Category Archives: cat complaints

Twilight’s Monday Mischief

Hey, Can Opener. You need to find another weatherman. I don’t like this one’s reports.

The Rain is here again. Time to get creative.

Once again it’s raining constantly. As if that wasn’t enough, its also freezing cold. There goes my hunting plans. I’m convinced that the rats and mice in the neighborhood have orchestrated this debacle just to torment me, only I can’t figure out quite how they managed it.

But boy, when I do figure it out- they’re going to pay!

Meanwhile, I have to find less appetizing ways to entertain myself until the rain stops and the sun comes out again. I can only play so many tricks on Sushi- (she’s got no sense of humor)- and the Can Opener only plays with me for a few minutes at a time before she darts off to do something else, so I’m connecting with some of the neighborhood cats to get some fresh ideas.

Hey- This idea promises to be fun!

Maybe I’ll just start hunting for Bigfoot-

Well, What do you know! I found him!

Well, that was short-lived. Now what am I going to do?


We’re Back- (well, in the morning)…

The Can Opener started this earlier today- but then she went to work, and after that, Sushi got her sidetracked-
Thanks, Mount Sushi.

It’s been a while- (it’s Sushi’s fault).

We’ve been busy keeping the rodent population down- (well, I have… Sushi only works on keeping those pesky blankets down). The Can Opener has a lot going on, and we’ve been telling her to get on the ball and post for us- but she’s as stubborn as ever and we can’t always get her to listen to her overlords (us) as well as she should. We are discussing disciplinary options now, but really, what can we do?

We threaten to with-hold treats from her, but she’s the one who buys everything so that doesn’t always work out. The closest we can come to with-holding her treats, is to stick our paws in her ice cream before she can dive in. But that lady is faster than lightening when it comes to ice cream.

Still, we’re working on getting this lady under control- but for now, she’s falling asleep and we haven’t had our nightly grooming and snuggles yet- so we’re going to make her give us attention now, and we’ll let her have her computer back in the morning. (Maybe)…

I don’t like the sound of this

“People food for Cats-“

I smell bananas and spinach- and it had better be for Sushi.

I think the Can Opener’s obsession with fruits and vegetables has gone a little too far. Of course, some cats (like the psycho cat next door- Sheba-) actually like some of this weird stuff. She even goes crazy when her human has watermelon until she gets some of it.

So, if you’re one of those cats that like people food- you’ll love this. But if not- just remember, this wasn’t my idea- the Can Opener did it!


The Can Opener’s Driving me Crazy.

She’s obsessed with my belly. Good Grief.

If she puts a cone on me, she’ll be sorry!

It finally quit raining ash, and the smoke cleared up, so a couple of days ago the Can Opener finally let me go out again and lay in a sun puddle on the doorstep in the center of her flowers. It felt so good- my own purrsonal heating pad without that annoying cord.

But a few hours after my belly-obsessed Can Opener called me in, I started scratching and pulling at my belly, and she kept trying to get me to stop, but of course, I didn’t, because DUH! I’m a CAT. I do what I want.

She was busy (what else is new)- so it took her a while to actually sit down for a few minutes and look at my belly. When she saw I had pulled some fur out, she had a catniption fit and the next thing I knew, she reached inside the kitty kit -(her evil bag of tricks she keeps all my meds and brushes in)- and out came a bottle, and she picked me up and sprayed my belly 4 times with that vile thing!

Before the spray…..
Today! After 3 sprays twice a day since Saturday.

She had called the vet, who told her to put a cone on me- lucky for me she hasn’t been able to get one yet- but she’s still looking. Meanwhile, she’s been watching me like a paranoid hawk, and on the few occasions I’d start to pull at my fur again, she’d shake the treat bag- and my head (of course), immediately popped up and I forgot what I was doing!! 😹

You know, I hate to admit it, but now I don’t mind that spray- I just sit now and let her spray me. I’m not going to tell her, but it makes the irritation go away instantly!! Don’t tell her I said that, though- I kind of have a good thing going here… If I just pretend to start chewing at myself, out come the treats!! 😻

Now it’s time for a nap!


