Category Archives: How to Cat

Sushi’s Sunday Musings

I’ve got a lot on my mind today. Like, how can I make Mom forget she already fed me?
I don’t think that’s stealing… I think it’s “tasting.
Hey, Can Opener- bring me the remote and the nip, will ya?
Hey Can Opener! I want that kind of cat tree!!!


How to Train your Humans

It’s time for some more lessons on training your humans. I’d better get some coffee and get started!

Too many kittens out there have no clue.

It’s springtime- and with spring comes kitty litters! Freshly brewed cute, adorable, clueless kitties who have no idea how to grow into a respectable cat. That’s why they need me to teach them!

We cats are highly intelligent and resourceful, but a baby anything needs to be shown how to grow and thrive- and most importantly, how to rule their humans. Remember- we were once worshipped in Egypt.

So, kittens- (and cats who need a refresher course) – First, remember that humans are suckers for a cute little kitty face. Look up at them adoringly, making sure your eyes are big and innocent – (that way they won’t suspect you when you’re naughty). 😹


Next, remember to respond when they babble “talk” to you so they think you’re listening to the rules. This will increase your chances of being adopted because you’ll appear to be “trainable.”

Once you’ve convinced them you’re and adorable little innocent angel, and you get adopted you can start practicing training them!

If you practice enough, you can have them feeding you treats just because you’re cute!


If there are loud, two-legged Creatures who live in your new home, make friends with them quickly. Be sure to follow them around and sleep with them at night. Why?

1.) They have lots of toys. They like to play.

2.) They eat constantly. And they leave crumbs everywhere.

3.) They’ll leave the butter on the counter.

4.) They’ll grow up to be extra Can Openers.

5.) They’ll defend you when you do wrong.


Sooner or later they’ll decide to bathe you (it’s the grown-up human version of playing with Barbie dolls).

Just a heads up- Once you let them do this, it’s all over. They’ll think you like it and will insist on doing it for the rest of your pathetic life.

For the love of Ceiling Cat, DON’T let them do it. This is your cue to use your God-given weapons.

Teeth and CLAWS.

GOOD LUCK.


Now go practice on your un-suspecting humans and I’ll be back again soon with more lessons. ❤️☕💚


Caturday Cats

My favorite thing to do on a Caturday, is follow the Can Opener around getting extra snuggles and treats.

It’s Caturday! Time to do your (cat) thing!

Cats love Caturday. Unless their humans leave them alone all day, or they have a bazillion creatures running around tearing the house apart, throwing things, screaming and shredding the drapes – (before you get the chance), or putting their grubby little fingers in the cat food, and dumping out your water. That might stress a cat out – just a little.

When a cat has to deal with things like that, they might show some signs of being a little hissed off. They might misbehave a little bit- or just plain lose it altogether…

And especially if there are little critters running around in the house with their playmates, your cat might get slightly exhausted from all the chaos and just drop into a coma…

But if they don’t drop into a coma or lose their minds, they may decide to spend some time problem solving…

Or use their Caturdays to settle a score…

Whatever you humans have planned for your Caturday, better make sure your cat is happy too!


Friday Fab Felines

I love this chair, Human. Nobody else gets MY chair!

Cats that are (almost) as fabulous as Me!

It’s been busy around here for the last couple of days, and the Can Opener needs some rest. So, I told Sushi to sleep on the laptop so she couldn’t get online and spend time ignoring us to do her grocery shopping. At least, that was the plan.

Unfortunately, even though Sushi’s a whale, The Human was still able to pick her up. So, we had a long, boring day while she shopped online and then, did her grief counseling, and set up physical therapy appointments, and signed a new lease, worked out, and attacked the house with that electronic beast (AGAIN). I hate that big, noisy thing!

Now she’s in pain, and “can’t” play with us. We knew this was going to happen, but we couldn’t stop her from wanting to “get things done.”

Staying busy helps her deal with grief. But, when is there time to relax and play? So, since I can’t stop her from all this busy- stuff, I just sit and glare at by her and work on my guilt inducing glares. Apparently, she either isn’t noticing, or I’m losing my touch.

So, I consulted some of my cat pals in the neighborhood for ideas on how to distract her from her distractions and get her attention. I found some pals that are (almost) as cute as me. I’ll try some of their ideas and hope for the best!

I wonder what she’d do if I sunk my teeth into her desk drawer like this? Probably would hurt…
Maybe I’ll borrow her blow dryer like this guy did- if that doesn’t get her attention, nothing will!
Hey! This will WORK! Now I wait until she goes to bed….
Now, here’s an idea… If I sit in one of her favorite plants and stare like this, she just may wonder what’s up…
Well, not a bad idea for such a tiny little kitty. I’ll try this next.
And now I wait… She can’t stay awake forever!

We’re Just Too Cute. Really!

Hey, Sushi- how about you write our post for tomorrow? I just want to lay here and watch for My Mama to come for dinner- That way the Can Opener has more time to prepare a feast for Mom and me
What? But I’m taking a nap!
Well, fine. I need a snack now anyway- and besides, SOMEBODY needs to write about our cuteness- (mine, specifically)!

