Aren’t I cute? I’m absolutely adorable, and I know it because every neighbor around here tells me all the time. Today I visited Twilight and Sushi’s house -(they have the best food, and the Can Opener doesn’t yell at me and chase me away like some of the other neighbors). A lot of the neighbors around here are trying to help find out where I belong- if I’m lost or something.
But I keep telling them where I belong! Right HERE on Twilight’s throne! The problem is, Twilight and Sushi disagree and the Can Opener listens to them, not me. So I have to convince the Can Opener that I’m cuter than them.
So far I’m not having much luck. And the big one looks like she could eat me- so I’m kind of nervous, but the food is great in the neighborhood- and sooner or later, somebody is going to adopt me!
Our human Can Opener is doing well, but has been busy cleaning up a big mess in the kitchen for the last two days. That’s because there was a bad problem under the kitchen sink, and the management is installing a new kitchen sink and new countertops- and the human is delighted about that- but not too crazy about all the dust and sawdust that seems to find its way all over everything no matter how hard the workers (and she) works to keep it at bay.
Today she was coughing constantly (while they were working)- but she’s not sick. So after they left, she declared war on the dust- she has been cleaning ever since they left today. She did the same thing yesterday too. But they’re coming back to “finish up” tomorrow!
I’ve been calling to her to stop and baby me, and let me tell you, if I had a treat for every time she said to me yesterday and today, “Okay Sushi- give me a few more minutes…” I’d be sitting on a mountain of treats higher than Mount Everest!
Twilight and I had a discussion today- (well, I talked, she slept)… but still- as soon as she wakes up, we’re going to put a stop to all this cleaning, because we want our cuddles and our routine back more than the Can Opener wants her kitchen back, and everything put back where it belongs. Any ideas?
Mom, why is it I’m on a diet, but not Twilight? Look what she did to my box! She slept in it and flattened the whole side of it! And left her fur all over my favorite green blankie.
Now when I want to go hide under my bed, I have half a box left! Now I’m going to go flatten her box, and leave my fur on her favorite blankie- but you need to order me a new box, okay? And how about washing my blankie, so I don’t get her fur all over me…I don’t want Smokey making fun of me about this- It’ll ruin my reputation.
And hurry up, with that new box order, okay? She’ll come flying in any minute now and try to take it over again unless you distract her with treats. By the way- where are those treats? I want to get my share before the little flea sucks them all up on her way to my box.
I haven’t posted a lesson for you would-be respectable cats for a while, because I’ve had my paws full around here with the critters, Sushi, and the would-be feline home invader, Smokey.
But he got me thinking… of course, if he is lost, or was left behind by a family who moved out, he needs a home, and cuddles, and food- and of course, flea treatment (for the love of Ceiling Cat, PLEASE)!
But whether a cat moves in to a home by manipulation (Smokey is good at that)- or by invitation, a respectable cat still needs to know how to train his “owners.”
Now, Smokey hasn’t been adopted (but he sure is trying)- because the Can Opener has her paws full already -(and the whole neighborhood loves him and wants him).
But for you cats who are adopted, here are a few pointers you help you train your “owners” to your specifications.
For one, help them “Catify” the house to your liking….
And make sure you tell them how to fix your castle to your liking…
The Can Opener told me this morning that I’m the cutest tortie in the world- and you know? I think she has a point! She especially loves my green eyes and my white paws- (she has a thing for paws)- but she also loves what she calls my “cattitude!”
I’m glad she likes cattitude, because I’m loaded with it! I also love these other kitties who think just like I do- with CATTITUDE!
