Category Archives: Cattitude

The Sushi Diet: Day 1

Did I hear a can open?

I was feeling great this morning. Then I woke up.

And I remembered the Vet wanted me on a diet. I thought I was on a diet. A very nice one, actually- food on demand (MY demand). Treats several times a day just because I’m cute. And because the critters come over and beg to feed me treats -(they’re my secret agents). The diet I was on was very satisfying. High protein dry food with all the good stuff- a variety of very expensive tiny cans of deliciousness- and a few hundred treats a day.

I didn’t see anything wrong with it. So imagine my surprise this morning when I didn’t get the usual amount of food in my dish, and I wasn’t offered my morning appetizer of treats… I looked at the human for clues- and she reminded me the vet said I had to go on a diet.

I kept trying to reason with her, but she had made up her mind. So I gave her a stern warning, and we’ll see tomorrow if she gets to keep her job.

More tomorrow. For now, it’s not looking good for her.


Thursday Therapy (I need it).

What a dirty, rotten trick. That dang human.

Today I was sound asleep on the bed and the Can Opener came in and loved on me and spoke really super sweetly to me- and picked me up and I was loving it. Then she walked me into the living room and put me in my carrier, and said she was taking me to the vet!

It scared me. I know she’s taken me to the vet before, but that carrier brings back bad memories for me. In the past, (before I came here with my new humans), every time I had to go into that thing I was left with a stranger for a long time. With no toys, and no warm laps- (except for the last person who brought me here). And I never knew how long I’d be there, or what would happen next, or whether I’d be okay or something would happen to me.

And I know my humans love me- but still- I’m always afraid they’ll take me someplace and leave me and I’ll never see them again.

Now that it’s over, I know she did it to make sure I’m healthy. But now, I had to get something called a steroid shot! That hurt! And, the human asked them to give me medicine to put in my eyes every day, and even though I’ve gone down from 16.9 lbs last year, to 16.3 today, the vet says I need a diet! That’s a four-letter-word! That’s not nice at all.

And then, guess what? I heard the Can Opener tell them that she’d already started giving me smaller portions a little more spread out during the day for the last several months! HOW RUDE!

Hey- that’s probaby why I lost those precious few ounces! I WANT MY OUNCES BACK!!

I’ll tell her tomorrow. I’m going to sleep. Goodnight.

Twilight’s Tuesday Thanks

Man, this is a NICE bed.

We all have things to be thankful for – Here’s some of mine:

With things going crazy like they have been for months now, my humans keep saying that it’s more important than ever to look for the blessings in our lives and be thankful for what we have.

Here’s some of the things I’m really REALLY thankful for:


  • Sushi (yep). She has proven that mountains REALLY CAN move.
  • Coffee and the Bible. Yep. That’s the only thing that the Can Opener slows down for.
  • The Can Opener. That’s because she and the Backup Can Opener gave me a home when I was just a little kitten and was always hungry and cold. Now I’m spoiled rotten and I plan on keeping it that way.
  • The Critters. They lavish love and treats on me every time they’re here, and they don’t care if I’ve already been fed or have already had “too many treats.”
  • Bugs, Birds, Butterflies, and Mice. They give me something to chase and play with when the Can Opener is too busy with everyone else to play.
  • Amazon boxes. Amazon was made for cats. Cats love boxes- Amazon sends my food in boxes. Human adds thick, soft blanket and sticks it under the bed, and *poof!* Instant hiding spot when the Critters come.
  • Paper bags. Another great hiding place and fun to pounce on!
  • Sushi. (Again). Everyone needs someone to play fight with- (but she’s not usually playing).

And I’m thankful for all of you who visit my blog every day! You make me very happy!


"I leave the gift of peace with you-- my peace. 
Not the kind of fragile peace given by the world, 
but my perfect peace.
Don't yield to fear or be troubled in your hearts-
instead, be courageous!"       John 14:27

Monday Morning Cattitude

photo by Ellie Bergen (pexels)

Good Morning. Or should I say, “Mourning?” After all, it is MONDAY again.

Sushi’s about to come into the room and claim my Can Opener’s lap again, so I’m going to hunt down my mama and then go duck hunting by the stream. Just knowing that Sushi’s going to hog my human for the next hour puts me in a grumpy mood, so I looked up some other felines who are in a grumpy mood and they brightened my morning. Maybe they’ll brighten yours a little too.

