Yesterday Sushi was sitting next to the Human on the front porch, and Sheba was laying next to her. That was okay, but then she crossed a line- she stood up and started marking our human and head-bunting her wanting love and snuggles! The Human thought it was sweet, but Sushi and I didn’t appreciate it at all!
Then I heard our Human sweet-talking Sheba and decided that had to stop, so I came running up to my Human to give her some snuggles of my own, and warn off Sheba. You’ll never believe me, probably, but Sheba saw me running up to love on MY HUMAN, and she growled and hissed at me, and swatted at me with both paws! She wasn’t going to let me get to our human or even go in my OWN HOUSE! *tail flap!* Awwww, HECKKKKKKK NO!
Our human picked me up, and hung me over her shoulder and started loving on me, and Sheba got mad- she went and laid down in the grass swishing her tail violently and kept giving me dirty looks. But then our human made Sushi and me so happy! She told Sheba that if she can’t “mind her manners,” she’ll have to go back home! Then she took me inside and gave me treats. (Sheba won’t mess with Sushi because Sushi could flatten her).
I made sure to sneer at Sheba over Mom’s shoulder when she took me inside and shoot her a warning look, and it made me feel so good that our human put her in her place. She keeps loving on our human because she knows we have treats- and her Mom is trying to cut her back on treats, because she won’t eat her food! What a rotten scheme!
So Sushi and I had a discussion with our human and she promised not to let Sheba have any of our treats no matter how sweet she acts.
There’s more to this story, but I’ll have to finish it tomorrow- our human is adjusting to a new Critter schedule starting tomorrow because their mom got a better job- so I have to get our human to give us our evening brushing and snuggles now before she shuts everything down for the night.
See- Sushi has already got my spot on the couch! Goodnight for now!
I think humans believe cats don’t write in diaries. They’re right – we don’t. (We lay on laptops and type our hearts out when no one’s looking). Writing is too hard for us because we don’t have thumbs, and every time I see paper, my first thought isn’t to write on it, it’s to shred it. There’s just something so satisfying about hearing a loud rip coming from underneath your claws. But it’s also extemely satisfying to lay on. It feels nice and cool- and the crinkle it makes is soothing.
Ever notice you can’t read a newspaper or a magazine, without the cat coming to lay on it? Or, wrap a present or read a book? There’s a reason for that- it has your undivided attention- so it has to go.
See, it’s all about your attention. We’re cats- we demand it- every moment we’re awake. That is, unless we’re crazy obsessed mouse hunters like Twilight. She has mice on the brain. It seems that all she thinks about is hunting mice or ducklings. Mom hates it when she brings one of those in the house and plops it at her feet. But she doesn’t let Twilight know it because Twilight’s sharing her prize.
My thing isn’t hunting. It’s making the Can Opener slow down for a few minutes and hold me in her lap for as long as possible – (that is until she tries something I don’t like, like clipping my claws, or putting medicine in my eyes). But I’m really getting good at purrsuading her to drop everything and cuddle me when I’m ready. And that, is MY prize.
Good Morning. Or should I say, “Mourning?” After all, it is MONDAY again.
Sushi’s about to come into the room and claim my Can Opener’s lap again, so I’m going to hunt down my mama and then go duck hunting by the stream. Just knowing that Sushi’s going to hog my human for the next hour puts me in a grumpy mood, so I looked up some other felines who are in a grumpy mood and they brightened my morning. Maybe they’ll brighten yours a little too.
I hope all you cat moms out there (Human and feline) had a great Mother’s day. Every Mother deserves to be recognized and rewarded for their efforts in caring for their little ones (human or feline). No one realizes how hard they work – unless they are Moms themselves. Purrs to all you Moms!
It’s felt so strange around here without the little noise-makers that keep our Can Opener busy. The poor little things were feeling pretty lousy and had fevers so they stayed home with their Mom and Daddy and got spoiled.
But here’s the deal- I get spoiled a lot more when the Critters are here than when they aren’t. When they’re here, they sneak me more treats than I would usually be allowed to have- and they love to scratch that spot in my back that I can’t quite reach. Of course, they also like to yell, and a cat laying in the middle of the rug around here is taking its life in its paws- because once those tiny feet attached to an excited tiny little one get going, they can’t always stop before noticing “the rug in the rug.”
