Sitting under my favorite bush so I can bask in the warm sunlight this morning while my Can Opener had her coffee and devotion. The morning is my favorite time of the day- because its quiet and the sun is just warm enough to feel good without being too hot, and the neighborhood is still peaceful. But then,…
She sure is a fussy thing. All I did was try to play. Geez! I think I’ll go look for someone else to play with!
In the evenings when it finally starts to cool off, I love to go outside and lay on the nice, warm sidewalk to enjoy the peace and quiet. Finally the critters have gone home, and the neighborhood screaming machines have been forced to go inside for the night and go to bed.
The neighbors with their loud grass eating machines and annoying sprinklers have finally gone inside and tv’s can be heard through the open windows. I can smell the mint and roses the human has all over the place, and there’s a big, fat strawberry on her plant that I plan to snatch the first chance I get.
Twilight rolls around on the sidewalk so her boyfriends know she’s outside, Sheba starts the mouse hunt, and I lounge and let the heat on the sidewalk make me sleepy. And suddenly-
That flipping human of ours decides to water the grass, and tomatoes and daisies, and everything else inthe yard- including ME!
If looks could kill, the Human would be a shriveled up piece of toast melting on the sidewalk. But I’m not that lucky. Twilight and Sheba were inspecting the lilac tree for possible mouse activity and they saw it coming and scattered. Again, I wasn’t that lucky.
Then I looked over my shoulder dripping wet, and Twilight and Sheba were snickering behind the bushes. Boy, are they gonna pay! I was too busy drying myself off to deal with the Human and those two mouse-hunters, but believe me, I will deal with them.
For now, I’m planning a special ‘surprise’ for the human in the morning- to pay her back for surprising me. For now, I’m getting some much needed rest after my cold shower.
Our human has been researching Siamese kitties. She is so in love with my (adorable) breed that she wants to do some posts about us, because we’re so smart and active, and talkative and entertaining she thinks everyone should have at least one siamese kitty.
When Sushi heard about this, she got jealous. “What’s wrong with me?” she asked. Well, nothing- but you’re not siamese. “I can be if I want to!” she said. Hmmmm. How does that work?
I tried to explain it all to her and she listened for a few minutes but then it was thundering and she ran away -(as fast as a boulder can run, that is). So I went to see where she was “running” to, and discovered it was only her food dish.
Yep. Her tummy growled and I thought it was thunder. My bad.
So, since today is Tuesday (still the start of the workweek for humans and they get all depressed about that)- I decided that today’s blog will be siamese cat memes! We siamese cats are great for relaxing our humans and giving them reasons to smile. So here we go!
Yesterday Sushi was sitting next to the Human on the front porch, and Sheba was laying next to her. That was okay, but then she crossed a line- she stood up and started marking our human and head-bunting her wanting love and snuggles! The Human thought it was sweet, but Sushi and I didn’t appreciate it at all!
Then I heard our Human sweet-talking Sheba and decided that had to stop, so I came running up to my Human to give her some snuggles of my own, and warn off Sheba. You’ll never believe me, probably, but Sheba saw me running up to love on MY HUMAN, and she growled and hissed at me, and swatted at me with both paws! She wasn’t going to let me get to our human or even go in my OWN HOUSE! *tail flap!* Awwww, HECKKKKKKK NO!
Our human picked me up, and hung me over her shoulder and started loving on me, and Sheba got mad- she went and laid down in the grass swishing her tail violently and kept giving me dirty looks. But then our human made Sushi and me so happy! She told Sheba that if she can’t “mind her manners,” she’ll have to go back home! Then she took me inside and gave me treats. (Sheba won’t mess with Sushi because Sushi could flatten her).
I made sure to sneer at Sheba over Mom’s shoulder when she took me inside and shoot her a warning look, and it made me feel so good that our human put her in her place. She keeps loving on our human because she knows we have treats- and her Mom is trying to cut her back on treats, because she won’t eat her food! What a rotten scheme!
So Sushi and I had a discussion with our human and she promised not to let Sheba have any of our treats no matter how sweet she acts.
There’s more to this story, but I’ll have to finish it tomorrow- our human is adjusting to a new Critter schedule starting tomorrow because their mom got a better job- so I have to get our human to give us our evening brushing and snuggles now before she shuts everything down for the night.
See- Sushi has already got my spot on the couch! Goodnight for now!
Since we hired you as our Can Opener, human, you were trained to be our perpetually available treat dispenser and can opener. Now we hear that you’re leaving today and aren’t going to be here for our evening treats, whipped cream and tuna dispensary. Or, for our breakfast and lunch tomorrow.
WHAT THE FLEA ARE YOU THINKING?
So, you’re going to be with the Critters and their parents…again? The last time you went over there, you came back smelling like Serafina and Abby. Did you feed them while you were there? We can smell it on you, you know!
I know you make sure we’re taken care of, but here’s the deal- you’re OUR Can Opener! And besides, we miss you when you’re gone! So pardon us while we guilt trip you for leaving us here alone while you Feast and play games with your critters. Feeling guilty yet???
Mom’s always telling us to play nice. I don’t think so!
I happen to know that when Mom buys a new toy for us, she means it for both of us. But Sushi hogs it all to herself from the moment it’s delivered and she sniffs it out.
I don’t know why, but this thing has Sushi so captivated she won’t let me play with it unless she’s asleep on the bed and she doesn’t know it. The rest of the time she guards the thing like it’s her life. She will even lay on it when she’s done playing, and then growl when the Can Opener picks it up off the floor.
And the worst part is, the Can Opener lets her get by with it because “the vet said she needs to lose weight.” *HMPF!*
And she said it’s the first toy she’s used with Sushi that actually gets her MOVING. Even the vacuum cleaner won’t make her move. Mom could roll it right over her back and she’d lay there sleeping.
But I want my turn with that toy- so I think I’ll try a trick of my own to get her moving. There’s a big dog down the street holding a sign that says “will bark for food”- I’ll swap him a can of Fancy Feast to come chase Sushi, and maybe that’ll get her moving….right out the door!
Then that toy will be all mine. And I’ll lose 16.3 pounds! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!