I stopped my busy napping schedule to pop in on you and see how you’re all doing. The Can Opener has been (thinking) she’s getting me used to the eye medicine she keeps abusing me with three times a day (in league with the vet). But I actually have her eating out of my adorable little paw.
What she doesn’t realize is that I’m pretending I don’t mind because in spite of all my efforts, she still manages to get that nasty stuff in both my eyes. I still hate it. But I know that if I act all sweet and compliant, she’ll praise me in the manner I truly deserve and load me up with treats as soon as she’s done.
Then, (thinking I’m all upset and that my eyes possibly sting when she’s done)- she decides that’s the purrfect time to “calm me down” by giving me a nice, long, brushing session with my favorite brush.
Of course, I have my tricks to make her stretch it out as long as possible, until she HAS to do something else… some completely useless thing like, oh, I don’t know… cleaning, or laundry, or cooking, or watching those Critters, or helping her sister, or checking her mail, or going to the doctor- or, exercising- just those trivial things that can’t possibly compare with the honor of taking care of adorable little me.
She assures me that soon we won’t need to “do this” anymore- so then I’ll have to come up with another plan to keep her under control. But for now- I’ll let her think she’s winning, and steal her spot the minute she gets up!
One of a cats’ major complaints is having not having enough interaction and playtime with their human pets. Another complaint is not having enough (acceptable) toys to play with. This results in a bored (and slightly ticked) cat.
This is unacceptable for the serious cat. But our Can Openers are so preoccupied with working, keeping their two-legged critters out of trouble- (good luck with that)- shopping, and all that other boring human stuff that they don’t realize how stressed and maybe even hissed their feline bosses are.
When the humans are away, it’s vital to have some great toys to play with. Most humans don’t think about the fact that unlike them, we don’t usually have video games, iPhones and social media to keep us entertained when we get bored- and even a cat can only sleep so long.
In this picture, some of my pals show us what they do for fun when their humans forget to provide stimulating toys – They also share their toilet tissue review.
Sometimes if you’re lucky, one of those two-legged critters will leave something sitting on the counter in the kitchen that a bored cat can help themselves to when no one is looking.
With a little luck, it could be something really fun- like eggs – these are great to push off the counter. They aren’t toys, but there’s a very satisfying crack / thud when they hit the floor. And, when they break, you get a hefty snack!
Another fun idea is to check out other spaces in the kitchen- (not every human is thoughtful enough to leave eggs or butter on the counter). That’s why you need critters.
Picachu here has learned how to open the fridge. This could lead to a whole world of fun and food -(think Garfield’s lasagna)!
Or, you could just hide your trophies in there to surprise your favorite human!
P.S. You could always help the hamster escape too. Just to be kind. 😹
It’s springtime- and with spring comes kitty litters! Freshly brewed cute, adorable, clueless kitties who have no idea how to grow into a respectable cat. That’s why they need me to teach them!
We cats are highly intelligent and resourceful, but a baby anything needs to be shown how to grow and thrive- and most importantly, how to rule their humans. Remember- we were once worshipped in Egypt.
So, kittens- (and cats who need a refresher course) – First, remember that humans are suckers for a cute little kitty face. Look up at them adoringly, making sure your eyes are big and innocent – (that way they won’t suspect you when you’re naughty). 😹
Next, remember to respond when they babble “talk” to you so they think you’re listening to the rules. This will increase your chances of being adopted because you’ll appear to be “trainable.”
Once you’ve convinced them you’re and adorable little innocent angel, and you get adopted you can start practicing training them!
If you practice enough, you can have them feeding you treats just because you’re cute!
If there are loud, two-legged Creatures who live in your new home, make friends with them quickly. Be sure to follow them around and sleep with them at night. Why?
1.) They have lots of toys. They like to play.
2.) They eat constantly. And they leave crumbs everywhere.
3.) They’ll leave the butter on the counter.
4.) They’ll grow up to be extra Can Openers.
5.) They’ll defend you when you do wrong.
