The Surprise at the Hospital

I’ve been stressed and I’m going to let Mom do this post. I don’t understand all that medical stuff.

“There’s no more Treatment”

In my last post (more than a week ago)- I wrote that my husband had finished the first chemo treatment. I discovered the next day when I went back to the hospital, that he had completed the first part of the first treatment. It took 3 days altogether for it to be done. I was thankful that they had finally allowed me to visit him, so during and after the chemo, I stayed with him and tried my best to get him to drink fluids and eat what he could.

He seemed to be doing well after the chemo – (except for having no appetite) – but he kept bleeding from his intestines and after about 5 different transfusions, it was clear that the bleeding wouldn’t stop and they didn’t want to do more transfusions (because of a blood shortage). That meant they also couldn’t give him blood thinners to get rid of the clot (still in) his leg, either.

On January 6, I came to see him and his countenance had completely changed. It was as if all hope of recovery had evaporated from him and the first thing he said to me was, “Call my sister.” I was surprised, because I had thought he had already told her about the cancer- so I took my phone to a quiet place to call her and had to let her know what was happening. Of course, she burst into tears, as I had known she would.

She asked if he was conscious and if he could talk, and I answered yes, and headed back to his room to hold the phone for him (on speaker phone), so they could talk. The chemo had somehow affected his eyes, so after the chemo he wasn’t able to see messages on his phone.

Right after I walked into the room with the phone on speaker still, a man appeared in the doorway, and asked if I was his wife. Then he simply said, “Here’s the thing. There’s no more treatment. We’ve done all we can do, and we are changing (him) to DNR (do not rescusitate). And we are sending him home for hospice care. He and I discussed this this morning and this is what he wants.”

I looked at my husband and knew He had wanted the Hospice Coordinator to tell me, and so it was. Within an hour, we were on our way back home in an ambulance.

And that began the last chapter of my husband’s life. I will write more tomorrow. It has taken me several days to get this far.

Thank you for bearing with me and for all your prayers and support. I love you all.

68 thoughts on “The Surprise at the Hospital

  1. Oh meow is me, your husband must have been a wonderful purrson, if God needed him to come home…. I think I know how horrible you feel because I’m still having trouble accepting the fact that God needed Saphera’s assistance, too. I was pawsitive that he’d recover, but I also know that God’s will must be done. Still purraying for you and your family.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Purrseidon! Heaven is a really huge place- Saphera must have been extra special as only the very best get to go to heaven. My hubby loved to worship, and I know that’s what he’s doing now. We miss him- but he is no longer in pain and is happier now than he could ever be while here on earth. I’m sure Saphera is happier now than ever before.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I’m staying very busy. Of course, with all the necessary stuff I have to do, there’s not much choice. But it does help. I’ll be posting in the morning. It’s been a long day and I’m in pain and need to go to bed. I’ll be back tomorrow!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t have words to say … I have sads. Thank you for being able to share this much and I’ll continue to keep you and your family and kitties in my prayers

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Deer Twilight an Sushi’s Meowy mee you did grate ritin this part of yore Huzband’ss story….
    Hee was a brave man…….
    BellaSita’ss 4th Huzband Mistur PAUL had a Dee-En-R order two….as much as shee not want him to ‘leeve’; shee did not want him to suffer anymore so shee agreed to it….
    POTP an ***paw kissess*** (from mee BellaDharma) an gentell {{{huggiess}}} from BellaSita Mum

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you my dear friend- I know exactly how she felt- it’s hard to make (and support)- that decision- but when you see your loved one in so much (continual) pain, you just want to see them get relief- I’m so sorry you lost him- but I rejoice with you that his suffering is over. Bless you dear One.


      1. Bellastia’ss Huzband Paul was a Quadriplegic an he had lived fore 12 yeerss toetallee paralyzed an inn a wheelchair….
        An he spent THE alst 2 yeerss of his life msotly onn bed an inn terribell pain…it WAS a blessin fore himt o go hoem to Sky Cat….

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you- they really are very supportive- and I value every single follower! Thank you for not giving up on me (Twilight/Sushi) Twilight and Sushi will (hopefully) post again soon- Twilight keeps giving me hints and walking across the keyboard.


