Category Archives: How to Cat

Cat Comics for your Wednesday

Grab some coffee and get ready to laugh!

Now that you’ve seen how much fun we adorable cats are to have around, go adopt one!

What a Wednesday!

It was a beautiful, warm day- until l saw Twilight’s Mama on my favorite spot in the yard!
She was sitting there making eyes at Our Human Can Opener, waiting for Twilight to come back from the stream.
I gave her a warning look, and she just stared right back at me, because she knows she has our Can Opener wrapped around her little paws.

I’m not sure I like this little arrangement.

But I have to deal with it – because they were here first. And the first time I went to approach “Mama” and give her some ground rules, both Twilight and the Human Can Opener intervened. But I still gave her my warning look- you know, the one that says,
“Hey there wild one- I could sit on you and crush you. And by the way, this is MY yard now.”

But of course, the Human ruined my practiced “Get Lost” look, by reaching down and saying in that condesending baby voice humans use, “Oh, Sushi-boo! You’re so cute!”

Gee, Thanks.

I was so embarrased! How can I scare her away with my human cooing, “you’re so cute, Susi-boo!” No cat will take me seriously now. And I could’ve sworn I heard a snicker from “Mama” when I turned to go inside and see if my food dish had refilled. It has not been a good day. My reputation is ruined! So, I did what any self respecting cat would do, and I went inside to eat and take a long nap.

Later, I decided to hang out in the front yard to avoid running into “Mama”- and Twilight came to try and make me play. Not a good move.

Of course, right when I was about to smack Twilight, that darn human intervened again! She just isn’t cooperating at all today.


How to Train your Human

I DID IT! I have the Big Critter fully trained to do my bidding!

Well, I’ll be darned. Twilight’s methods WORK!

This diet the human Can Opener has me on has gotten old. I got desperate and Twilight and I had an emergency consultation. She gave me a few hints, and I applied every single one of them Tuesday when the Critters were here last.

I very carefully timed my plan, and just as I’d hoped, around the Tiny One’s naptime, Tuesday, I saw the Can Opener starting to rush around to finish up lunch and get things ready for nap-time, and since the Big Critter was at the desk attending her live classes, I wound myself around her feet, and let her know I wanted to be put on the boppy that is on top of the desk to “keep her company” while she did her schoolwork.

Of course, this worked like a charm, but what she didn’t think of, is that I could see the bag of treats had been left on the desk earlier. I had a plan to make sure she noticed it and put “cat” + “treats” together, and got the right equation. You know, that girl is good at math!

First the treats,….
Then, she asked – “Sushi’s hungry, can I feed her?”

As I had hoped, the Can Opener had lost track of time while helping the littlest Critter with her schoolwork, lunch, and getting ready for naptime, and said yes…

Oh, that’s better now.
Thanks, Critter!

How to Train your Humans

These Critters are wearing me out!

by Sushi

How to keep the Critters from Driving you Nuts

Twilight has a boyfriend now. He’s a Seal Point Siamese that lives a few streets away, and at first she used to run from him. Now she watches for him to come serenade her at the bedroom window then gives the human the big blue eyes to let her out. That’s why I’m posting so much lately- she’s always running around with Romeo. I hate to tell the guy, but he won’t get anywhere with her, because she’s been “fixed.” But at least meanwhile, it keeps her from pestering me to play with her!

Speaking of playing, the Critters are running circles around me all day long and can’t keep their sticky little paws off me.

I love the Critters, but the minute my paws touch the carpet they both drop everything in unison and race to sit in the floor beside me and compete to scratch my back and pet my head, and beg the Can Opener to let them give me treats.

Sounds heavenly, right? Not if you’re a sleepy cat who just wants some peace and quiet. And on top of that, the Can Opener put me on a diet so now the Critters arent’ allowed to load me up with treats 6 times a day anymore.

SIX TIMES A DAY (x 2 CRITTERS)- THAT’S 12 EXTRA TREATS A DAY I’M MISSING OUT ON! THIS HAS TO STOP!

