
But Mom- we don’t want a dog.
Here’s why- Twilight doesn’t want a dog because they make too much noise and they’re bigger than her. And they’ll eat out of our litterbox, and they’ll bark and give us fleas, and steal your attention from US, and they’ll eat our food- and steal your attention from us, and I don’t want a dog because, well- it’s a D.O.G.
And, in case I forgot to mention it, they’ll STEAL YOUR ATTENTION FROM US. And they’ll beg for your food when you eat (worse than I do)- and they’ll get the kids all hyper and they’ll steal my spot on the couch, and they’ll eat Twilight’s bed, and your cute unicorn slippers, and they’ll knock over the trash can and blame us for it- and you KNOW we’re too cute and innocent to do that stuff– and they might even BITE YOU! 😿
And mom, they’re about as bright as burned- up candle. I mean, have you seen one of those things lately?
And, as if that’s not enough, they’ll break things, or eat the couch and then blame us for it, and we’ll have to try to prove our innocence, and you’re a tough one to convince, so how about we just forget that idea? Okay?
And also he’ll plot and scheme to get rid of us before we can do it to him – I mean, really, mom- it would be a CAT-astrophe! Just forget it, okay?