Category Archives: cat complaints

Morning Coffee with Sushi

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LET ME AT HIM, MOM!

WHAT IS HE DOING IN MY HOUSE?!

A couple of mornings ago, The Can Opener sat down in the living room rug to play with Twilight – (Twilight loves to hide under big pieces of paper and attack the toys the human teases her with)- and when she was done playing, she went outside while the Can Opener made a fresh cup of coffee, then sat down and put me on her lap to brush me.

It was heavenly. I was purring as she brushed me, talked to me and rubbed my ears – then I smelled something that alerted me (and the human) that something wasn’t right- we both looked up and there was THAT!

A strange cat had just cruised right in the backdoor and helped himself to Twilight’s paper roll and started making himself right at home!

Hey- word on the street is, You’ve got great cat food here. How about a sample? And thanks for the toys!

I think I scared Mom when I reacted to him, because I made my hot displeasure known- not only because an intruder had invaded my castle, but because on account of that THING, Mom picked me up and moved me off her lap to go deal with him! NOT FAIR.

He looked at me as if to say, “deal with it, sweetheart- I’m not going anywhere.”

Mom went to him to chase him out of the house, and noticed he didn’t have a collar on- and he came right to her immediately, plopped down at her feet and rolled over, wanting to be petted. She realized then, that this was clearly not a feral cat- they will always run away and definitely don’t want to be handled by a stranger.

He also is very healthy- but, she noticed a wound under his “armpit”- a small wound, but it was definitely open. As if someone (or something) had sliced him – (about a 1/2 inch long). He also was covered with burs (meaning he most likely had been hanging out on the bikepath / stream behind our house). He was starving – and it was really hot outside (100 degrees). He seemed relieved to find a cool spot and a dish of cool water.

She said she knows the neighbors and their pets around here – but he doesn’t belong to any of them – but a lot of people have moved out (or been evicted)- recently – and since he doesn’t behave like a feral cat, and is begging for love (as well as food) everytime he comes around, she says she thinks someone moved out and left him behind.

So being that she saw a wound on him and that he was covered with burs all over the place, she put a blanket in the carpet and got the kitty kit out, and decided to try and clean his wound and remove the burs and see if she could help him. Thanks a lot, Mom. Wait til I tell Twilight!

He actually seemed to welcome the attention-
Burrs removed, (with only growling, no resistance)- Neosporin applied, burshed, ears and eyes cleaned, and even allowed Advantage to be applied!
ShA

After all she did to take care of him she started looking to find an owner- no one seems to know anything about him. But he won’t stay away. When she put him outside after tending to his needs, he growled- and turned around before she could shut the door and came back in! He refuses to leave!

And (of course) the Critters (and everyone else) love him.

So the Can Opener is planning to take him to the vet as soon as she can to get him checked and see if he has a chip so If he’s lost, he can be returned to his owners. And if not, she wants to get him fixed – (but he doesn’t look broken to us). Our fear is that after all that, she may find out he’s not chipped and keep him! But, the Critters’ parents just may adopt him- because he’s “SOOOOOO CUTE AND LOVEABLE!- AND, He’s a Russian Blue!”

Oh yay.

Until then, it looks like we’re stuck with “Mr. Smokey!” *tail flap*
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Dyson’s Gotta Go.

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Enough is Enough

Our Can Opener meant to be obedient and type for us yesterday, but life happened. AGAIN. Yesterday turned into a long, exhausting day for her, and and a boring day for me and Mount Sushi.

Not that Mount Sushi minds- as long as beloved ‘Mr.Dyson’ doesn’t reach his attachment too close to her on the couch where she’s snoring. The Can Opener got the new Dyson and immediately fell in love. Look, I know it’s hard being alone after 40 years of marriage, but I think she’s a little too attached to that thing.

Every time I so much as scratch, here comes the giant bullhorn pulling up the carpet behind me. Mom says it’s a “constant battle” to get all our fur out of the carpet, the couch, the cat tree, and anything else we come into contact with. But that thing follows me around everywhere threatening to suck the whiskers right off my face. So today, she decided to vacuum the bedroom- and then she saw me in my bed.

Unfortunately, she also saw my lovely fur arrangement on my bed and I knew what she was thinking immediately- “there’s an attachment for that!”

I bolted out of there before she could even hit the “on” switch again.

Now I have to sit here on the cat tree (which for some reason only blooms when I’m around)- and wait to see what will be left of my soft, furry bed after the carpet eater attacks it. I really don’t know what she sees in that thing.

It’s him or me, Can Opener. You decide or I’ll decide for you.

I’m giving the Can Opener a break- for tonight!

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Not that she deserves it, mind you- but I want treats!

That Dang Vet told her to cut back my treats!

This is because at my last visit, I had gained weight- (because of that steroid shot they gave me last summer)- so the Can Opener doesn’t let me “free feed” anymore- now I get fed at specific times of day (on the Can Opener’s open schedule)- I’ll starve!!!!