I hope all you cat moms out there (Human and feline) had a great Mother’s day. Every Mother deserves to be recognized and rewarded for their efforts in caring for their little ones (human or feline). No one realizes how hard they work – unless they are Moms themselves. Purrs to all you Moms!




I want a Refund!

Where do I go to get a refund on my day?

My kingdom got infested with CRITTERS… and that was just the beginning!

I stayed inside this morning when the Can Opener got up at 4- because I stayed out late last night to hunt with my Mama. A handsome siamese from a few blocks away keeps coming over and stalking me even though I tell him I’m not that kind of girl. Last night, my Mama came and the Can Opener fed her and a few minutes after she went back inside, he growled at my Mama because he wanted her food! Lucky for Mama and me, the Can Opener heard it and came out and chewed him out for messing with “her babies!”

Well, that was last night. So since our playtime and hunting was interrupted, I stayed out later, so when the Can Opener woke up at 4 this morning, I wanted to sleep.

But, Instead of waking up slowly with her coffee and her Bible and journal, this time the human started cleaning out the refrigerator and freezer, and I got nervous (I have 4 open cans of food in there and I didn’t want her to throw it out)! I decided to stay inside and figure out what was wrong with her.

Then the Critters came bursting through the door and all of a sudden the human decided to start breakfast way too early. We were studying her wondering what happened.

Cats don’t like routine changes- or infestations in their kingdom.

Immediately after breakfast, we discovered why our whole morning had been turned upside down. There was a grocery delivery that suddenly appeared right as the Can Opener had finished cleaning up after breakfast.

Then, she turned the Critters loose to go run outside and ruin my kingdom! They slid on my slide, and played in MY tunnel, and swung on my swing and then put huge PUDDLES OF WATER everywhere that sprayed water out on me and got me wet! Not only that, they scared my Mama away from coming to play with me on the playset! And, another Critter came to chase the Tiny One around and play ball with her- so, I had to go back inside to stay dry, and avoid getting hit by a flying ball (or airplane).

Right when I thought it was safe,…THE VET!

Then, the next thing I knew, the Critters were picked up – and SO WAS I! I was put in my carrier and the Can Opener took me to the vet to rattle me a little more. I was poked, prodded, had my claws trimmed, my ears and mouth stared into, a thermometer put in a very inconvenient place, and then, I got TWO SHOTS and was surrounded by big, barking dogs on my way out the door! All I want to know, is how do I get my money back for this day?

*Just you wait, human. I’ve got a nice BIG Mother’s Day surprise waiting for you!*

All Better and Back to Mischief…

There goes my nice, quiet sunbath.

With Sheba Helping

The Can Opener and Sushi were just flat delighted to have those two – legged Critters back here today. I don’t know what’s wrong with them. For a pair of Critters that were sick last week, they sure as heck seem ready to take on the world. Or, at least my little patch of it anyway.

And of course, Sheba had to help them ruin my nice, quiet sunbathing session.
When the Tiny Critter wanted to get on the little slide, Sheba decided it was HER turn.

Then they ran toward the swingset armed with Outshine Bars ready to drip on everything they touched. I stayed out of the way, safely under the bush.

Look! There’s Sheba!

I thought if Sheba was in her right mind, she’d steer clear of them too- but apparently Sheba is as crazy as a flipping loon. The next thing I knew they were squealing with delight while Sheba chased them and climbed all over the swingset swatting at them and chasing the big Critter who kept teasing her.

Then Sheba had to prove her ownership of the swingset- by climbing all the way up to the top to try to snag the Big Critter’s hair. They all thought she was playing- but I think Sheba had sinister plans…

Then, as if right on cue, it suddenly started raining- (no rain in the forecast)- and they had to go inside. I could’ve sworn I saw Sheba give me a paws up as they hurried in out of the rain.

Nice Plan, Sheba. Maybe you’re not so crazy after all.


Counseling with the Human

(not me, HER).

Image by naobim from Pixabay

This morning the Can Opener was needing counseling- so I volunteered.

Go ahead – keep talking (just don’t stop brushing).

She was waking up (slowly) and drinking her coffee and Sushi was laying at her feet on the bed snoring. That’s why she needed counseling. Sushi sounded like she was evolving into some sort of prehistoric sea-creature and the human was getting freaked out. That’s MY version, anyway, and I’m not changing it.

But when Sushi heard her start talking to me, and woke up to notice that I was sitting on a pillow in the Can Opener’s lap getting spoiled, she didn’t appreciate it, and turned around and swatted me!

