Merry Christmas!

Twilight helping me wrap gifts

Update From the Can Opener

The last time I posted, I had hardly published what I had written when my sister called again, crying, and saying -“it’s happening again!” I dropped everything and went to her house immediately, and this time I knew it wasn’t going to just pass on its own.

I had been taking care of her when these things happened, but this time I could see how hard her heart was pounding from the front door. I pulled up the heart monitor on her Apple watch and knew we needed to call 9-1-1.

Within minutes this was confirmed as EMTs loaded her into the ambulance and whisked her off to the hospital. I plunged into action, to take care of the mess left behind in the house, and to take care of Sheba and Smokey until she got home from the hospital.

That didn’t happen until a week later, and things looked scary. The doctors had said she’d had a massive heart attack and had got there just in time.

It has always hurt me to see how painful and afraid she was, so I spent a lot of time praying for her healing and safe return. I’m so relieved that now, over a month later, she is doing better than she was before those sudden attacks started happening. It turns out those “attacks” weren’t from a pinched nerve, or stress and anxiety- they were mini heart attacks!

Because of being sent back and forth and languishing so long in the ER waiting for care the first two times she went, she had decided she wasn’t going to bother going to ER again. She was just going to ‘wait them out.’

Every time she’d had an attack, I’d known this was a possibility- but the doctors were saying otherwise, and she is not able to just sit in a chair in a waiting room for over 8 hours (to only end up going home in tears from pain with no diagnosis). Every time this happened I would ask the Lord to give me wisdom for each situation and to protect and preserve her until she got a correct diagnosis. I’m so thankful He did.

While she was in the hospital, I was looking after her house and taking care of Sheba and Smokey, and the realization hit me that this Christmas was going to be my first since my husband passed and that I could have very easily lost my sister and best friend if she had decided to ‘wait out’ this attack also.

With also watching my grand-daughters, helping them with school, and the usual responsibilities, my blog had to fall by the wayside because I simply felt too overwhelmed with everything else. There were times I sat down at the computer to begin a post, but my brain refused to co-operate. I simply couldn’t think of where to start- being so preoccupied with everything else that my mind just got stuck.

It took me weeks to realize when I finally went to the Lord and asked Him “What’s wrong with me!?” and He showed me, that I hadn’t been taking care of my own needs. Still grieving the sudden loss of my husband last January, it occurred to me that I had neglected calling my grief counselor, I hadn’t gone to church (because of the pain of the IT band issue)- I hadn’t been getting enough sleep, I hadn’t taken time for the things that I enjoy because I felt I couldn’t afford to take the time, and I had neglected my normal workouts for the same reason (which didn’t help my IT band issue).

Without realizing it I was experiencing a sort of “Brain fog” that happens sometimes in grief. I learned this by emailing my grief counselor who informed me of ways that grief changes your brain. Thank God these changes are reversible.

This Christmas and all the activities surrounding the festivities became a lot easier for me once I realized after praying what was happening to me.

I’ve learned to give the grief and the things it brings with it to the Lord and to take the time I need to heal. He tenderly and beautifully healed and protected my sister who is now doing better than ever before and is doing all she can to protect her health- He also beautifully and tenderly keeps and guides me and I’m grateful for all He’s done. Instead of focusing on who has been lost, This Christmas is about all that has been saved.

Merry Christmas Everyone! Twilight and Sushi will be back tomorrow!



24 thoughts on “Merry Christmas!

  1. My dear, you have been through WAY too much…I am so glad your sister finally got the care and help she needed, and phooey on the peeps who poo-pooed her. Yikes. God had His Hands on both of you, protecting and guiding you along that bumpy road. And He led you out to the calm. Ps23…talks about that, as do many other Psalms.
    I am glad that you, too are learning that you can’t be a good help to others unless you take care of yourself!

    May you and your family have a blessed Christmas. Glory To God!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am sorry for your sister’s heart attack and at the same time so happy she is now well recovering. And I am so happy you are well, too 😊♥️
    Be safe, calm and appreciate a new flow in your life!
    Wishing you and your family and all the furry gang a wonderful, serene, bright and joyful Christmas ✨💖🎄
    Superpawkisses 🤗
    Sid

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Merry Christmas and remember that sorrow may sneak up. Go with it and remember the good things. So happy your sister is doing well. Will pray that He keeps a close eye on this set of “sparrows”.
    So, Meowy Christmas from Maggie May, Suki and I in cold Illinois

    Liked by 1 person

  4. What a thoughtful post! I pray so many blessings to you – I’m glad you are feeling better about things and will look forward to hearing about your journey to self care. I’m not so good on the words but when God reads my heart he knows what I’m praying. Merry Christmas!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Merry Christmas to you too my friend- and did you know?

      Psalm 139 says He knows your thoughts from afar, and that He knows what you’re going to say even before you say it (verses 2,4)- it’s the heart that matters to Him- not the eloquence! He delights in the prayers of His people!

      He hears even the faintest prayer of all who love Him! ❤️🎄

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      1. Thank you – yes I know in my heart but must remind my head sometimes. I’m not known for my words or eloquence but I know He loves me just the way I am! 💗

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Deer Missus Cee-O wee are happy to heer from you!! Wee so furry sorry what happened to yore Sistur.
    BellaSita can reelate. Shee reefsuess to o to EMERG beecause THE wait time iss 8-10 hourss…fore peepell with heart issuess?
    Wee are sorry you went thru REEF Brain Fog…BellaSita Mum sayss it iss a furry weerd feelin; like beein underwater an tryin to lissen butt heerin bubbless an disstortion…..
    Shee meowed you wuud understand! (Mee hopess so!)
    Twilight an Sushi thanx fore lettin yore Meowmy take care of Sheba an Smokey!!!
    Wee wish all fo youss’ a safe an HAPPY Catmass…..
    ***purrss*** an **nose kissess** BellaDharma an {{{hugss}}} BellaSita Mum

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh it’s so GOOD to be back! Yes- “grief brain” is no fun at all- I’m so thankful there are things that help you to work out of it. Unfortunately so many people are struggling through it on their own because not everyone can get grief counseling- (my sister couldn’t either until her heart attack- then when the doctors learned she had recently lost her brother they set her up with grief counseling)- I think I will be doing a separate post sometime with helpful links and information for others who are grieving. Tell Bella Sita Mum I do understand- and I hope you all had a great Christmas!

      Twilight and Sushi will be posting today- but I just woke up and right now they’re lecturing me about being gone all day yesterday!

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    1. I’m sorry to hear that- but I’m grateful she finally got an answer- now she is on a heart healthy diet, has started exercising and is feeling better than ever! Praying for you- no more heart attacks and complete healing!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I am so sorry you had to go through this ! When my Mom was dying of cancer (35 years ago in the hospital) the nurses continually reminded me to take care of myself too. The deeper you get into being the caretaker – and the more you are the main (or sole) caretaker the more you need to be reminded of this – and not feel guilty about it ! Prayers (and purrayers) that your sister heals and thatyou both are able to find peace coming days.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I am glad your sister is OK. I am glad you have your grandkids to keep you busy. I find my great-nieces a wonderful distraction from the loss of my sister a few months ago. Sending you hugs on this difficult first Christmas. XO

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh I’m so sorry to hear you lost your sister! Yes children help a lot- please let me know if there’s any way I can help! I will be posting today-(but i just woke up)- it was a late night!! 💚🎄

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