  4. We are so sorry that things turned out this way. We went through a similar thing when my Mom had kidney cancer…except her urologist came in on Christmas Day with his teen-aged son to give her the news that her cancer was terminal.
    She had made her own DNR decision and we are glad your husband was able to do so too though that is cold comfort to you right now.
    We send you prayers and purrayers to you, your family and your kitties.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Mary- I’m so sorry to hear about your Mother- I can’t imagine what the urologist was thinking to bring his son with him while telling your Mom such awful news.

      It was hard knowing that there was nothing else they could do- but I’m grateful that I was able to have him at home and care for him myself and the hospital’s hospice team was wonderful. Having a 24 hour hospice hotline was a a relief and the emotional and spiritual support they gave-(not just me, but our whole family)- was a tremendous help.

      Thank you for your prayers!


    1. Thank you- prayer is my strength- I’m still trying to process. I’ve been running on “automatic pilot”- just trying to adjust and give my husband the best care possible- while also trying to stay strong for my kids and grandkids and take care of Twilight and Sushi, and notify everyone that needed notified when her passed. I spent yesterday and today going through my husbands clothes and things and dealing with the funeral home to make final arrangements. I am exhausted and numb- it’s been dizzying and no time to rest and process yet. I know it will hit me when i least expect it- so please keep those prayers coming. It has only been 9 days and it still feels surreal. Thank you for hanging in there with me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s really hard to comprehend how much your life changes until you live through it. Remember to take care of yourself and process things at your own speed. We all handle grief differently


  5. Deer Meowmy thanx fore yore kind werdss ’bout her hubby Paul. Shee met him AFTUR his accydent an fell in love….shee took care of him fore 9 monthss an then popped THE Questshun! Mistur Paul was furry shocked. They had all those yeerss twogether an BellaSita mew shee wuud have to agree with his last wish.
    Shee told mee hee was inn so much agony; lettin his Soul go free from his failing body was THE best act of Love an Kindness.
    Shee meowss to his foto dailee an shee still ❤ lovess ❤ him so-o much….
    So maybee Love DOES inn sum way conquer all thingss????
    **nose kissess** BellaDharma an {{huggiess}} BellaSita Mum

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Love really does conquer all things! The Can Opener keeps looking at pictures of her hubby in better days- and can’t bring herself to delete him from her contacts, and keeps watching previous polos he sent- that helps her a lot- the whole family is doing the same thing. Your human must’ve loved Paul SOOOOO much. Tell her he still feels her love.🌹💗


      1. Yore Can Opener Meowy shuud keep efurrything…it iss too soon to deelete stuff…cause when it is gone…it iss gone fore guud.
        An BellaSita Mum said to meow to youss’ Paul was/iss her Soul mate fur ever….
        Hee loved her alot two!
        Shee nickynamed him Beauty. And hee called her Chubby Butt….bet you thott Beest rite???
        Mew mew mew……

        Liked by 1 person

      2. MOL! Oh there are definitely things she is keeping. And some things are going to the grown critters and grandkids. He always called her Snow White -(because her hair has been white since she was in her 30’s. Naturally, that is.)


    1. That’s a wonderful way to remember him!

      Our human has a pair of battery operated candles that look just like the real thing- and she had them burning in the living room the whole time she was providing hospice care for him- so if he woke up in the dark he wouldn’t be confused and afraid-and so she could give him his morphine and other meds (and write down the amounts, times, etc) – without having to turn on the bright lights.

      She bought a bunch of batteries and she keeps one candle always burning in the living room- and one always on in the bedroom- to remember him- and because his spirit will live forever. And the one in the bedroom stays in the window that faces the street- so the neighbors won’t forget him, either.


  6. Iss a furry spirit-yule thing to due Meowmy….an it ill help you heal two so sayss BellaSita Mum!
    Shee allwayss putss on a diamond shaped battery oppyrated lite inn front of ‘angel’ Unkell Siddhartha’ss lovelee foto inn livin room nitely when shee an mee play toyss….
    It ackshully makess mee happy to see her due this for mee Unkell…..

    Liked by 1 person

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