All posts by Twilight & Sushi

About Twilight & Sushi

Hi! I'm Twilight! Champion Mouser, purrsonal (human) trainer, hypnotist, and sleep therapist. My new sister, Sushi and I are always up to no good, but we have a lot of fun. Join us for all things cat! We will soon be starting lessons for you cats to teach you how to master the humans around you and have them wrapped around your little paws! No more cheap cat food, no more dogs in the house, and no more of those LOUD grand-critters!

How to Train your Humans

Yes, I’m back. With a lesson to help you cats train those annoying humans.

Use the other cats in your house to your advantage.

Some cats have a harder time than others when it comes to getting their humans to respond to their wishes. This is because some humans are just plain dumb -(look at politicians, for example)- and other humans aren’t trying to be unkind or careless, they’re just not paying attention to your requests and body language. So, how do you get their attention?

For example, what do you do when you’re hungry and your humans are taking their time about getting up to feed you?

First you have to remind them who the boss is. Humans have this stubborn belief that we are their pets and they are in control of everything. I say it’s time to clear that up for them – permanently.

Methods that work:

  • The Sweet Snuggle

Most cats try a little morning snuggle with their humans, to gently wake them up. Sometimes this results in the human smiling and immediately getting up to meet your demands requests. Sometimes cats have to go just a little further- like maybe gently licking or pawing at their humans’ faces.

  • The Race Track

My personal favorite, is to gently climb up on the human’s bed, then wait a second to see if she wakes up- then if she doesn’t, I immediately CHARGE up her body, then across the bed (crossing diagnonally both the Can Opener and the backup Can Opener)- and back again about three times. Usually this works beautifully.

  • Removing the BLINDers

BUT- If that doesn’t work, the next most effective trick is to jump into the bedroom window, being sure to part the curtains or blinds enough to let the light in. Of course, this is most effective if you have vertical blinds, as they make a loud rattling noise when you fly into them.

Sometimes however, you have to pull out all the stops-This is where it helps if there is another pet in the house. Another cat or (God forbid, a dog).

Who, ME?

This morning Sushi and I did all those things, and still our primary Can Opener kept snoozing. We found out later (unfortunately) that she’d had a hard time sleeping because of pain- Oh well, she needed to wake up anyway because we’re hungry. That brings me to the next method:

  • The Co-Conspirator Method

So, I decided to take matters into my own paws and used Sushi to my advantage. After charging as fast as possible across both humans numerous times, (as Sushi wailed as loudly as possible at the foot of the bed), I jumped into the window making as much noise as possible with the blinds, then waited for her to get up.

After seeing that she still wasn’t getting up, I made an “executive decision” and then pounced on Sushi from the window! MWAHAHAHAHA!

And finally, the resulting war in the bedroom woke them both up (BONUS POINTS)!


Disclaimer: Not all methods work 100% of the time. Before trying the “Removing the BLINDers” method, make sure the windowsill is wide enough to support your weight and your claws will hold. It’s also a good idea to first make sure the window is closed. If it’s open, the blinds won’t make sufficient noise.

Twilight

That Plot thickens.

At least it’s dry under here.

Unending Rain and Cold….

Once again there’s not a dry spot in my yard except for inside the playset. And even then I had to climb up to the roof. Good thing I haven’t let the Can Opener trim my claws lately. That plot against the weatherman is getting more and more tempting.

The tornado didn’t like the rain either- until it stopped for a little bit and the Can Opener pounced on the opportunity to take her for a walk. Then she encountered puddles and decided that jumping in them was almost as much fun as snow- especially when it resulted in getting the Can Opener all wet too!

And then there were DUCKS!

The tornado stopped talking and tip-toed so she wouldn’t scare the ducks!!
When they got back, Sheba was outside and wanted to play!
She decided to come in with them and invite herself to lunch!

Well, I’m going out if Sheba’s coming in! See ya!


The Tiny Tornado is back!

Thank God she’s working on school now. If I hear Mickey Mouse one more time, I’m going to EAT HIM!

Well, the peace and quiet around here has left the building.

Okay, Put the stethoscope away, doctor- and don’t come near me with that thermometer!

I see why the human never has energy to play with me in the evenings lately- it’s that little tornado that buzzes around the house scattering toys and laughing gleefully the whole time. But she loves me and Sushi and even though I spend all my time dodging her, she does love to feed us treats -(I know it’s a trap, so I run as soon as I eat the treats and go where she can’t reach me)!

Sushi unfortunately, either doesn’t know the treats are bait, or she doesn’t care. She falls for it every time and ends up becoming the critter’s favorite toy until she finally falls asleep wherever she happens to be.

Actually, Sushi is just fine with that.

The Plot Against the Weatherman

Day Three

Okay, So there wasn’t a “Day One,” or a “Day Two.” That’s because today is the third straight day of icy cold rain and wind, and frankly, I didn’t think about plotting against the weatherman until today. My bad.

The Can Opener says, “Twilight, you’re a little grumpy today- feeling a little cattitude?” I asked her how she’d like her clothes shredded. (Never got an answer- she just sort of suddenly decided to get a cup of coffee and go clean something). I am so tired of rain. The entire backyard (which is my purrsonal playground), looks like a lake (except for all the mud)…. and I can’t go out and play and come in and leave nice, muddy pawprints on things like I normally would. There goes the highlight of my day.

To make matters worse, there’s a flock of at least 20 big fat ducks (and a pair of geese), who constantly hang out on the bike path behind our house at stare at me through the window while the rain is pouring down on them and I swear they’re daring me to come get them. Hope mom doesn’t mind the big puddle of drool in the windowsill.

photo by Omar Ramadan (Pexels)

Now those aren’t the same ducks that have been inviting me to dinner since this flooding started- the human actually made me have to find a picture that looked like them (“since you can’t go out and play anyway”)- It’s not my fault she’s too lazy to put a tarp on and stand out in the pouring rain and get me a picture.

And Sushi is no help at all. She’s perfectly content to stay inside and keep the couch from getting up and walking away.

Good God. Not even Hercules couldn’t pick that couch up with her on it.

So since Sushi is too lazy to play with me and the Can Opener says she can’t control the weather, my only choice is to go after the weatherman. But How?