“Don’t mind me, little duckie- I’m just going to help you find your way to Mama….”
I had the most
delicious, I mean, interesting encounter today in the backyard! I was minding my own business, stalking through the grass and chasing butterflies, when I saw something moving in the nieghbor’s long grass by the fence behind our house.
Before I could stop myself, I was sprinting through the backyard chasing a darling baby duck! He was so
FAT, I mean, DARLING! Next thing I knew, he somehow accidentally got in my mouth! It was the strangest thing! He just sort of stuck his neck right between my jaws, and I have no idea how it happened, but I was happy, because I could save the Can Opener all that work of opening a can for my dinner, and I knew she’d be proud of me for catching (I mean, FINDING) a pretty little duck to invite to dinner!
But then, the backup Can Opener came outside and saw me and told me to let go of the duck! Well, thanks to Dad, I was startled, and that little rascally thing took advantage of it and dropped to the ground and waddled off, and I tried to go after it (I had to help it find it’s way back to its mama)- really- But Dad came after me so I ran inside.
I managed to avoid getting kept inside, and as quickly as I could manage it, I flew back outside to find my duckie again- but the
tasty little guy had crept under the fence already and found it’s Mama- so I couldn’t get it back!
I don’t know why, but those Mama ducks can get really grouchy in a heartbeat. Geez!
We’ve got to come up with a plan, Twilight.
I was feeling all better today, because our Can Opener prayed for me last night and then gave me some Lysine paw gel and spoiled me all night. I was feeling great this morning- and then, she opened the back door to let Twilight out, and that psycho cat next door (Sheba) came racing into the kitchen, and went straight to my dish!
Sorry, it’s not to your liking, Your Highness…
The “Queen” wasn’t impressed with the Fancy Feast in my dish, and sat at the dish complaining to our human, demanding tuna. When the Can Opener refused to open a can for her (because she already has 30 open cans in the fridge for me and Twilight)- and, because she’s not our cat, Sheba growled and swatted at her and bolted out the back door!
And right before that, Twilight had been outside and Sheba chased away her (targeted) bird! HOW RUDE! Now Sheba will deny it, but tell me- if that’s not true “Queen Sheba,” why was there a limp bird and feathers on your Mom’s front porch today??
Finally! A Spring Morning that is sunny and warm!
Oh how pawsome it was- finally no rain, and it even felt warmer. I went out to scratch my claws and listen to the serenading birds that sing every morning and I loved it so much I didn’t want to go inside!
I didn’t feel very energetic, because yesterday my tummy was bothering me, but I went out anyhow and am so glad I did! Actually, my tummy is still bothering me today, so I wrote a note to myself to yowl loudly to communicate to my human that I need special attention today. You should try it sometime. It works like a charm!
Since the Can Opener was busy making breakfast for the critters, I decided to guard the backyard from any stray dogs (or other cats), or even bugs that would try to go after my humans. The Tiny One REALLY doesn’t like bugs. I didn’t see any bugs that early, but believe me, if there’s one within 10 miles, the Tiny One will discover it and alert the whole world loud enough for them to hear her in Hong Kong. No wonder the human needs so much coffee to get through the day!
Anyway, after a while of enjoying basking in the warm sunshine, I decided the coast was clear of bugs (long enough for me to go get a nap). It’s exhausting work examining every little movement outside to make sure it’s not something that will scare or bite the Tiny One.
When I came inside I discovered a trail of treats waiting for me to hunt them down! What a treasure! Exhausted though I was, I got to work right away- (after visiting my food dish for a few minutes to make sure the offering was acceptable).
That was a really fun discovery- unfortunately I found and ate them all way too soon and then couldn’t find anymore. Oh well. Must mean it’s time for another nap! I hope next time she makes the treats bigger!
I feel like whining.
I love it when the Tiny One comes here every day. But today she spent so much time busy with school, and playing outside with her sister, and doing other cat un-friendly things (instead of snuggling me), that I felt left out.
How To Hide what you do Outside
Greetings Fellow felines. Twilight here. Welcome to Lesson 11 of How to Train Your Humans. Today I’m going to give you some tips to help you hide your outdoor activites from those nosy pet humans of yours.
If you’re like most cats, you tend to get into a little trouble now and then when your humans finally decide to let you go out and roam freely. Some humans don’t worry about what you may be doing- others get really paranoid that you may do something to upset their neighbors. You know, like maybe using their flowerbeds for a litterbox.
A few helpful tips…
Now, of course, I know none of my readers do that sort of thing, however tempting it may be… but let’s just pretend for a little bit, that one day you’re out enjoying the sun and you suddenly have to use the litterbox. Well, your litterbox may be several houses away- (or even a few blocks away, if you’re having a really great day). What do you do? Do you try to hold it until you mosey on down a few blocks to your litterbox _(where you may discover it’s been polluted by your housemate)? Or, like any sane cat, are you going to look for a nice, well-kept, fragrant flowerbed? That’s what I thought.
First, if you see a dog in your chosen yard, forget it. They’ll sound the alarm and the next thing you know, the flipping marines will be hunting for you.
Look for a nice, fragrant flowerbed with plenty of hiding places.
Here’s an example of a great place! It even has a surprise cat treat!! *(see squirrel peeking out)*!
