This diet the human Can Opener has me on has gotten old. I got desperate and Twilight and I had an emergency consultation. She gave me a few hints, and I applied every single one of them Tuesday when the Critters were here last.
I very carefully timed my plan, and just as I’d hoped, around the Tiny One’s naptime, Tuesday, I saw the Can Opener starting to rush around to finish up lunch and get things ready for nap-time, and since the Big Critter was at the desk attending her live classes, I wound myself around her feet, and let her know I wanted to be put on the boppy that is on top of the desk to “keep her company” while she did her schoolwork.
Of course, this worked like a charm, but what she didn’t think of, is that I could see the bag of treats had been left on the desk earlier. I had a plan to make sure she noticed it and put “cat” + “treats” together, and got the right equation. You know, that girl is good at math!
As I had hoped, the Can Opener had lost track of time while helping the littlest Critter with her schoolwork, lunch, and getting ready for naptime, and said yes…
Maybe it’s because I stayed out playing late last night – (best time for mouse hunting) – maybe it’s the fact that it’s pouring rain outside, or the fact that the Can Opener is taking “Quiet time” before the Critters keep her hopping for the rest of the day. All I know is the coffee isn’t working for me- (or the human).
Maybe it’ll liven things up a little bit if we look at some funnies together? Let’s give it a try.
Thanks for stopping by peeps. Have a great day- it’s my naptime.
This morning I bolted outside as soon as my Can Opener got up, and after playing by the stream for a couple of hours, I came inside to find Sushi freshly groomed and medicated, snoozing on Mom’s lap. I could tell Mom had been through a battle to give her the eye medicine, and probably could use some stress relief.
I noticed Mom’s coffee cup was empty (unthinkable!), so I sniffed at it to suggest she get up for a refill. Once she had successfully moved the boulder (Sushi) off her lap (as it complained and growled), I ran ahead of her into the kitchen where the blue feather thingie she just bought for Sushi happened to be laying on the couch. (*Hint, Hint)*
She had to wait for her coffee to brew, so she took time to play with me! I’ve missed playing with her so much!
I could tell she’s missed playing with me, too. But things have gotten very crazy around here lately, and it’s been hard for her to have the opportunity. I was so happy, when her coffee was ready, and she kept on playing with me instead of getting back to what she had been doing!
I’m so happy that we finally had some time to play together. The Can Opener enjoyed watching me have fun and I enjoyed hearing her laugh at my friskiness. Just so you know, you humans are all wound up lately and your kitties (and Creatures)- can feel it too. Give yourself a break for a few minutes every day to stop for a bit and just enjoy them. It’s medicine for both of you.
Twilight has been running around with Romeo again. Oh joy.
Somehow she thinks I want to hear all about her romance with Romeo, the siamese down the street. I could care less. Now, if she wants to tell me about a handsome calico cat, or a persian, I might want to hear about it. But I’m not interested in her boyfriend and his “purrfect royal blue eyes.” Geez.
We more experienced felines are more concerned about the important things in life- like food, catnip, treats, and the best napping spots in the house.
We’re different. She loves to run wild outside, chase mice and butterflies, climb trees and hunt ducks.
I love a nice, warm lap to nap on. Especially if it comes with a nice long grooming, a massage on my head and shoulders, followed by treats, and accompanied by a teddy bear with a blanket tucked around me.
I’d rather melt into the Can Opener’s lap and purr myself to sleep any day. Oh! It’s time for my grooming now! Goodnight!
Twilight has a boyfriend now. He’s a Seal Point Siamese that lives a few streets away, and at first she used to run from him. Now she watches for him to come serenade her at the bedroom window then gives the human the big blue eyes to let her out. That’s why I’m posting so much lately- she’s always running around with Romeo. I hate to tell the guy, but he won’t get anywhere with her, because she’s been “fixed.” But at least meanwhile, it keeps her from pestering me to play with her!
Speaking of playing, the Critters are running circles around me all day long and can’t keep their sticky little paws off me.
I love the Critters, but the minute my paws touch the carpet they both drop everything in unison and race to sit in the floor beside me and compete to scratch my back and pet my head, and beg the Can Opener to let them give me treats.
Sounds heavenly, right? Not if you’re a sleepy cat who just wants some peace and quiet. And on top of that, the Can Opener put me on a diet so now the Critters arent’ allowed to load me up with treats 6 times a day anymore.
SIX TIMES A DAY (x 2 CRITTERS)- THAT’S 12 EXTRA TREATS A DAY I’M MISSING OUT ON! THIS HAS TO STOP!
I mean, Seriously? How much is a cat supposed to endure in 9 lives?
So, Here’s my “plan A” – (I won’t need a plan B)…
I’ll act like I’m starving first thing in the morning and keep yelling for food (after I’m fed). I’ll let the human put my eye medicine in (she’ll give me treats for letting her put the medicine in without shredding her)….
Then when the Critters get here, I’ll wait til the littlest one has her running all over the place, then I’ll go to the biggest one and give her the eyes and convince her I haven’t been fed or given treats yet. She’ll be heartbroken for me, and wait for a chance to sneak me another feeding and some more treats while the human is taking care of the first catasrophe the little one makes.