Sooner or later they’ll decide to bathe you (it’s the grown-up human version of playing with Barbie dolls).
Just a heads up- Once you let them do this, it’s all over. They’ll think you like it and will insist on doing it for the rest of your pathetic life.
For the love of Ceiling Cat, DON’T let them do it. This is your cue to use your God-given weapons.
Teeth and CLAWS.
Now go practice on your un-suspecting humans and I’ll be back again soon with more lessons. ❤️☕💚
When I heard the knock at the door, I darted under the bed, because it was a hard, loud knock- but a few seconds later after the Can Opener answered the door, I smelled something delicious coming from that big box. It was more of my favorite food! But then, when the bag came out, there were big sheets of pawsome brown paper inside (I LOVE CRINKLY PAPER)- And before the Can Opener walked away with the food, I pounced into the box to try it out!
I claimed it immediately! Then I hinted at the Can Opener to put some more tissue paper in it and the next thing I knew, I was having the time of my life!
Sushi, however, isn’t impressed with the box- (she has her own favorite)- So I had fun circling under the flaps of the box and swiping at my favorite wand toy (with all the pretty bows that I just can’t seem to untie- yet) … Give me time, and I’ll untie every one of those pretty bows!
Sushi on the other hand, was just watching the show. And bathing. And bathing. And BATHING…
I just can’t believe cats ever misbehave, because I know I’m such an angel… no, really! I don’t ever fight with other cats at all- (I just smack Twilight when she insists on pawing at me to make me play when I don’t want to) – but that’s not naughty- that’s discipline! These young twerps these days just don’t like to take “no” for an answer!
I also notice Sheba’s naughtiness- she keeps her Mom up all night long and won’t let her sleep- and every time Twilight follows our human when she goes next door to visit her sister, that crazy Sheba hisses and fluffs up her tail and chases Twilight out of the house! Even when Sheba comes here, she tries to chase Twilight off her own cat tree! But Sheba won’t mess with me, because I’ll eat her. (Not misbehaving- I just have a great appetite)!
I even hear that some cats eat houseplants – (a vegan CAT?), and some attack toes- (Twilight, are you listening)? And others poop outside the litterbox! I never do these things because I’m a good cat – but from what I hear, these things can really upset the humans and cause some problems. So I decided maybe I should pass on the video my Can Opener found while doing research to help her sister not to be so fur-rustrated with Sheba.
Check this out- maybe it’ll help you or someone you know who has a very mischievous cat!
Just remember you heard it from Sushi- the good cat!
I’m really getting tired of this- every time I so much as sneeze the Can Opener takes me to the vet. Just because I’m older. I protest, but she does it anyway. I’m not sick, but again the other day she took me in for a shot. She said I was “due for a distemper booster” – and in spite of all my objections, she whisked me away anyhow- and on top of that she had them trim my beloved claws!
I don’t know what a “distempter” booster is, but it must have worked- because it definitely boosted my TEMPER! And this morning I’m still sore from that shot and yet the Can Opener still insists on picking me up to groom me. I smacked her a zillion times with my tail this morning, but that didn’t stop her from grooming me anyway. And now I’m exhausted and need a nap.
Leave me alone Mom. Wake me up when you buy sardines.
Cats love Caturday. Unless their humans leave them alone all day, or they have a bazillion creatures running around tearing the house apart, throwing things, screaming and shredding the drapes – (before you get the chance), or putting their grubby little fingers in the cat food, and dumping out your water. That might stress a cat out – just a little.
When a cat has to deal with things like that, they might show some signs of being a little hissed off. They might misbehave a little bit- or just plain lose it altogether…
And especially if there are little critters running around in the house with their playmates, your cat might get slightly exhausted from all the chaos and just drop into a coma…
But if they don’t drop into a coma or lose their minds, they may decide to spend some time problem solving…
Or use their Caturdays to settle a score…
Whatever you humans have planned for your Caturday, better make sure your cat is happy too!