Now, those pesky humans aren’t all that patient about their hard work being messed up – but let’s look at it this way. You’ve got to go someplace, right? And even humans like a nicely fragranced clean “litterbox.” The trick is to get in and out quickly without being discovered – this is especially important if the owner of the yard is grumpy.
One more thing- don’t forget to watch out for those tiny two-legged critters. If there’s one of them around, it’ll be your luck they’ll see you and alert everyone before you can even choose a spot.
Feel bad about doing that in someone’s flower bed? Well, if you’re a conscientious cat, and you feel bad about it, look at it this way- You’re helping them by fertilizing their garden for them! Just think of all the money you’ll save them on fertilizer by the end of the year. And they’re helping you too, By relieving you of the necessity to stop sunbathing to run home to your litterbox. Sounds fair to me!
And, even if you get caught, you just may be lucky enough to find the owner of the flowerbed will be a crazy old cat lady who cares more about cats than her flowers, and you never know- she just may even come out and offer you tuna! Especially if you give her the big, sad (scared) eyes, and meow like you haven’t eaten in a century. It’s worth a try, right?
But if that fails, run like the lightening, fly into your house and pretend to be asleep- that way if the neighbor complains, you can pretend you know nothing about it, and your human will think they’ve confused you with another cat! MWAHAHAHAHA!
I needed the Can Opener to go to sleep so I could track down the new bag of treats she’s been hiding from Twilight and me. So I decided to snuggle up with her when the Tiny One took her nap, and conveniently “nap” on her lap until she fell asleep.
But the problem is, the Can Opener never takes a nap. She reads, or plays games or just talks with someone while the Tiny One sleeps- only this time, luckily, she did fall asleep because the night before she had tossed and turned all night.
I thought it would be a breeze to just sneak off while they slept and find my delicious bag of treats. Unfortunately, I fell asleep for real. By the time I woke up to begin my treat hunt, the Can Opener was already trying to wake up the little One.
So, I didn’t have the chance I thought I would to track down the treat bag. I guess next time I’ll have to try harder to just look asleep. But I did get a lot of love and snuggles and my belly rubbed a lot.
Twilight says she is going to teach me her tricks- I don’t know what she does differently, but she sure knows how to get what she wants every time. So, I guess after she teaches me her tricks I’ll try again. Meanwhile, I’ll settle for the best tummy rubs I’ve ever had in all my 9 lives!
Time to enjoy some great fellow furballs!
Starting with me and Sushi, of course. We don’t mean to be vain, but let’s face it- we’re the most adorable cats on the internet…..RIGHT?
She took our chocolate scented bunny but it’s okay.
See that white bunny? Well, Twilight and I play with it at night while the Can Openers sleep. Twilight uses it for a pillow, and when she wakes up in the middle of the night wanting to play, and our lazy humans insist on sleeping instead, we
fight over it, I mean, play with it. We toss it all over the living room, and every morning when our lazy human finally drags herself out of bed at 4:00 am, we always have it laying in the middle of the bedroom doorway as a signal to the Can Opener that we’ve made a note of her refusal to play with us on demand.
Why does that matter?
Because it smells like chocolate. The Can Opener got it as an Easter surprise a couple of years ago from the Back-up Can Opener and she cherishes it. So do we. But today, the Tiny One brought her own new bunny rabbit and it
needed a playmate. Yep. It was “lonely.” And at naptime it needed a friend to cuddle with. Someone to keep it company. The Can Opener just happens to be a big marshmallow, so she let the Tiny One sleep with it for her nap so her purple bunny wouldn’t cry.
Then of course, after naptime, the Tiny One wanted to take it home when Daddy picked her up so that the purple bunny and the chocolate bunny (“Bun-Bun”)- could “have a sleepover.” See where this is heading?
Well, of course we’ll not be surprised if “Bun-Bun” somehow gets lost or abducted by aliens in the middle of the night and never makes his scented way back to us.
But of course, one look at that satisfied innocent smile, and even us sarcastic cats can’t say no. Dangit.
Well, I guess now Twilight and I will have to find something else to drag into the middle of the bedroom doorway to signal our human. Maybe I’ll grab a couple of those prized coffee kcups of hers and sink my teeth into them after we play hockey with them for a few hours and carefully ‘drop’ them where she can’t miss them. I don’t know about Twilight, but it sounds like a good idea to me.
Yes. Hockey it is!!
I was having a nap on my spot right next to the Can Opener’s computer- where it’s really convenient for her to reach over and pet me while she’s typing.
Then I got up to check out the ducks in the yard. But when I came back to finish my nap, I found this… and I was not happy!
The Bed Thief
Sushi just glared at me and went back to sleep. I was not having it. That thing she’s laying on is called a “Boppy.” It’s a special soft pillow meant to wrap around a mommy’s waist while she’s sitting to hold a baby on – and ever since the Tiny Critter outgrew it, I claimed it for my bed (since it wasn’t being used anymore). It’s sooooooo thick and comfy and it lets me settle in perfectly. It’s just my size.
But Sushi decided to claim it for herself – although the whole couch is “her spot.” If she has her way, my boppy will be as flat as a flipping PANCAKE!
So naturally, I tried to have a friendly discussion with her – cat to cat. Nice and civilized. It went something like this:
Jeez. How rude. I’ll just camp out right next to the lamp – and then sleep on the nice, warm keyboard. Let’s see how Miss Fussypants likes THAT!