Then I’ll go to Human #2 (the backup Can Opener), and snuggle him and he’ll give me treats- then while the Can Opener is still working on breakfast and tea time snacks, and planning lunch, I’ll go wind around her ankles acting as pathetic and hungry as possible. If I time it just right, she’ll think she was so busy with the little Critter that she forgot to feed me, and she’ll feed me again. Or, better yet, she’ll let the big Critter “help” – and she’ll feed me twice what the Can Opener will. And sneak me more treats. Purrfect!
Then during tea time, and lunch, the Can Opener will be so busy she won’t notice that I’m eating Twilight’s food.
That’ll get me through breakfast and lunch. Then when the little one goes to sleep for her nap, I’ll climb up on the biggest Critter and start the process all over again. She falls for it every time! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! She might even load me up with Redi Whip!
It’s all because the Vet said I need to go on a diet.
I’m not sure whether I should be happy or hissed. Because, the surprise was supposed to help me lose weight. I know my humans love me as I am- but the vet said I need to lose weight, so they’re looking for ways to get me moving. Purrsonally, I love sleeping. That’s moving- (I stretch and twitch my whiskers when I dream)!
This is what they came up with. I would’ve preferred a big steak. It’s easier.
I found out soon after the first encounter that there’s not one fish, but two.
Oh joy. They expect me to tackle it. But although it looks like a fish, it doesn’t SMELL like a fish. Who do they think they’re fooling? But, since I’m bored out of my mind, and the humans bought it for me to play with, I’ll humor them…. maybe they’ll give me a bucket of treats when I play enough.
For now, That fish wore me out. I need a nap. I earned it.
Well, I can’t help the feeding part, because that’s up to Mom- but I know from watching Mom that losing weight is more than just eating less. It’s about eating well- (foods that are healthy). But one thing Mom says is you have to exercise too. You can’t just be a couch cat (like Sushi) and expect to lose weight.
The Can Opener tries to get her to play to make her get some exercise, but she just isn’t interested in the dangly thing -(unless the human is using it to play with me)- and my Can Opener has been searching all day for ways to help Sushi start moving so she can lose weight. She’s looked for toys that slow down her eating and supplements, and she’s read articles, and Sushi just wants to lay on a nice, warm nap all day and sleep- (Not that that’s a bad idea).
This morning she was all cuddled up on the end of the bed while the Can Opener was waking up with her coffee, having her devotion, and I decided I’d help Mom motivate her to play. But it didn’t have quite the effect I planned. See for yourself!
Well, she sure is grumpy! I think I’ll leave this problem to the Can Opener, and I’ll go look for another playmate. That one’s got no sense of humor at all!
And I remembered the Vet wanted me on a diet. I thought I was on a diet. A very nice one, actually- food on demand (MY demand). Treats several times a day just because I’m cute. And because the critters come over and beg to feed me treats -(they’re my secret agents). The diet I was on was very satisfying. High protein dry food with all the good stuff- a variety of very expensive tiny cans of deliciousness- and a few hundred treats a day.
I didn’t see anything wrong with it. So imagine my surprise this morning when I didn’t get the usual amount of food in my dish, and I wasn’t offered my morning appetizer of treats… I looked at the human for clues- and she reminded me the vet said I had to go on a diet.
I kept trying to reason with her, but she had made up her mind. So I gave her a stern warning, and we’ll see tomorrow if she gets to keep her job.
More tomorrow. For now, it’s not looking good for her.
Good Morning. Or should I say, “Mourning?” After all, it is MONDAY again.
Sushi’s about to come into the room and claim my Can Opener’s lap again, so I’m going to hunt down my mama and then go duck hunting by the stream. Just knowing that Sushi’s going to hog my human for the next hour puts me in a grumpy mood, so I looked up some other felines who are in a grumpy mood and they brightened my morning. Maybe they’ll brighten yours a little too.
I hope all you cat moms out there (Human and feline) had a great Mother’s day. Every Mother deserves to be recognized and rewarded for their efforts in caring for their little ones (human or feline). No one realizes how hard they work – unless they are Moms themselves. Purrs to all you Moms!
Sushi was sound asleep in the bedroom where she had been for hours while I used my time constructively to shred the toilet paper, shed fur on the pile of clean laundry, knock a few things down from the top of the desk, and zip past the water dish just close enough to tip it over and I was so proud of myself for my hard work.
So I went to the living room to ask the human for a treat or two – (or a bag). The human is a sucker for my blue eyes, so she always gives me treats. But then as soon as she picked up the bag, a walking boulder came out of the bedroom and started not so politely demanding that she get treats first.
The Can Opener had already given Sushi her share of treats- but I take my time with mine, while Sushi gobbles up whole handfuls at a time, so she gobbled all hers up and had eaten them all before I ate half of mine. Then she kept inching her way over to finish mine for me.
Lucky for me, the Can Opener picked Sushi up and moved her to the couch so I could eat my treats in peace. No wonder her back hurts.
But before she could get her pout going, she fell asleep. “Hey, Mom- how about sneaking me some more treats, since she’s asleep?”