I mean, Seriously? How much is a cat supposed to endure in 9 lives?


So, Here’s my “plan A” – (I won’t need a plan B)…

I’ll act like I’m starving first thing in the morning and keep yelling for food (after I’m fed). I’ll let the human put my eye medicine in (she’ll give me treats for letting her put the medicine in without shredding her)….

Then when the Critters get here, I’ll wait til the littlest one has her running all over the place, then I’ll go to the biggest one and give her the eyes and convince her I haven’t been fed or given treats yet. She’ll be heartbroken for me, and wait for a chance to sneak me another feeding and some more treats while the human is taking care of the first catasrophe the little one makes.

Then I’ll go to Human #2 (the backup Can Opener), and snuggle him and he’ll give me treats- then while the Can Opener is still working on breakfast and tea time snacks, and planning lunch, I’ll go wind around her ankles acting as pathetic and hungry as possible. If I time it just right, she’ll think she was so busy with the little Critter that she forgot to feed me, and she’ll feed me again. Or, better yet, she’ll let the big Critter “help” – and she’ll feed me twice what the Can Opener will. And sneak me more treats. Purrfect!

Then during tea time, and lunch, the Can Opener will be so busy she won’t notice that I’m eating Twilight’s food.

That’ll get me through breakfast and lunch. Then when the little one goes to sleep for her nap, I’ll climb up on the biggest Critter and start the process all over again. She falls for it every time! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! She might even load me up with Redi Whip!

I love Critters!


Monday Morning Cattitude

photo by Ellie Bergen (pexels)

Good Morning. Or should I say, “Mourning?” After all, it is MONDAY again.

Sushi’s about to come into the room and claim my Can Opener’s lap again, so I’m going to hunt down my mama and then go duck hunting by the stream. Just knowing that Sushi’s going to hog my human for the next hour puts me in a grumpy mood, so I looked up some other felines who are in a grumpy mood and they brightened my morning. Maybe they’ll brighten yours a little too.

I hope all you cat moms out there (Human and feline) had a great Mother’s day. Every Mother deserves to be recognized and rewarded for their efforts in caring for their little ones (human or feline). No one realizes how hard they work – unless they are Moms themselves. Purrs to all you Moms!




The Boulder Wakes

Alright, Human. Enough games.

Hand over the treats and nobody gets hurt.

*SNORE*
What am I hearing? Is that a TREAT BAG RUSTLING?

Sushi was sound asleep in the bedroom where she had been for hours while I used my time constructively to shred the toilet paper, shed fur on the pile of clean laundry, knock a few things down from the top of the desk, and zip past the water dish just close enough to tip it over and I was so proud of myself for my hard work.

So I went to the living room to ask the human for a treat or two – (or a bag). The human is a sucker for my blue eyes, so she always gives me treats. But then as soon as she picked up the bag, a walking boulder came out of the bedroom and started not so politely demanding that she get treats first.

I’m older. RESPECT YOUR ELDERS.
*Human opens bag*
Those SHOULD be mine.
You gonna eat that?

The Can Opener had already given Sushi her share of treats- but I take my time with mine, while Sushi gobbles up whole handfuls at a time, so she gobbled all hers up and had eaten them all before I ate half of mine. Then she kept inching her way over to finish mine for me.

Lucky for me, the Can Opener picked Sushi up and moved her to the couch so I could eat my treats in peace. No wonder her back hurts.

That’s not fair. I’m gonna pout.

But before she could get her pout going, she fell asleep. “Hey, Mom- how about sneaking me some more treats, since she’s asleep?”


Duck Delight

Don’t worry about dinner, Mama- I’ll catch a DUCK!

“Don’t mind me, little duckie- I’m just going to help you find your way to Mama….”

I had the most delicious, I mean, interesting encounter today in the backyard! I was minding my own business, stalking through the grass and chasing butterflies, when I saw something moving in the nieghbor’s long grass by the fence behind our house.