Twilight’s Cat Problems

You know, you humans think we cats don’t have problems. But we do!

I’ve heard humans say we cats have it made-

And they’re right- usually. That is if we are living with properly trained Can Openers. Otherwise, well- not so much.

For example… My friend Frisky who lives a few blocks away can never get his humans to get out of bed and feed him on time. So sometimes he has to get a little “creative…”

Then, next door to Frisky is Princeton – his humans are obsessed with persnickity produce that just dares him to do anything about it.

And just down the street a little further, there’s Lizzy– Whose Can Opener thinks it’s still the Elizabethan age.

And (almost) worst of all- poor Twinkie just found out she’s ADOPTED!

So the next time you see a ‘stray’ cat trying to move in with you, have a heart, will ya’? You never know what problems are driving them away from home!


Morning Coffee with Sushi

LET ME AT HIM, MOM!

WHAT IS HE DOING IN MY HOUSE?!

A couple of mornings ago, The Can Opener sat down in the living room rug to play with Twilight – (Twilight loves to hide under big pieces of paper and attack the toys the human teases her with)- and when she was done playing, she went outside while the Can Opener made a fresh cup of coffee, then sat down and put me on her lap to brush me.

It was heavenly. I was purring as she brushed me, talked to me and rubbed my ears – then I smelled something that alerted me (and the human) that something wasn’t right- we both looked up and there was THAT!

A strange cat had just cruised right in the backdoor and helped himself to Twilight’s paper roll and started making himself right at home!

Hey- word on the street is, You’ve got great cat food here. How about a sample? And thanks for the toys!

I think I scared Mom when I reacted to him, because I made my hot displeasure known- not only because an intruder had invaded my castle, but because on account of that THING, Mom picked me up and moved me off her lap to go deal with him! NOT FAIR.

He looked at me as if to say, “deal with it, sweetheart- I’m not going anywhere.”

Mom went to him to chase him out of the house, and noticed he didn’t have a collar on- and he came right to her immediately, plopped down at her feet and rolled over, wanting to be petted. She realized then, that this was clearly not a feral cat- they will always run away and definitely don’t want to be handled by a stranger.

He also is very healthy- but, she noticed a wound under his “armpit”- a small wound, but it was definitely open. As if someone (or something) had sliced him – (about a 1/2 inch long). He also was covered with burs (meaning he most likely had been hanging out on the bikepath / stream behind our house). He was starving – and it was really hot outside (100 degrees). He seemed relieved to find a cool spot and a dish of cool water.

She said she knows the neighbors and their pets around here – but he doesn’t belong to any of them – but a lot of people have moved out (or been evicted)- recently – and since he doesn’t behave like a feral cat, and is begging for love (as well as food) everytime he comes around, she says she thinks someone moved out and left him behind.

So being that she saw a wound on him and that he was covered with burs all over the place, she put a blanket in the carpet and got the kitty kit out, and decided to try and clean his wound and remove the burs and see if she could help him. Thanks a lot, Mom. Wait til I tell Twilight!

After all she did to take care of him she started looking to find an owner- no one seems to know anything about him. But he won’t stay away. When she put him outside after tending to his needs, he growled- and turned around before she could shut the door and came back in! He refuses to leave!

And (of course) the Critters (and everyone else) love him.

So the Can Opener is planning to take him to the vet as soon as she can to get him checked and see if he has a chip so If he’s lost, he can be returned to his owners. And if not, she wants to get him fixed – (but he doesn’t look broken to us). Our fear is that after all that, she may find out he’s not chipped and keep him! But, the Critters’ parents just may adopt him- because he’s “SOOOOOO CUTE AND LOVEABLE!- AND, He’s a Russian Blue!”

Oh yay.

Until then, it looks like we’re stuck with “Mr. Smokey!” *tail flap*

Dyson’s Gotta Go.

