Hi! I'm Twilight!
Champion Mouser, purrsonal (human) trainer, hypnotist, and sleep therapist. My new sister, Sushi and I are always up to no good, but we have a lot of fun. Join us for all things cat! We will soon be starting lessons for you cats to
teach you how to master the humans around you and have them wrapped around your little paws!
View all posts by Twilight & Sushi →
Sitting under my favorite bush so I can bask in the warm sunlight this morning while my Can Opener had her coffee and devotion. The morning is my favorite time of the day- because its quiet and the sun is just warm enough to feel good without being too hot, and the neighborhood is still peaceful. But then,…
She sure is a fussy thing. All I did was try to play. Geez! I think I’ll go look for someone else to play with!
In the evenings when it finally starts to cool off, I love to go outside and lay on the nice, warm sidewalk to enjoy the peace and quiet. Finally the critters have gone home, and the neighborhood screaming machines have been forced to go inside for the night and go to bed.
The neighbors with their loud grass eating machines and annoying sprinklers have finally gone inside and tv’s can be heard through the open windows. I can smell the mint and roses the human has all over the place, and there’s a big, fat strawberry on her plant that I plan to snatch the first chance I get.
Twilight rolls around on the sidewalk so her boyfriends know she’s outside, Sheba starts the mouse hunt, and I lounge and let the heat on the sidewalk make me sleepy. And suddenly-
That flipping human of ours decides to water the grass, and tomatoes and daisies, and everything else inthe yard- including ME!
If looks could kill, the Human would be a shriveled up piece of toast melting on the sidewalk. But I’m not that lucky. Twilight and Sheba were inspecting the lilac tree for possible mouse activity and they saw it coming and scattered. Again, I wasn’t that lucky.
Then I looked over my shoulder dripping wet, and Twilight and Sheba were snickering behind the bushes. Boy, are they gonna pay! I was too busy drying myself off to deal with the Human and those two mouse-hunters, but believe me, I will deal with them.
For now, I’m planning a special ‘surprise’ for the human in the morning- to pay her back for surprising me. For now, I’m getting some much needed rest after my cold shower.
I really don’t like this Paparazzi stuff first thing in the morning, Human.
You’re snapping pictures of me while I’m trying to sleep on your lap. You know that’s a bit of a distraction, right? How about if you just look for some other cats on your phone and let me sleep, alright? You have hundreds of pictures of me anyway, for pete’s sake! I mean, between that and you getting up to refill your coffee, how the heck do you expect me to go to sleep? What is it about that coffee that is so irrestiable to you anyway?
Okay, well that’s a start- are you settled now? I’m going to sleep- no more pictures, ok?
Today is warm and sunny and beautiful. Yesterday was too. But I wasn’t able to enjoy it. It seemed like all of creation set out to ruin my otherwise perfect day. It started the night before last when the Can Opener groomed me and cleaned my eyes and fed me and later tucked me into bed. Sounds great, right? Well it was. Until I got sick- seconds before she was getting into bed herself.
I know people think we cats don’t care if we make a mess for our humans to clean up, (actually some cats really don’t care)- but I’m not one of those. My human babies me and takes care of me (and just about everybody else) – and she’s always so tired when it’s bedtime. So it really didn’t set well with me that I got sick.
She didn’t get upset at me- she just took care of it like she always does, and then she comforted me and gave me snuggles so I wouldn’t feel bad. But somehow that made me feel worse.
So for the rest of the night I didn’t feel good. When everyone woke up yesterday morning, I still didn’t feel good and refused my favorite food when she gave it to me. I knew she felt bad for me but I couldn’t help it. Then the critters arrived, and she spent the whole day taking care of them, and her garden, and making dinner and doing laundry- and she even tried to play with me but I wasn’t up to it.
Then, when the critters finally went home yesterday, and I felt better, I wanted to go outside and lay in the sun. But the neighbors next door had a bbq, and every critter from here to New York was running around in MY YARD! And, as if that wasn’t bad enough, the other neighbors had all their sprinklers turned on so there was no nice, quiet, place for me to lay in the sun. Even Twilight ran inside and fell asleep in her box under the bed!
By the time things quieted down outside, and the sprinklers were turned off, it was time to go to bed again. And the human was too tired to play.
I hope today goes better – but it feels like a Grumpy Cat kind of day to me.
Our human has been researching Siamese kitties. She is so in love with my (adorable) breed that she wants to do some posts about us, because we’re so smart and active, and talkative and entertaining she thinks everyone should have at least one siamese kitty.