Before I could stop myself, I was sprinting through the backyard chasing a darling baby duck! He was so FAT, I mean, DARLING! Next thing I knew, he somehow accidentally got in my mouth! It was the strangest thing! He just sort of stuck his neck right between my jaws, and I have no idea how it happened, but I was happy, because I could save the Can Opener all that work of opening a can for my dinner, and I knew she’d be proud of me for catching (I mean, FINDING) a pretty little duck to invite to dinner!

But then, the backup Can Opener came outside and saw me and told me to let go of the duck! Well, thanks to Dad, I was startled, and that little rascally thing took advantage of it and dropped to the ground and waddled off, and I tried to go after it (I had to help it find it’s way back to its mama)- really- But Dad came after me so I ran inside.

I managed to avoid getting kept inside, and as quickly as I could manage it, I flew back outside to find my duckie again- but the tasty little guy had crept under the fence already and found it’s Mama- so I couldn’t get it back!

“I was just trying to escort him back to you – to keep him safe! Honest!”

I don’t know why, but those Mama ducks can get really grouchy in a heartbeat. Geez!


Cat Tree in Full Bloom

Leave me alone, already!

The Can Opener is staying up late again, so I got extra time to play outside (even though it’s raining, I didn’t care)- so after several hours of chasing my mama (cat) outside and coming back in, I had eaten, had treats, and was finally warming up and falling asleep on the cat tree when the human got up to make herself a cup of blueberry tea, and started petting me and telling me how adorable I am. Thanks for the news flash. Now leave me alone and let me sleep.

Apparently I’m just so flipping cute that she can’t resist me, so I decided to help her.

Finally, after three or four rounds of chewing on her hand, she decided maybe I wanted to be left alone (and the tea timer went off- thank God), so she got her tea and went to say goodnight to Sushi instead.

Lucky for Sushi, she was asleep, having already started snoring, and the Can Opener decided to just give her a quick pet and tell her goodnight. That’s because Sushi has longer claws than me and isn’t as forgiving. Thank God she decided to just leave us alone and drink her tea. I think otherwise Sushi and I would’ve had to take drastic measures to get her to back off.

Of course, from the looks of Sushi, it would take an earthquake for her to take any measures that meant she had to move.

I’ll slice you to ribbons, human. Leave me alone.

Caturday Mouse Hunting Tv!

Bring the popcorn and treats, Human!

Movie time for Twilight!

Start the popcorn and bring the treats, human! I’m going to sharpen my techniques in this educational mouse hunting video and then go outside and catch you a couple of big, juicy ones for dinner!

Don’t forget to set the table!


Critterpated

Okay, so I love the Tiny One. My Bad.

So she stole my heart. Deal with it.

Okay, I never imagined I would ever say this about a tiny little grabby-pawed tornado, but this one surprised me. She’s different. It’s like one day she realized that I really am a living, breathing kitty with feelings and she started trying to not scare me, and then she wanted to start feeding me treats, and all of a sudden, I have a tiny human best friend.

So, now, I always (carefully) come out to say hello when I hear her tiny little voice in the mornings, and she always rushes over to pet me and give me treats. (I knew this little thing could come in handy one day)! So now, I stay near her -(when the Can Opener is close-by, just in case she gets a little TOO happy, and loud and friendly and starts chasing me again).

So the last time she was here, I waited until the human was going to help her practice writing and learning new things, and then I made sure to let them know they had my approval, by rubbing my scent all over her workbook. This also served the purpose of letting them both know I wanted to play. You know, to break up the monotony of all that tedious learning stuff that kids don’t want to do because they want to play. You’re welcome, human. I call it helping her learn…(how to please the cat).

Knowing the difference between ‘real’ and ‘pretend’ situations
Helping her learn to use the computer and work on her math lessons.
Knowing what does or doesn’t belong together
Watercolor / making new colors

Best of all, she’s also learning how to take care of kitties and learning to read our body language. She’s actually getting pretty good at it- I think Sushi and I are pretty good teachers (but we let the human take the credit)…okay. I guess Abby and Serafina get credit too, since they are here kitties when she’s home. Not bad for a little Critter.