I think I’ve already lost a few precious ounces… my paws feel smaller- I think that’s enough- besides, when she brushes me, she brushes off at least 3 pounds of my fur- and I’m sure some of that has to be Twilight’s fur that just kind of landed on me when she walked by.

So if part of my “weight” is just fur- and if most of that is Twilight’s fur that just settles on me when I’m minding my own business, sleeping in the carpet… then WHY am I on a diet?

I think she should just suck Twilight up in the vacuum and I’ll immediately lose weight. Think she’ll believe me?

Me either- But tomorrow I’m going to try to convince her. Meanwhile, I’m going to cuddle her tonight and be really, really sweet- maybe she’ll cut me some slack in the morning and load me up on treats!

After all, it’s not my fault that I’m 17 pounds of pure love!
There’s always option two….

How to Train your Humans

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GET OFF THE COUCH, FELINES! It’s time for another lesson on training those humans of yours!

Make them PLAY

One of a cats’ major complaints is having not having enough interaction and playtime with their human pets. Another complaint is not having enough (acceptable) toys to play with. This results in a bored (and slightly ticked) cat.

This is unacceptable for the serious cat. But our Can Openers are so preoccupied with working, keeping their two-legged critters out of trouble- (good luck with that)- shopping, and all that other boring human stuff that they don’t realize how stressed and maybe even hissed their feline bosses are.

When the humans are away, it’s vital to have some great toys to play with. Most humans don’t think about the fact that unlike them, we don’t usually have video games, iPhones and social media to keep us entertained when we get bored- and even a cat can only sleep so long.

In this picture, some of my pals show us what they do for fun when their humans forget to provide stimulating toys – They also share their toilet tissue review.

Sometimes if you’re lucky, one of those two-legged critters will leave something sitting on the counter in the kitchen that a bored cat can help themselves to when no one is looking.

With a little luck, it could be something really fun- like eggs – these are great to push off the counter. They aren’t toys, but there’s a very satisfying crack / thud when they hit the floor. And, when they break, you get a hefty snack!

Another fun idea is to check out other spaces in the kitchen- (not every human is thoughtful enough to leave eggs or butter on the counter). That’s why you need critters.

Picachu here has learned how to open the fridge. This could lead to a whole world of fun and food -(think Garfield’s lasagna)!

Or, you could just hide your trophies in there to surprise your favorite human!

P.S. You could always help the hamster escape too. Just to be kind. 😹

A Very Strange Neighbor

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I really don’t know what to think!

I don’t know what’s wrong with this guy!

He comes over daily and just peeks in our windows hoping for a handout. He hangs around trees a lot, and eats our strawberries in the garden, and our blueberries- he runs all over the place and even gets into the cat food that my Human leaves out for my Mama (cat) to eat. He’s always there early in the morning– every morning– and he’s always digging around all over the place.

I’ve even seen him run out in the street in front of cars, and it’s amazing the dude is still alive. He’s rather twitchy, too- and always chattering. And he never seems to get enough to eat! And he even chews us out when he doesn’t get what he wants!

I’ve even seen him “planting” random things in people’s yards around here- but nobody seems to mind.

I have to say, If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was a little- well, squirrelly.

I think he’s the strangest neighbor around here!

😹

Morning Coffee with Sushi

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One of these days, human. One of these days!

That Lunatic Can Opener did it again-

I’m really getting tired of this- every time I so much as sneeze the Can Opener takes me to the vet. Just because I’m older. I protest, but she does it anyway. I’m not sick, but again the other day she took me in for a shot. She said I was “due for a distemper booster” – and in spite of all my objections, she whisked me away anyhow- and on top of that she had them trim my beloved claws!

I don’t know what a “distempter” booster is, but it must have worked- because it definitely boosted my TEMPER! And this morning I’m still sore from that shot and yet the Can Opener still insists on picking me up to groom me. I smacked her a zillion times with my tail this morning, but that didn’t stop her from grooming me anyway. And now I’m exhausted and need a nap.

Actually, I do feel better since she groomed me, but I’ll never let her know it!

Leave me alone Mom. Wake me up when you buy sardines.

It’s Hairball Awareness Day!

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Photo by Gustavo Fring: https://www.pexels.com

Hairball Alert! Things you may not know!

Did you know that the largest hairball ever removed from a cat was 1.9 inches bigger than a Major League Baseball? Neither did I- But I can tell you I wouldn’t have wanted to see that baseball after they used it to measure the size of that hairball!

Quit scaring me, Twilight!

It sounds awful, but it’s true – (my guess was it was a mountain lion or something)- but still…

All cats get hairballs, and few people realize that rabbits and cattle can actually get them too! They are not only miserable, but they can cause serious problems for your cats.

Hairballs form because when cats groom themselves (which is all the time)- tiny little barbs on their tongues catch loose hair which they then swallow, and it winds up in their stomachs causing a lot of discomfort. (A cat’s tongue isn’t like those self-cleaning cat brushes, you know).

Now, certain cats are more susceptible- like Persians and Maine Coons- and usually the hair passes out safely without issue. But long-haired cats like these have them more often because their coats are longer and denser. Also, did you know cats are more prone to hairballs in the spring and summer? This is because cats are working hard to regulate their body temperature.