So I got down from the pillow and let her have it! Sushi tried to sit up and pounce on me, but boulders aren’t very good at pouncing, so I just laid down at eye level with her and gave her, shall we say, some COUNSELING.

Sushi doesn’t believe in counseling. Apparently neither does the human, because she just started taking pictures. That figures.

Leave me alone, flea.

That worked out fine- because she got up and left. Leaving me free to take her spot on the bed with the human!

It worked! I got the best spot!

Sheba is getting on our LAST nerve!

We’ve got to come up with a plan, Twilight.

I was feeling all better today, because our Can Opener prayed for me last night and then gave me some Lysine paw gel and spoiled me all night. I was feeling great this morning- and then, she opened the back door to let Twilight out, and that psycho cat next door (Sheba) came racing into the kitchen, and went straight to my dish!

That Psycho has to go, kid.

Tell me about it! She chased away my breakfast!
That’s not a nice thing to say about your neighbor- and anyway, I saw that bird first!

Sorry, it’s not to your liking, Your Highness…

The “Queen” wasn’t impressed with the Fancy Feast in my dish, and sat at the dish complaining to our human, demanding tuna. When the Can Opener refused to open a can for her (because she already has 30 open cans in the fridge for me and Twilight)- and, because she’s not our cat, Sheba growled and swatted at her and bolted out the back door!

I DID NOT! I JUST OBJECTED GENTLY.
YOU and your conspiracy theories!

And right before that, Twilight had been outside and Sheba chased away her (targeted) bird! HOW RUDE! Now Sheba will deny it, but tell me- if that’s not true “Queen Sheba,” why was there a limp bird and feathers on your Mom’s front porch today??

Sheba…? Hello?

She left, Sushi. Let’s eat.

Great idea! Hurry, before she comes back!


How to Train Your Humans

Welcome to Lesson 11

How To Hide what you do Outside

Greetings Fellow felines. Twilight here. Welcome to Lesson 11 of How to Train Your Humans. Today I’m going to give you some tips to help you hide your outdoor activites from those nosy pet humans of yours.


If you’re like most cats, you tend to get into a little trouble now and then when your humans finally decide to let you go out and roam freely. Some humans don’t worry about what you may be doing- others get really paranoid that you may do something to upset their neighbors. You know, like maybe using their flowerbeds for a litterbox.

A few helpful tips…

Now, of course, I know none of my readers do that sort of thing, however tempting it may be… but let’s just pretend for a little bit, that one day you’re out enjoying the sun and you suddenly have to use the litterbox. Well, your litterbox may be several houses away- (or even a few blocks away, if you’re having a really great day). What do you do? Do you try to hold it until you mosey on down a few blocks to your litterbox _(where you may discover it’s been polluted by your housemate)? Or, like any sane cat, are you going to look for a nice, well-kept, fragrant flowerbed? That’s what I thought.

Image by F. Muhammad from Pixabay

First, if you see a dog in your chosen yard, forget it. They’ll sound the alarm and the next thing you know, the flipping marines will be hunting for you.

Look for a nice, fragrant flowerbed with plenty of hiding places.

Image by teeale from Pixabay

Here’s an example of a great place! It even has a surprise cat treat!! *(see squirrel peeking out)*!

Now, those pesky humans aren’t all that patient about their hard work being messed up – but let’s look at it this way. You’ve got to go someplace, right? And even humans like a nicely fragranced clean “litterbox.” The trick is to get in and out quickly without being discovered – this is especially important if the owner of the yard is grumpy.

One more thing- don’t forget to watch out for those tiny two-legged critters. If there’s one of them around, it’ll be your luck they’ll see you and alert everyone before you can even choose a spot.

Feel bad about doing that in someone’s flower bed? Well, if you’re a conscientious cat, and you feel bad about it, look at it this way- You’re helping them by fertilizing their garden for them! Just think of all the money you’ll save them on fertilizer by the end of the year. And they’re helping you too, By relieving you of the necessity to stop sunbathing to run home to your litterbox. Sounds fair to me!

And, even if you get caught, you just may be lucky enough to find the owner of the flowerbed will be a crazy old cat lady who cares more about cats than her flowers, and you never know- she just may even come out and offer you tuna! Especially if you give her the big, sad (scared) eyes, and meow like you haven’t eaten in a century. It’s worth a try, right?

But if that fails, run like the lightening, fly into your house and pretend to be asleep- that way if the neighbor complains, you can pretend you know nothing about it, and your human will think they’ve confused you with another cat! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Remember to pretend to SNORE if they come looking for you!