opener into letting me outside for a few minutes. I’m sure she thought I’d come back in if I got too hot, but I’m a cat, and that didn’t occur to me.
Luckily for me, the Can Opener was already planning not to let me stay out for more than a few minutes. For some reason, once I got outside, I didn’t feel like going as far as the stream. I just poured myself on the pavement under the car.
Then “something” (The Lord)- made my human decide to look out in the front yard and when she did she saw me, and I ran inside. Normally she doesn’t look for me in the front, because the minute I get outside I head to the stream. But it was hotter than I thought it would be when I pleaded with my mom in my most DESPERATE meows to go out. She knew it was hot, but didn’t realize how hot, until she opened her laptop and saw the temperature on her screen….108!
It felt so good to come back inside where the air conditioner was on. Sushi already had claimed my favorite spot next to the laptop, so I found the next coldest spot, and melted into the nice cold kitchen floor.
Ahhhhh… right under the air conditioner.
She looked like she had melted into the pillow. But it’s not hot in the house. And she doesn’t go outside to hunt all day like I do. She’s super-glued to the Human. She follows her like a shadow, and cries and goes hunting her down if she leaves or goes to the nieghbor’s house.
Of course, I tried to go right back outside after a few minutes, but Mom pretended she didn’t notice I was wanting out again -(but she did notice). That’s okay though, because I just decided to go settle in on the nice, cozy bed.
I’ll go hunting tonight!
Meanwhile, the Critters and their parents are at the beach….maybe they’ll bring some fish home for me, Sushi and Serafina and Abby!
But I do my best to outshine the rest! They say I strut around like royalty, and am quick to shout out a MEOWWWW! When they get within 10 inches of my tail. They say that when the Can Opener is getting ready to take her shower at night, I get in her spot on the bed, curl up right where she needs to lay her head, then growl and hiss when she comes to bed and tries to move me.
They’re absolutely right. I do these things and more. And I do it, because I’m a feline. That’s my job. In ancient Rome, we cats were considered sacred. In Egypt we were worshipped – and now they expect us to just get up and give them our favorite spots in the house?
Not going to happen. We love to be petted and adored, and to own the internet, but we never forget who we really are. We are royal felines- and we are entitled to the best spots on the bed, treats on demand, and to yell if we don’t want to be handled so our comfy spot can be taken away.
And, we’re going to speak our mind when we’re not happy about things. Even the lowly humans do that, so why shouldn’t we?
And humans don’t like to have their naps interrupted- neither do we. That’s why we lay on the phone. You can’t answer it if you can’t find it. And I wouldn’t recommend trying to pick up a cat while its sleeping on your phone.
Also- What does it matter Who made the mess? Human, clean it up. In Rome and Egypt, royal servants cleaned up after us. They still do. Just sayin.’
And yes, if I was left overnight at the Vet’s, my human wouldn’t be the only one to discover that isn’t smart.
Sorry, Mom. I’m canceling today. Turn on the air conditioner.
It’s just too hot today. And tomorrow is going to be even hotter. And did you know that white, sphynx, or cream colored cats like me can get sunburned? Crazy, right? I thought my human was a little nuts when I heard her tell her sister that- so I hopped on the laptop while she was in the shower last night, to investigate for myself and see if it’s true, or if it’s time to take her to the funny farm- (after finding a new Can Opener, that is).
Here’s some things I caught her watching….I decided maybe she’s not crazy after all, and I probably should pass it on. It’s going to be 104 here tomorrow- and it may be even hotter where you are….
Video links to help your furbabies stay cool & safe in the heat
Cats can also have something they call heat exhaustion / heat stroke and that’s really dangerous- so check it out so you can know what to watch for in your kitties- because if you know the danger signs you can get help and save their lives!
I hope she has these in the freezer to surprise us with tomorrow!
Sushi and I are going to stay inside today—- and guard the treats. Stay cool!
Well, that cup of coffee that wasn’t supposed to last long this morning, lasted longer than I expected. That wasn’t because I displayed my impressive switchblade collection (claws) and demanded the human wait for a refill, it was because she had unfinished business to take care of that had kept her up until 1:30 am last night in a flurry of activity -(Which is why I couldn’t get her to post for me last night- or until now).
You know how every house has things stored in various places, things that used to be frequently needed or used, but have long since been forgotten?
There are other places in every house where things are useful, and yet aren’t used regularly, so they just sit until they’ve been there longer than the stone age. Things like bottled water, extra storage bags, waffle irons used only occasionally, baking pans that are rarely used, etc. Well, the night before last, I was telling our Can Opener what to write for our post, and she heard a noise in the kitchen.