When Sushi heard about this, she got jealous. “What’s wrong with me?” she asked. Well, nothing- but you’re not siamese. “I can be if I want to!” she said. Hmmmm. How does that work?
I tried to explain it all to her and she listened for a few minutes but then it was thundering and she ran away -(as fast as a boulder can run, that is). So I went to see where she was “running” to, and discovered it was only her food dish.
Yep. Her tummy growled and I thought it was thunder. My bad.
So, since today is Tuesday (still the start of the workweek for humans and they get all depressed about that)- I decided that today’s blog will be siamese cat memes! We siamese cats are great for relaxing our humans and giving them reasons to smile. So here we go!
Yesterday Sushi was sitting next to the Human on the front porch, and Sheba was laying next to her. That was okay, but then she crossed a line- she stood up and started marking our human and head-bunting her wanting love and snuggles! The Human thought it was sweet, but Sushi and I didn’t appreciate it at all!
Then I heard our Human sweet-talking Sheba and decided that had to stop, so I came running up to my Human to give her some snuggles of my own, and warn off Sheba. You’ll never believe me, probably, but Sheba saw me running up to love on MY HUMAN, and she growled and hissed at me, and swatted at me with both paws! She wasn’t going to let me get to our human or even go in my OWN HOUSE! *tail flap!* Awwww, HECKKKKKKK NO!
Our human picked me up, and hung me over her shoulder and started loving on me, and Sheba got mad- she went and laid down in the grass swishing her tail violently and kept giving me dirty looks. But then our human made Sushi and me so happy! She told Sheba that if she can’t “mind her manners,” she’ll have to go back home! Then she took me inside and gave me treats. (Sheba won’t mess with Sushi because Sushi could flatten her).
I made sure to sneer at Sheba over Mom’s shoulder when she took me inside and shoot her a warning look, and it made me feel so good that our human put her in her place. She keeps loving on our human because she knows we have treats- and her Mom is trying to cut her back on treats, because she won’t eat her food! What a rotten scheme!
So Sushi and I had a discussion with our human and she promised not to let Sheba have any of our treats no matter how sweet she acts.
There’s more to this story, but I’ll have to finish it tomorrow- our human is adjusting to a new Critter schedule starting tomorrow because their mom got a better job- so I have to get our human to give us our evening brushing and snuggles now before she shuts everything down for the night.
See- Sushi has already got my spot on the couch! Goodnight for now!
You’ve been paying too much attention to Sushi lately.
So, I’m going to remind you how utterly adorable I am. I know I’ve been staying outside a lot lately, but my Mama has been coming to play- and Mocha (the siamese down the street that adores me) has been waiting for me to come out and play. And, well, he is handsome. So,….
Anyway, I haven’t been upset at you- I just love being out at night when its warm – (and when Mama and Mocha are out). So since I’ve been gone so much I decided to stay inside today so I could be near you and remind you how loveable I am. I know you didn’t forget- but I think Sushi did. This way, she’ll know she can’t just hog you all to herself.
I want to thank you for being such a good human to Sushi and me. Thank you for always grooming me and buying me good food and lots of treats and whipped cream. Thank you for taking me to the vet when you need to know I’m okay – (even though I cry), and for not letting the other cats pick on me. Oh, and thanks for always keeping those fleas off us, and for letting me take over all your favorite spots.
Now, for those reminders….
Next time Sushi tries to hog you all to herself, remember these okay? You and I both know I’m the cutest, but she’s bigger than me, so let’s just keep it our little secret. Okay, bye! Mocha’s waiting for me!
I have to admit I don’t like that the human has me on a diet, but in spite of my best attempt at pleading eyes, she still insists on keeping me on it. It’s downright depressing. Twilight gets to eat whenever she wants- “but Twilight’s only 8 pounds!”- or so the Human says. It’s still not fair. I mean, look at me. I’m twice her size, (and older) so I say I have seniority here. Obviously if I’m bigger, I need more food. But NO! According to the vet, I need less food, and the human is doing her best to see to it. Dangit.
But, at least one great thing comes with it….
And that is that the Can Opener schedules daily playtime with me now and makes it as much of a priority as her own workouts! She bought me a new toy, and Oh, my CATS I love it! Hey, at least she doesn’t make me do her workouts- holy catnip! Mine are a lot more fun! See for yourself!
Whew! I’m exhausted! I still hate being on a diet, but now I know I’ll get scheduled playtime every day because the human thinks its important for me.