Enough is Enough

Our Can Opener meant to be obedient and type for us yesterday, but life happened. AGAIN. Yesterday turned into a long, exhausting day for her, and and a boring day for me and Mount Sushi.

Not that Mount Sushi minds- as long as beloved ‘Mr.Dyson’ doesn’t reach his attachment too close to her on the couch where she’s snoring. The Can Opener got the new Dyson and immediately fell in love. Look, I know it’s hard being alone after 40 years of marriage, but I think she’s a little too attached to that thing.

Every time I so much as scratch, here comes the giant bullhorn pulling up the carpet behind me. Mom says it’s a “constant battle” to get all our fur out of the carpet, the couch, the cat tree, and anything else we come into contact with. But that thing follows me around everywhere threatening to suck the whiskers right off my face. So today, she decided to vacuum the bedroom- and then she saw me in my bed.

Unfortunately, she also saw my lovely fur arrangement on my bed and I knew what she was thinking immediately- “there’s an attachment for that!”

I bolted out of there before she could even hit the “on” switch again.

Now I have to sit here on the cat tree (which for some reason only blooms when I’m around)- and wait to see what will be left of my soft, furry bed after the carpet eater attacks it. I really don’t know what she sees in that thing.

It’s him or me, Can Opener. You decide or I’ll decide for you.

I’m giving the Can Opener a break- for tonight!

Not that she deserves it, mind you- but I want treats!

That Dang Vet told her to cut back my treats!

This is because at my last visit, I had gained weight- (because of that steroid shot they gave me last summer)- so the Can Opener doesn’t let me “free feed” anymore- now I get fed at specific times of day (on the Can Opener’s open schedule)- I’ll starve!!!!

I think I’ve already lost a few precious ounces… my paws feel smaller- I think that’s enough- besides, when she brushes me, she brushes off at least 3 pounds of my fur- and I’m sure some of that has to be Twilight’s fur that just kind of landed on me when she walked by.

So if part of my “weight” is just fur- and if most of that is Twilight’s fur that just settles on me when I’m minding my own business, sleeping in the carpet… then WHY am I on a diet?

I think she should just suck Twilight up in the vacuum and I’ll immediately lose weight. Think she’ll believe me?

Me either- But tomorrow I’m going to try to convince her. Meanwhile, I’m going to cuddle her tonight and be really, really sweet- maybe she’ll cut me some slack in the morning and load me up on treats!

After all, it’s not my fault that I’m 17 pounds of pure love!
There’s always option two….

How to Train your Humans

GET OFF THE COUCH, FELINES! It’s time for another lesson on training those humans of yours!

Make them PLAY

One of a cats’ major complaints is having not having enough interaction and playtime with their human pets. Another complaint is not having enough (acceptable) toys to play with. This results in a bored (and slightly ticked) cat.

This is unacceptable for the serious cat. But our Can Openers are so preoccupied with working, keeping their two-legged critters out of trouble- (good luck with that)- shopping, and all that other boring human stuff that they don’t realize how stressed and maybe even hissed their feline bosses are.

When the humans are away, it’s vital to have some great toys to play with. Most humans don’t think about the fact that unlike them, we don’t usually have video games, iPhones and social media to keep us entertained when we get bored- and even a cat can only sleep so long.

In this picture, some of my pals show us what they do for fun when their humans forget to provide stimulating toys – They also share their toilet tissue review.


Sometimes if you’re lucky, one of those two-legged critters will leave something sitting on the counter in the kitchen that a bored cat can help themselves to when no one is looking.

With a little luck, it could be something really fun- like eggs – these are great to push off the counter. They aren’t toys, but there’s a very satisfying crack / thud when they hit the floor. And, when they break, you get a hefty snack!


Another fun idea is to check out other spaces in the kitchen- (not every human is thoughtful enough to leave eggs or butter on the counter). That’s why you need critters.

Picachu here has learned how to open the fridge. This could lead to a whole world of fun and food -(think Garfield’s lasagna)!

Or, you could just hide your trophies in there to surprise your favorite human!


P.S. You could always help the hamster escape too. Just to be kind. 😹