That normally wouldn’t have been a big deal, but the backup Can Opener was already asleep, Twilight was outside, and nobody was in the kitchen at 11:30. Nobody human, anyway.
So much for that Sleepytime tea….
The Can Opener had long since cleaned up the kitchen and was just having hot tea and doing my typing, so she had to investigate when she started hearing more suspicious noises. So, she followed the sounds into the kitchen and then heard a loud metallic CLANG from under the kitchen sink. I watched as she proceeded to open the cabinet under the sink, then suddenly jumped away! A RAT climed up onto the top of the washing machine and was looking very startled and unhappy.
Well, he wasn’t the only one. My human immediately did everything she could to get him out – but he was a lot faster than she is. So, she did the next best thing. She looked to see if I knew there was a rat on the washer, and I was watching and waiting for popcorn.(She never brought me any).
So then, she opened the door and called Twilight in (The Exterminator).
Who, being the highly effective cat she is, promptly ignored her and left for the stream behind the house. Good job, girl.
image courtesy of Clker-Free-Vector-Images/29565 (pixabay)
I think the rat was waiting for popcorn too. But he didn’t get it either. The human amused us both for hours going on a cleaning frenzy and was up half the night trying to get rid of the nocturnal nightmare. It didn’t work.
She threw out tons of food she had under the kitchen sink too – food she had recently bought because of sky-rocketing prices, (things we use regularly and run out of often). New, unopened food. Boxes of oats, (unopened) bags of chips, boxes of crackers, boxes of cereal (all new, and unopened). The little nightmare had even chewed the labels off a can of pumpkin that was under the counter.
Twilight eventually came moseying inside, and instantly stopped in front of the cabinet and sat there, sniffing, prowling- (for hours). Then decided she was ready to eat. Hello- there’s a RAT available….
Lucky for the human -(and the rat), he didn’t mess with the boxes of French Roast k-cups she had just put there- she’d be out for blood and hire a hit man to kill him.
Oh wait- she did.
Since Twilight only wants him for a toy, she called the other Exterminator. (the one she has to pay). Poor guy’s days are numbered. Hope he enjoys them while he can.
Good show, Mr.Rat. Pity we didn’t get the popcorn.
Wait- I just got settled on the Can Opener’s lap…
Story coming soon– (after my nap)….
I can’t let her post yet- she finally got her first cup of coffee, and I just got comfy. Stay tuned, because when she needs another cup of coffee, she’ll kick me off her lap and I’ll order her to the computer- I have my ways…
Don’t worry- that cup won’t last long. Just my luck.
Sushi and I have been wondering. Why on earth do people get dogs?
We can easily understand why people get cats- I mean, we’re awesome. We’re adorable, we eat anything on four legs or flies that bugs you, we’re warm and snuggly, we’re smart, and besides that we’re cute.
There goes one of those unfortunate tail waggers now. Poor thing.
We can even understand why they have pet hamsters, mice, rats, and rabbits. (Something for thier cats to amuse themselves with).
We can understand why they get pet birds too- (to punish their cats).
They get pet fish to tease us. And because they get some sick, perverted pleasure in watching us go nuts trying to figure a way to snag fish out of their aquarium.
But dogs? Oh. I get it. Something to warm their couches and beds for them and to chase away the mailman bringing all those bills and also to annoy their nieghbors.
Well, I guess that makes sense. Until you get a cat like Sheba that chases the dog away. Or a cat like Sushi to sit on them. Hmmmmm.
There’s got to be a better reason than that. I think I’ll sleep on it.
Sushi and I wanted to pop up and say we hope all you daddies out there had a great day today! Our Human has been busy today getting things done and spending time with The Backup Can Opener, but we’ll be back tomorrow!
The human took her coffee outside this morning and got a surprise!
A heavenly smile looking down on us this morning!
That’s so great, human. Let’s celebrate with some tuna!
I know I already ate. What does that have to do with anything?
This morning started out perfectly. The Can Opener finally slept well (since the TMJ started) – and took her coffee outside with me so we could listen to the chatter of the birds (even though she won’t let me catch one), and she could enjoy the pretty flowers and pick some raspberries, while I soaked up the sun.
It’s still early, and Twilight’s out someplace with her Mama. She’s trying to impress her Mama (cat) with her hunting abilities. The Human still has the annoying headache she’s had for three days now. But she’s starting to feel a little better- and I’m starting to put Sheba in her place, so she doesn’t harass me and swat at me like she does everyone else. I think it’s a good thing I’m bigger than her, because she knows I can flatten her if I have to.
Perfect.
What? I’m not messing with you….ever hear of social distancing?
How to Train your Humans 