Our human woke up with pain in her back- so she got her coffee and sat down on her bed with her nice, warm heat wrap to lean against while she groomed me this morning.
At least that was her plan. But she made the mistake of leaving the wrap on the bed right next to me, so I decided to make sure it stayed nice and toasty until she came back.
I never said I would give it back. When she came back with her coffee and sat on the bed, she got comfy then noticed her wrap had disappeared. I pretended to be asleep so she wouldn’t take it from me.
I had no idea a heated pillow would feel so heavenly. I couldn’t help kneading my paws into it as I drifted off to sleep. Anyway, it wasn’t my fault that it was so warm and fuzzy and smelled like lavender. But right when I was thinking how nice it was that she let me rest on it, she decided she needed it, and woke me up by taking it away.
I was just about to object loudly, when I noticed that she had something in her hand that wasn’t coffee- treats! Well, they aren’t warm and fuzzy, but they’re delicious- so I settled and let her have it back.
Twilight and I decided last night that I’m the cutest.
Just don’t tell her I said so. By the time we came to that decision, I was tired of talking and fell asleep leaving her to talk to whatever mice she might find. I mean, really, I don’t see the point of the discussion anyway. Some things are just facts that can’t be disputed. One of these days, she’ll finally quit arguing with me.
Speaking of cute cats, I decided since it’s Caturday, it’s time so share some other cute cats- since nobody can look at cats for long without smiling. It’s a good way to start the day. You’re welcome.
My human got a new cat bed for “us!” (But Sushi’s not getting it- I was here first)!
I came in and saw a new surprise all set up just for cute little ME! I was so happy, since Sushi the Brat Cat claimed my boppy that the Can Opener keeps on her desk so I can sleep by her while she’s working at her desk.
See? The big, round, comfy pillow she’s laying on was all MINE until the barge came along and stole it. Did I try to get it back? Does a cat have whiskers? YES I DID. But that thing is bigger than a ship and she could flatten me with no more effort than a horse needs to knock a fly away with his tail.
But I saw the new bed first- and of course, I immediately rubbed my scent all over it, walked through it, walked on top of it, and deposited enough of my fur to make a polar bear blush.
Did that matter to the mountain? No. After I left my scent, my fur and my pawprints (literally) all over it, I gave Mom tons of head butts and snuggles to thank her for it and ran outside to tell my Mama.
And later, when I came back inside to enjoy my new bed, I saw this…
The Tiny Critter had put my snake and my kicker toy inside the bed before her nap. And I came in to discover that Sushi not only stole my bed, but also my toys!
Today is a beautiful, warm Caturday. A nice, cool breeze, lots of sunshine, no 2-legged noise machines roaring by on scooters with music blaring from their iphones, no noisy lawnmowers, or chatty neighbors gathering to steal my human’s attention- everything is perfectly lined up for a long, cozy nap.
Well, it was anyway. The sun got a little too bright for Sushi and me, so we retreated to the Can Openers’ bed for a nice, long nap. And then, the paparazzi decided it was a great time to snap a few pictures and wake us up. We were not pleased.
That’s when I realized it was time to post another lesson for you poor unfortunate cats who can’t control those annoying humans.
If you want to be taken seriously as a cat, and get the respect of your pet humans, there are a few rules that need to be followed.
1.) MAKE IT UNATTRACTIVE FOR THEM TO DISTURB YOURNAPS. This is beautifully illustrated by my friend, Spooky.
2.) DON’T LET THEM DRESS YOU LIKE THEY DID ME.
I could’ve stopped them, but I allowed it just this once for the purpose of illustrating my point. Humans think it’s “cute” to dress us up for their selfish habit of taking pictures of us to post online. If they try to do this to you, do what Sushi does at the vet. It’s called “the Alligator roll.” Here it’s nicely illustrated by a random alligator. Sushi has mastered it.
3.) Don’t sleep in the pots and pans. (Unless they have meat in them- and aren’t turned on).
I have more rules to give you, but Sushi and I are going to try again for our naps. They better not interrupt us this time, or the claws will come out!
In the evenings when it finally starts to cool off, I love to go outside and lay on the nice, warm sidewalk to enjoy the peace and quiet. Finally the critters have gone home, and the neighborhood screaming machines have been forced to go inside for the night and go to bed.
The neighbors with their loud grass eating machines and annoying sprinklers have finally gone inside and tv’s can be heard through the open windows. I can smell the mint and roses the human has all over the place, and there’s a big, fat strawberry on her plant that I plan to snatch the first chance I get.
Twilight rolls around on the sidewalk so her boyfriends know she’s outside, Sheba starts the mouse hunt, and I lounge and let the heat on the sidewalk make me sleepy. And suddenly-
That flipping human of ours decides to water the grass, and tomatoes and daisies, and everything else inthe yard- including ME!
If looks could kill, the Human would be a shriveled up piece of toast melting on the sidewalk. But I’m not that lucky. Twilight and Sheba were inspecting the lilac tree for possible mouse activity and they saw it coming and scattered. Again, I wasn’t that lucky.
Then I looked over my shoulder dripping wet, and Twilight and Sheba were snickering behind the bushes. Boy, are they gonna pay! I was too busy drying myself off to deal with the Human and those two mouse-hunters, but believe me, I will deal with them.
For now, I’m planning a special ‘surprise’ for the human in the morning- to pay her back for surprising me. For now, I’m getting some much needed rest after my cold shower.
This morning started out perfectly. The Can Opener finally slept well (since the TMJ started) – and took her coffee outside with me so we could listen to the chatter of the birds (even though she won’t let me catch one), and she could enjoy the pretty flowers and pick some raspberries, while I soaked up the sun.
It’s still early, and Twilight’s out someplace with her Mama. She’s trying to impress her Mama (cat) with her hunting abilities. The Human still has the annoying headache she’s had for three days now. But she’s starting to feel a little better- and I’m starting to put Sheba in her place, so she doesn’t harass me and swat at me like she does everyone else. I think it’s a good thing I’m bigger than her, because she knows I can flatten her if I have to.
Twilight has been running around with Romeo again. Oh joy.
Somehow she thinks I want to hear all about her romance with Romeo, the siamese down the street. I could care less. Now, if she wants to tell me about a handsome calico cat, or a persian, I might want to hear about it. But I’m not interested in her boyfriend and his “purrfect royal blue eyes.” Geez.
We more experienced felines are more concerned about the important things in life- like food, catnip, treats, and the best napping spots in the house.
We’re different. She loves to run wild outside, chase mice and butterflies, climb trees and hunt ducks.
I love a nice, warm lap to nap on. Especially if it comes with a nice long grooming, a massage on my head and shoulders, followed by treats, and accompanied by a teddy bear with a blanket tucked around me.
I’d rather melt into the Can Opener’s lap and purr myself to sleep any day. Oh! It’s time for my grooming now! Goodnight!