It was all about comfort

cancer, cat blog, Nurse Twilight, The Can Opener, Twilight
Everyone worked together to keep him as comfortable as possible

Hospice provided a hospital bed

Within an hour of leaving the hospital, a Hospice Nurse arrived and provided everything we needed for his care- even sets of new sheets for the hospital bed- various other supplies, and of course, his meds. Everything was directed at keeping his pain under control, controlling anxiety, and keeping him as comfortable as he could be.

Our daughters and their families stayed over to make sure someone was always at his side, and to assist in his care and make the atmosphere as peaceful and restful as possible. They were an amazing support to me as well, as I was having a hard time finding time even to eat, sleep, or spend time with Sushi and Twilight.

I could tell that Twilight especially, was stressed and restless. Before the first blood clot happened, Twilight knew something was wrong with him and always stayed close to him. The kids helped with the kitties’ needs and provided food and took turns staying up at night at his bedside so I could sleep. It was hard to keep up with his med schedule, but it was the top priority since pain control was the top priority.

It wasn’t long before swallowing became too difficult and eating and drinking stopped. Soon after that, we found we couldn’t understand what he said when he tried to talk, and before long, he quit trying. We played music he liked, took turns reading the Bible to him and knowing he could still hear us, talking about happy memories. But this became harder to do as we saw him continue to deteriorate- and become unresponsive. Then we all started tuning in to his breathing without even realizing we were doing it.

After 8 days, the battle was too much for him and he passed peacefully with his whole family at his side.

There is a lot more to this story, but for now I’m stopping. We are just relieved to know that he is no longer in pain and is finally with the Lord- and I am so thankful for our kids and grandkids because they did everything they could to make sure that I had the help I needed, Twilight and Sushi were taken care of, and that he knew He was valued and loved and in good hands. They took turns staying with him after I gave him his meds, (and they took over doing his meds and recording them at night so I could sleep)- and they made sure I was taken care of as well.

Hospice was amazing and will be assisting our whole family for the next 13 months. A social worker, chaplain, and others are checking on me and the kids and keeping in touch by phone to make sure I’m okay, while at the same time offering free grief counseling for the entire family for the next year.

I honestly don’t know how I could have gotten through the last month without our family and hospice.

I am truly thankful for them all. Knowing also that I do not have my husband’s income anymore, they are also helping with keeping the kitties supplied so their needs are met. I cannot tell you how much of a relief it is.

Goodnight for now.

Left on my doorstep today by the Hospice team to make sure Twilight and Sushi have what they need.

What a huge blessing!

39 thoughts on “It was all about comfort”

    1. Thank you. It has been a whirlwind. And it still feels very surreal. But every morning I start with coffee and Jesus- before anything else. He gives me His perspective and strength I could not otherwise have. I’m so thankful for Him and His Word. The Lord bless and keep you dear friend.

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  4. Sorry…I just can’t hit the “like” button. 😢 Having encountered this all-too familiar scene with the passing of my mom last April, I know what you and the family have been going through. I’m so very sorry for the loss and how it affects the entire family. Bless those on-earth angels from Hospice. They will help you more than you can imagine over the coming months as a new normal begins to form. I hope all the wonderful memories you made together over the years can fill your grieving hearts with comfort now. Please know the Blogville community is here for you as well. 💔

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    1. Oh thank you so much! I’m so sorry you have had to go through this- but it’s comforting meeting someone else who has experienced something similar. I have been amazed at how much of a help and comfort the hospice team has been. It’s so encouraging to know that they will be helping me navigate the whole next year ahead. Bless you my friend. Peace and grace abound to you!

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  5. In your time of sadness you are such a blessing yourself …. and with sharing your story with people like me … who don’t even know you …. but I know you know the power of prayer and knowing that that’s what I can share with you is my prayers. ((hugs))

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    1. ((Hugs)) How sweet! Thank you so much! I cannot imagine how I would be able to function right now if I did not have the Holy Spirit to comfort, strengthen, and guide me right now. He helps me to set aside my feelings so I can get through the day and do what I have to do. He steadies me and comforts me. Thank you for your prayers- This is difficult for the whole family.

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  6. Dear furiends, we totally understand how crossing the rainbow bridge can be a relief – not to those of us left behind, but to the suffering soul trapped in a failing body. I wish there could have been a better outcome. Purrhaps one day we’ll all understand why some are chosen to leave and others are left behind.
    Purrseidon

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      1. Focus on the pawsitive and choose to be happy – I know it isn’t pawsible to be happy that he is now gone, but believe you’re happy that he is no longer being tormented by a mal-functioning human body, and his spirit is now free… this is what I focus on for Ms. Saphera.
        Purrseidon

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  9. As deeply sad as this was & is; you & your family have shoed pure love & care for each other. Each of you is an “Angel on Earth”. And your Hospice is really amazing also. I can say one of ours here is not & sent one of my dearest friend’s husband home with few supplies & very little back-up. It as not a good scene & my friend had to call 911 after only 2 weeks at home to have her hubby re-admitted.
    I am glad you all had each other & a good Hospice staff to help your husband leave this world in Peace!
    We send all our ❤ ❤ & {{{hugs}}} ***purrss*** an POTP for you & family
    BellaSita Mum (Sherri-Ellen) & BellaDharma

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    1. I could not have done this without the encouragement and professionalism of the Hospice team here. There was a free 24 hr. Nurse helpline especially dedicated for hospice questions/ answers and I used it frequently. There was always a nurse to advise me and support was constantly offered. A Chaplain came and prayed with us while he was still responsive -even though our own Pastors had come and prayed for him already…and they provided everything we needed – in fact, after he passed, I still have tons of supplies that I now can donate for someone else who may be caring for a sick relative.
      I’m so thankful that I was able to care for him myself from the moment we got home until he passed. Both of us had worked in the health care field before – so I was blessed to already have the knowledge of how to care for him and what to look out for- but it wa

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  11. I’ve heard hospice nurses say that dysfunctional families get even more so in a situation like this. It looks like a loving, supportive family becomes even more so, too. That says a lot about the family you and your husband shepherded through the world. I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine your world right now. Take care of yourself, knowing that he had what he needed in his final days. So much grace….

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    1. I can’t imagine what it must be like for a hospice patient to be surrounded at such a vulnerable time by a dysfunctional, arguing family. Our family has always been close- our children learned to live a life of honor and respect and to treat others the way they would want to be treated. We are so proud of them all- they are everything we always prayed they would be. We are truly blessed. Thank you for your kind words!

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  12. It is wonderful that you have the support of your family. For the first couple of weeks after my husband died, Snoops and Kommando didn’t leave my side. We were a fixture on the sofa. May you find peace in your family and God’s love. I’m so sorry you’re going through this

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    1. That’s pretty much what I do now, once all the calls are made, notifications done, family updates done, and deal with sleeping problems and pain. Twilight and Sushi stick to me like crazy and I love it. I need their unconditional love and cuddles now. Isn’t it wonderful that we have these comforting little furballs?

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  13. I am so sorry. The one thing I am glad of, is that you were and are together as a family. You are strengthening each other and that is a gift. When my husband died, my dog Bella was nearly glued to me. She is still my support and wants to be close and its been almost five years.

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    1. That’s how Twilight has been- she has been constantly trying to make me play and called her vet because since he died, She has been restless. She was sitting on top of my desk in the living room just a couple of feet away from the hospital bed when her passed. Thankfully hospice has a program to help care for the animals of hospice patients and their families- and they provided some homeopathic calming drops to go in Twilight’s food – and they work! She is back to herself with just 5 drops in her food!

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