
Just Thinking…
I’m sitting on my couch with the best cat in the world cuddled up warm and cozy with her head on my knee as I write this. And I can’t help but consider for a moment how life would be today if we had to stumble through every trial with no comfort or encouragement whatsoever.
With no friends, no warm hug when we’re feeling down, no smiles from passersby- no squirrels playing in the trees, or baby ducks in streams, no children playing outside- no one to care if we’re struggling, or in pain- or even dying. Life has always had it’s trials- but none more than the year 2020- 2022.
This year began for me with the loss of my husband of 40 years to a sudden stage 4 cancer diagnosis. I’m still struggling with the reality of it. A couple of nights ago I had a dream that I’m still trying to get out of my head- the first of it’s kind up until now.
In the dream, I was sitting on the carpet in the living room with two of our grand-daughters having a “tea party” with oreos, and goldfish crackers and playing a game. Then, my husband walked in the front door (looking normal and as he did before)- and looked down at me with his left hand on his right shoulder as if it was bothering him.
He said with a pleasant smile, “I know you’re busy, but…” And before he could finish the sentence, his face changed in front of me- to the way it looked seconds after he died. Ashen, with lifeless eyes. I remember the shock, and in the dream, I said- “but you’re dead!”
I woke up wondering why I had such a dream, and I still struggle to forget it.
As I remember this now, Sushi is snuggled sweetly next to me, purring and it’s so comforting. I’m thankful that I have her and Twilight to brighten my days, and the love of my family and friends. Thankful that I woke up this morning with my mental and physical abilities intact and that God has beautifully sustained me and provided for my needs. He has kept me from losing heart and falling into despair and lonlieness.
I’m aware that so many are also struggling with loss (still) or maybe will soon. And if not the loss of a loved one, or a beloved pet, just the constant anxiety of isolation, or fear for our future is more than most can bear.

I try when I post to make it lighthearted because our world is engulfed in sorrows and anger (insanity!) – and some are doing their best to pit us all against each other- and against our Savior. But I’m tired of ignoring the ‘elephant in the room.’
I have to let you all know -(whether you recieve it or not- which is of course, your choice)- that the same God and Savior who created our pets that bring us comfort, joy and laughter- and who sends rain on the just and the unjust, provides us sunshine every morning, and rest at night- is still alive and well and reaching out to all who are hurting, grieving, and afraid. He is not the one causing all this misery. He gave mankind authority over the world- and what we are seeing is not the work of God- but of evil people who think they are God.
Take heart people of God- Know that He holds you in His hand and no-one can snatch you out of His hand. Guard your hearts. Forgive those who hurt you so that You Heavenly Father can forgive you. If you feel like the hurt is so deep, you can’t forgive- ASK the Holy Spirit to empower you, and believe me, He will. He delights in those who love Him. And He will see you safely through. Hold fast your confession of faith. He is Faithful!
And to all who follow this blog- Thank you for not giving up in my absences. I love every one of you – believers, or not. And I pray for you all to prosper in the middle of it all. If you have a prayer request, Please let me know in the comment section.
💚☕❤️
It sounds like a visit from your departed husband. He wants to comfort you, but doesn’t quite know how from where he is now. Enjoy the beginning of the dream, and realize that someone’s logical mind (your or his) remembered that he was actually gone, and visiting only in a dream, and so the end scene. These kinds of dreams are often a comfort among those who have lost someone. It doesn’t have to be scary, just nice to know they wanted to see you. I have recently had such dreams from my departed father and a departed dog I loved dearly. I cherish their dream visits.
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Thank you!! That’s such a comfort!!
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Beautifully said. Grief is universal, but processing it is different for each of us
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Thank you so much! I so appreciate your kind words!
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Wow Mrs Cee-O that was definitely a ‘visit’ from your hubby to say “Hello”. Please do not be afraid. Remember him as he was with love. I am sure he will come to you again….And hopefully not upset you!
I have beautiful dreams of hubby Paul: he rolls up to me in ‘Jake’ his electric wheelchair & then stands up to hug me! Paul was a C3-C4 Quadriplegic. It always makes me laugh in the dreams when he uses the chair & THEN stands up to stand right in front of me.
As I read your most amazing & touching post I looked out the patio doors & there on my lawn were 2 large crows…
In my belief they are the spirits if Paul & my Brother Dale who were inseperable.
Thru my Native beliefs I can SEE Creator & his works….
Thank you for your comforting words about Albert; now his Father albert Senior ahs joined his son. Albert Sr was 85 & had Cancer & I feel the news of Albert’s passing did the poor man in.
Albert Sr’s funeral is Tuesday however it is an hour drive away & I have no way to et there.
I pray Albert Sr & Albert Jr & Grandma Alice are reunited in Peace.
❤ ❤ & {{hugs}} Sherri-Ellen ( BellaSita Mum)
an ***purrss*** BellaDharma
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Thank you dear friend- How sweet it must be for them to be together again! I know Cancer so weakens a person- that I do believe something like the death of a loved one can push them over the edge. Don’t worry if you can’t make it to the funeral. I’m sure they know you aren’t able to get there- but you will definitely be there in spirit. 💚
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Sadly I was not close to albert Jr’s Siblings so I am unsure if they would really remember me.
I WILL be there in Spirit saying my “Goodbyes” to Albert’s Jr & Sr. ❤ ❤
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Well that’s alright- it doesn’t cancel your kindness to Albert- you will be rewarded and remembered for all you did for Him and his little girl!
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Beautiful post. I am so sorry that you lost your husband in such an awful way ( not that there is a good way). Losing my sister and 2 cats within a 6 month period has left me very sad, but I also try to keep things light on my blog. Sometimes we need to feel the pain and work through it though instead of ignoring it. XO
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I’m so sorry for your loss! My heart goes out to you! But you are right- we do have to feel the pain before we can work through it. Just know you are not alone!💚
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