Another plus to the Critters coming back, is that they love to feed me us. The Can Opener feeds us, of course- but when the Tiny One and its sister are here, she’s so busy taking care of them, helping them with school, and keeping them occupied, that she can easily lose track of when she fed us last.
And The Critters are more than willing to open endless cans of food for us. I just love those two!
Well- until they get here I’m going to remind the Can Opener one more time that I’m starving (even though she just fed us)- It’s so easy to get extra food when she’s rushing around getting ready for their arrival! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
I think everyone could use a few good laughs to start your week off.
We cats notice a lot more than people think we do. Like when the humans come back from the grocery store with something in their bags that smells suspiciously like treats, and they act all relaxed and non-chalant, like there’s only boring stuff in there and try to slip the treats out and hide them without us noticing. YEP. That’s right- we notice. Even when we are sleeping in the other room.
We also notice that most people hate Mondays like we cats hate the vacuum cleaner. With that in mind, I decided to try to lighten things up a little for you guys by sharing some of the Can Opener’s favorite comics. I hope you enjoy them and get yourself a warm spot in the sun and take a nap. If it’s good for cats, it’s good for humans.
Sit down, Human. Sushi and I had a talk and you need to listen.
Now, We waited all day for you to take time with us- and you didn’t have to go anywhere, but you still didn’t take time to play with us! You cleaned our ears (a BIG NO-NO)- you put flea treatment on us -(a BIGGER NO-NO),… and although you cuddled us and fed us treats, you STILL didn’t play with us!
You read, you cleaned, you cooked, washed laundry, washed dishes, and you took care of us, but when we wanted you to stop everything and keep us playing, you didn’t. And then, you kept going back and forth to your sister’s house all day long, leaving me and Sushi wondering just what the flea was going on. So the last time you left to go there today, I followed you- (yes, that’s right)… and I watched through the window as you played with HER CAT! PSYCHO SHEBA! What the flea??
You say you were there because her human had a painful surgery Friday and she needed help. But how was it helping her to feed Sheba and play with HER? Hmmm? I HEARD you two laughing and I saw Sheba chewing on the phone charger while you and her human laughed and YOU EVEN TOOK PICTURES OF HER!
Now, you did take time to spoil us and play with us when you finally got back home -(after I almost turned into an icecicle waiting out on the banister for you to get done and come home), but it wasn’t enough. We think you need to revisit your priorities, and buy more treats. Right, Sushi?
*Rolls eyes* Nevermind.
(Sushi): Oh. What’s right? (Twilight): Just forget it.
I was going to do a post to make you guys smile this morning, but Sushi is getting on my VERY. LAST. NERVE. I saw her laying on the rug and swiped at her to let her know I wanted to play and she HISSED at me and smacked me with her tail- so I smacked her back. And she smacked me back. And I smacked her back again.
I’m calling this post “Monday Mischief” because I plan on getting into a lot of mischief today.
It’s time to have some flipping FUN!
Why get into mischief? I don’t know. Probably because I’m a cat and I feel like it. But mainly because it’s cold and has been raining so much that everything outside is all muddy and I don’t like getting mud on my paws just to go out and run wild for a while. I keep trying to play with Her Grumpiness (Sushi)- but she just grunts and swats at me, and then I get upset and swat the holy heck out of the big whale.
So then I start playing with everything I can find- lucky for me the Can Opener likes to play- only she’s not so crazy about my claws locking onto her when we wrestle. And I’m not crazy about getting my claws trimmed.
But this is why I love the pink thingie- there’s ribbons, and beads, and sparkleys and it’s so much fun! And, it doesn’t yelp when I sink my claws into it!
Well, my tummy’s growling now- time for dinner and my nightly grooming with the Can Opener! My favorite part of the day!
Was there a horrible catastrophy? No. Did someone get hurt? No. But it was still a terrible, awful, miserable Monday. Why?Because we are CATS and it was raining all day long and every time we tried to go outside and chase the squirrels that were taunting us from the tree branches, we got soaked. And cold. Very cold!
Photo by Suzanne Jutzeler (Pixels)
So since the Can Opener simply refused to serve us popcorn (or treats) while we watched the squirrels and birds taunting us, we decided to do the only thing any cat in his right mind would do… sleep!