“Once upon a time, there was a Siamese cat, and a beautiful, highly intelligent Tortie, (who was also very beautiful and smarter than the little flea Siamese, and their human liked the Tortie more than the little white flea uh- other cat,….and…”


Oh NO! MY STORY DISAPPEARED!

Twilight, why did you do that!!!! It’s all your fault! And now my paws are hurting and I don’t want to type all that again- and anyway, everybody knows I’m the cutest…


Oh forget it! I’ll do it later- I need another nap.
Sushi, you’re such an idiot! *Sighs*


Caturday’s Crazy Cats

It’s a NEW BOX! And It’s just my size!

Sushi and I have been busy

I’ve been talking to Sushi about ways to get the Can Opener to settle down and do something to relax for a while and today we found just the thing- so we want to share it with you too. We didn’t think there were any cats cuter or more entertaining than us, but after seeing this handsome Siamese and the other clown cats in this video, we just may be wrong.

Well, Sushi may be wrong- I’m never wrong. And if this is wrong, it’s Sushi’s fault. *Just sayin’.*

Watch and laugh- but the Siamese is going to be my new boyfriend- (I’m going to tell him-Just so he knows).


Caturday Cuties

Go type for Twilight, human. I’m trying to sleep here!

Now, let’s see some other cuties…..

Wait – No. Why should I give the spotlight to other cats who clearly aren’t as cute as me?

Oh. THAT’S Why. The Can Opener says I have to. She really is getting on my last nerve.

Since the Can Opener is starting a little LATE with our post today (she’s getting on our last nerve) … We decided to show you some cats being at their ultimate Caturday Cuteness. Of course, Sushi had to insist on being first.

She might be first- but I’m still the cutest.

Beat this, Sushi!



just in case you weren’t sure- CATS RULE.

She hit me with the golf ball

I’M TELLING!!!

Twilight is SO WEIRD!

Tomorrow is the Can Opener’s birthday and she was so busy today, that Twilight decided to get her attention and make her play. She had been making some Christmas gifts for the little Critters and it was raining, and too cold for Twilight to go out.

Then Mom -(aka. The Can Opener)- decided to take a break. So she got a cup of coffee and sat on the couch to brush and groom me before she got all wrapped up in her projects. I love it when she grooms me, because she puts me on her lap, tends to my eyes, checks for itchy areas, brushes & cuddles me, then feeds me treats.

When she was done, I climbed down from the couch to stretch out in the rug for a nice, long nap. And that’s when it happened.

That little Albino Flea had decided to kick the golfball to the Can Opener before she had the chance to get up and go back to work, and I just happend to be laying in the rug between her and the Can Opener, so the next thing I knew,…

Sleeping peacefully, and then….
WHAM!
SHE MESSED UP MY FUR!

I’M TELLING SANTA AND YOU WON’T GET ANY PRESENTS!


No!!

Holiday Busy-ness!

Image by Stefan Maderbacher from Pixabay

No time to think!

There have been back-to-back birthdays to prepare for, (including her own this week)- Critters to teach, referee, and entertain, hubby not feeling well, Psycho Sheba (cat) next door trying to take over our house, Christmas gifts to make (and wrap)- baking, planning, and cleaning.

Then there’s Sushi and cute little me. The schedule has changed, routine has changed, and everything else on earth has changed. No wonder the Can Opener rarely takes time to play with me!

I know you’re busy, Human. But it’s raining and I’m BORED! There’s not even a Christmas tree to knock over!

BUT she did yesterday! She knows I love paper bags, and sparkly, shiny things and ribbons and bows and GOLF BALLS – and BOXES!

I had so much fun- I was sure that when I kicked the golfball to her on her yoga mat today as she was getting ready for her workout- (not yoga)- that she was going to tell me she couldn’t play with me yet. But she DIDN’T!

Psycho Sheba gets locked out of her house and then pushes her way in our door and hunts for our treats!
This is how I feel when the Critters are here all day.

And right when I start to think she has forgotten to take care of herself, she starts to work out. Great. I’d rather play. But she tells me that she can’t afford to not work out with all the stress in her life and I try my best to give her the look to make her feel guilty….

And that reminds me of how special she makes me feel and how lucky I am not to be a stray anymore.

Maybe I’ll stop making her feel guilty… for now.

She gets mad at our human when she’s not allowed to eat our treats and growls and hisses at her- then gets escorted out.
The Can Opener has been playing games with the tiny Critter too.

Sometimes I think our Human is so busy taking care of everyone else that she forgets to take care of herself too.

Then I remember the new bed she bought me that I still haven’t used. Because I like hers best.

It’s that time of year again…

Time to help these poor humans get the Christmas tree set up JUST RIGHT!

People don’t realize how hard we cats have to work to “help” the humans get it right! No matter what we do to correct their mistakes they always come around and undo our contributions.