She had it coming! That crazy psycho cat that belongs to the Can Opener’s sister has been asking for trouble for a year now. She slithers into my house anytime she feels like it, and hops up on my cat tree- and sits in MY bedroom window, and snoops around looking for MY treats and demands food from MY human- she does this because her Mom and our Can Opener are sisters-
She has always been free to come in my house, and I was always free to go into her house before- but that was before she saw me let her Mom pet me. Ever since then, if the Can Opener goes to her sisters house, and I follow her, slithering Sheba, sneaks up to me and growls and chases me off! Sometimes, even when she comes into my house she tries to chase me out- that’s when I see a side of the Can Opener that I never knew existed….Nothing gets her dander up like messing with me or Sushi! Or her two-legged Critters.
She puts little Miss Slither-Butt in her place right away, and lets her know she can’t come in our house if she’s going to growl at me or Sushi- (oddly enough, Sushi just looks at her, and Sheba runs out)- I can’t figure out why she never bothers Sushi- unless maybe because She doesn’t know how to chase a mountain.
But I got enough of Miss Slither-Butt today- and when the Can Opener went to see her sister I followed her, prepared for a battle. Lucky for me, Slither-Butt was out someplace- (I don’t like a fight)- so I took adavantage of the opportunity to “repay” her Royal Hiney.
I let her Mom pet me all she wanted (to make sure when she pet Sheba again, MY scent will be all over her Mom)!!!!! 😹 And then, I played with all her toys (she has some fun toys- hint, hint, Mom)!
I stopped my busy napping schedule to pop in on you and see how you’re all doing. The Can Opener has been (thinking) she’s getting me used to the eye medicine she keeps abusing me with three times a day (in league with the vet). But I actually have her eating out of my adorable little paw.
What she doesn’t realize is that I’m pretending I don’t mind because in spite of all my efforts, she still manages to get that nasty stuff in both my eyes. I still hate it. But I know that if I act all sweet and compliant, she’ll praise me in the manner I truly deserve and load me up with treats as soon as she’s done.
Then, (thinking I’m all upset and that my eyes possibly sting when she’s done)- she decides that’s the purrfect time to “calm me down” by giving me a nice, long, brushing session with my favorite brush.
Of course, I have my tricks to make her stretch it out as long as possible, until she HAS to do something else… some completely useless thing like, oh, I don’t know… cleaning, or laundry, or cooking, or watching those Critters, or helping her sister, or checking her mail, or going to the doctor- or, exercising- just those trivial things that can’t possibly compare with the honor of taking care of adorable little me.
She assures me that soon we won’t need to “do this” anymore- so then I’ll have to come up with another plan to keep her under control. But for now- I’ll let her think she’s winning, and steal her spot the minute she gets up!
One of a cats’ major complaints is having not having enough interaction and playtime with their human pets. Another complaint is not having enough (acceptable) toys to play with. This results in a bored (and slightly ticked) cat.
This is unacceptable for the serious cat. But our Can Openers are so preoccupied with working, keeping their two-legged critters out of trouble- (good luck with that)- shopping, and all that other boring human stuff that they don’t realize how stressed and maybe even hissed their feline bosses are.
When the humans are away, it’s vital to have some great toys to play with. Most humans don’t think about the fact that unlike them, we don’t usually have video games, iPhones and social media to keep us entertained when we get bored- and even a cat can only sleep so long.
In this picture, some of my pals show us what they do for fun when their humans forget to provide stimulating toys – They also share their toilet tissue review.
Sometimes if you’re lucky, one of those two-legged critters will leave something sitting on the counter in the kitchen that a bored cat can help themselves to when no one is looking.
With a little luck, it could be something really fun- like eggs – these are great to push off the counter. They aren’t toys, but there’s a very satisfying crack / thud when they hit the floor. And, when they break, you get a hefty snack!
Another fun idea is to check out other spaces in the kitchen- (not every human is thoughtful enough to leave eggs or butter on the counter). That’s why you need critters.
Picachu here has learned how to open the fridge. This could lead to a whole world of fun and food -(think Garfield’s lasagna)!
Or, you could just hide your trophies in there to surprise your favorite human!
P.S. You could always help the hamster escape too. Just to be kind. 😹