I would protest, but that would involve moving.

I’m not happy with that human of mine. Yesterday, she had the day off from the critters, and I, being the faithful alarm clock, positioned myself at the head of the bed and meowed loudly to wake her up promptly at 4am.

She ignored me. She just mumbled something and went back to sleep. So once again, I alerted her (louder) that it was time to get up and feed me. She just turned the other way and went back to sleep again. Not cool. I did this every 15 minutes until I finally passed out from hunger and she finally got up at 8:00.

I wasn’t thrilled- neither was Twilight.

After the Can Opener finally woke up, I waited for her to bring me breakfast in bed – (HER bed). But she never did. A half hour later, I was still waiting at the end of the bed, listening as she got her coffee, said good morning to the back-up Can Opener- (which never works) – and I heard her brewing her second cup of coffee, and still I was starving. I passed the time by counting my ribs…(once I found them).

After I had counted my ribs at least 12 times, and had heard her open a can to feed Twilight, I was really getting miffed. I finally decided that although I was so weak I could barely move, I’d try to make it to the kitchen to remind the moron that I was still starving-

When I got there, she had already put food out for me but hadn’t called me, and she said, “I don’t do room service, Sushi- You have to get up and WALK!”

Boy, is she going to pay! All that work to drag myself off the bed, onto the floor and into the kitchen. Since when does royalty have to work for their food? I’m so insulted! I think I need to remind her who is Queen around here….(right after she gives me treats).

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