Monthly Archives: August 2022

How to Train Your Humans

Later, Sushi- I have a lesson to do.

Help them Catify!

I haven’t posted a lesson for you would-be respectable cats for a while, because I’ve had my paws full around here with the critters, Sushi, and the would-be feline home invader, Smokey.

But he got me thinking… of course, if he is lost, or was left behind by a family who moved out, he needs a home, and cuddles, and food- and of course, flea treatment (for the love of Ceiling Cat, PLEASE)!

But whether a cat moves in to a home by manipulation (Smokey is good at that)- or by invitation, a respectable cat still needs to know how to train his “owners.”

Now, Smokey hasn’t been adopted (but he sure is trying)- because the Can Opener has her paws full already -(and the whole neighborhood loves him and wants him).

But for you cats who are adopted, here are a few pointers you help you train your “owners” to your specifications.

For one, help them “Catify” the house to your liking….

Claim the computer- so you can sell the other pets on ebay and make sure they’re not looking at videos of other cats.
Once you snuggle up on a lap, don’t let them get up.
Make sure they take you surfing on demand. Cats need entertainment too.
Don’t let them back-talk you.

And make sure you tell them how to fix your castle to your liking…

Make your design choices clear to the Resident in charge. Otherwise, catification won’t happen.

Twilight’s Tips for Humans

You make me feel safe, Mom. You were always my favorite!

The Can Opener is my favorite human.

I love our human. At first I was upset and didn’t want to share her with Sushi. But Sushi was so relieved and happy when she joined our family, that I started to warm up to her a little. She wasn’t trying to steal my Can Opener’s affection, she just needed to feel secure and loved. She had been ignored and neglected for a long time by her previous “owner” and her feelings were hurt. But soon after coming here, she started to feel calmer and she loves our human. So do I.

When the Backup Can Opener was still here, he used to complain because both Sushi and I followed Mom everywhere, and we love to play with her and settle in on her lap every chance we get – and he could never understand why we didn’t treat him the same way – (even though we loved him too).

Let’s play a little longer, Mom- Sushi won’t mind!

There were some basic differences, though. While we loved him too, we just felt more special with the Can Opener. After all, she always talks softly to us, and she grooms us, and gives us back scratches, and treats – and plays with us- and she was always the one who fed us and took us to the vet. He would pet us sometimes, but not really interact with us. So, of course, we bonded more with our Can Opener.

Mom says this is something that a lot of cat “parents” experience. She understands us kitties a lot more than he did- because he didn’t have kitties growing up, so he didn’t really understand us. And he tried to relate to us the same way he used to relate to his dogs.

That doesn’t work for cats. So, we looked up this video to help humans understand that we cats – well, we’re not dogs. So in case some of you humans wonder why your cats seem to have a favorite person (and it’s not you)- this may help you understand us felines a little better. We always love all the humans in our house- but some humans are a little irritating (noisy)- or, they don’t respect our need for peace when we want to be left alone…

Or some may even remind us of someone who hurt us or was mean to us before. Nothing personal, but memories are memories, after all. And even humans have automatic responses to unpleasant memories.

So grab some popcorn and watch and learn why some kitties respond the way they do.


Now be a good little human and watch the video!

Morning Coffee with Sushi

LET ME AT HIM, MOM!

WHAT IS HE DOING IN MY HOUSE?!

A couple of mornings ago, The Can Opener sat down in the living room rug to play with Twilight – (Twilight loves to hide under big pieces of paper and attack the toys the human teases her with)- and when she was done playing, she went outside while the Can Opener made a fresh cup of coffee, then sat down and put me on her lap to brush me.

It was heavenly. I was purring as she brushed me, talked to me and rubbed my ears – then I smelled something that alerted me (and the human) that something wasn’t right- we both looked up and there was THAT!

A strange cat had just cruised right in the backdoor and helped himself to Twilight’s paper roll and started making himself right at home!

Hey- word on the street is, You’ve got great cat food here. How about a sample? And thanks for the toys!

I think I scared Mom when I reacted to him, because I made my hot displeasure known- not only because an intruder had invaded my castle, but because on account of that THING, Mom picked me up and moved me off her lap to go deal with him! NOT FAIR.

He looked at me as if to say, “deal with it, sweetheart- I’m not going anywhere.”

Mom went to him to chase him out of the house, and noticed he didn’t have a collar on- and he came right to her immediately, plopped down at her feet and rolled over, wanting to be petted. She realized then, that this was clearly not a feral cat- they will always run away and definitely don’t want to be handled by a stranger.

He also is very healthy- but, she noticed a wound under his “armpit”- a small wound, but it was definitely open. As if someone (or something) had sliced him – (about a 1/2 inch long). He also was covered with burs (meaning he most likely had been hanging out on the bikepath / stream behind our house). He was starving – and it was really hot outside (100 degrees). He seemed relieved to find a cool spot and a dish of cool water.

She said she knows the neighbors and their pets around here – but he doesn’t belong to any of them – but a lot of people have moved out (or been evicted)- recently – and since he doesn’t behave like a feral cat, and is begging for love (as well as food) everytime he comes around, she says she thinks someone moved out and left him behind.

So being that she saw a wound on him and that he was covered with burs all over the place, she put a blanket in the carpet and got the kitty kit out, and decided to try and clean his wound and remove the burs and see if she could help him. Thanks a lot, Mom. Wait til I tell Twilight!

After all she did to take care of him she started looking to find an owner- no one seems to know anything about him. But he won’t stay away. When she put him outside after tending to his needs, he growled- and turned around before she could shut the door and came back in! He refuses to leave!

And (of course) the Critters (and everyone else) love him.

So the Can Opener is planning to take him to the vet as soon as she can to get him checked and see if he has a chip so If he’s lost, he can be returned to his owners. And if not, she wants to get him fixed – (but he doesn’t look broken to us). Our fear is that after all that, she may find out he’s not chipped and keep him! But, the Critters’ parents just may adopt him- because he’s “SOOOOOO CUTE AND LOVEABLE!- AND, He’s a Russian Blue!”

Oh yay.

Until then, it looks like we’re stuck with “Mr. Smokey!” *tail flap*