If your cat gets a hairball they can’t pass, it can result in a blockage that can threaten your cat’s life.

Signs to watch out for:

  • Coughing and hacking
  • Swallowing and licking their lips
  • Refusing to eat or take treats
  • Refusing to drink water
  • Refusing to groom

Prevention:

Spend time with your cats and pay attention to their normal habits – be alert to any changes in their appetite or grooming patterns. If you see anything that makes you suspect something isn’t right, don’t hesitate to call your vet. Keep your cat as comfortable as you can until you can get it help and keep noise and activity to a minimum as much as possible.

Brushing your cat is the best way to prevent hairballs- this is not only soothing to your cat, but increases circulation, relieves any itchiness, and at the same time removes loose hair before it reaches their tummy.

Stress can also be a cause of hairballs at times, since chewing and over grooming are things cats do when they feel stress- sort of like humans biting their nails. To help prevent hairballs because of stress over-grooming, set aside a little time each day to involve your cat in an activity they love.

There are also hairball preventing paw gels, supplements, and hairball formula cat foods for a little extra insurance. Here are a few examples we like:

Check these out to prevent the problem before it starts! And keep your eyes on your fur-babies’ normal habits so you’ll know right away if something is off.

For Cat’s Sake! Enough with the RAIN!

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Make the rain STOP!! There’s birds out there that need caught!

This rain really cramps my style!

It has been raining all. day. long! I tried to be a patient kitty, just watching the raindrops incessantly falling from my perch on top of the Can Opener’s desk- but after counting over 156,700,439 (and a half) raindrops, I finally gave up and decided to pick a “fight” with the Can Opener’s toes. Unfortunately, she never sits still long enough for that to be effective, so I have to look for another victim…. and here she is- all cozy on the couch, covered up with the Can Opener’s robe…

Thanks for my new robe, Human. You’re not allowed to use it anymore.

So, like any other cat in its right (bored) mind, I crept up to the couch, right up to the spot where Sushi’s tail was hanging (uncovered) over the edge of the couch, and gave her a quick, SWAT! (FOUR times in rapid succession).

Unfortunately, neither Sushi or the Can Opener had a sense of humor about it, and Sushi got mad and actually MOVED! Wow. Never thought I’d see that happen.

So finally, (probably just to save my life)- the Can Opener finally stopped messing around in the kitchen, got her 13th cup of coffee, and that dang phone of hers, and sat down and played with me in the rug.

It went something like this… (with Sushi glaring at me for daring to wake her up)….

After I went psycho for twenty minutes (Mom said I made Sheba look sweet and calm)- I was finally tired enough to eat a boatload of fancy feast and half a bag of treats. But again, the Human spoiled my day by saying “no- you don’t need that many treats.” I said I did. She said I didn’t.

I think we argued. She won, this time. But not for long…

She did it again…

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You’d better have a good excuse, Human.

We can’t believe she did it again.

I knew something was up as soon as she got out the laptop bag. I told Sushi, but Sushi thought I was crazy. But now she knows. Once again, after a purrfectly pawsome morning of cuddles and treats, right when we thought we had it made for the day, The Can Opener packed up and left for the Critters’ house.

This time because the Critters’ parents were going to be gone and instead of staying here, they were concerned about leaving our cousins, Serafina and Abby alone (after having started them on a wet food only diet). They didn’t want to have to leave them with dry food only and no one to give them their wet food.

I told them I could take care of the food- I can eat it all myself then they don’t have to worry about it-
but she went anyway.

Sushi thought she would be back in a few hours. Now it was my turn to tell her she’s crazy. But she still didn’t believe me until 9:00 when bedtime came around and the Can Opener wasn’t here to groom her and tuck her in. The lights didn’t get dimmed, the toys remained laying paralyzed in the floor, and the treats didn’t walk out and pour themselves into our mouths.

In case you haven’t guessed it yet, WE’RE PROTESTING!

AND THEN we heard the door open and got all excited until we noticed it wasn’t the Can Opener!

What did you do with our Can Opener! Bring her BACK!
Oh- it’s just you.

We were not happy. She had a couple of friends stopping by several times a day to make sure we were okay, and to let me out – but I didn’t go out because it rained the whole time! And I was afraid nobody would be here to let me in if I did go out. Of course, Sushi’s big fear was not being fed- as if missing a meal or two or fifteen wouldn’t hurt her.

Then we both realized the obvious- THE WHOLE THING WAS PLANNED!

And if that’s not bad enough- here’s the reason…. our spoiled cousins –

Her Royal Fleabag, Princess Abby
Serafina parked in front of the refrigerator in case the Can Opener forgot where they put it.

Of course, we were fed (but we’re not telling the Can Opener that), and her sister and her friend took really good care of us, and even gave Sushi her medicine and snuggles- but we don’t care, because it wasn’t OUR CAN OPENER! She did not fill out an application for our approval first, so therefore, there will be consequences….

That’ll teach her!