I think everybody needs something to smile about, so that’s why my pals and I got together to show you our royal cuteness. Enjoy!
Well, GEEZ! I was just about to end my post, and Sheba HISSED at me on catbook because I only posted ONE picture of her! Some cats are so flipping SENSITIVE! Fine. I’ll add some more pictures of her Royal Hiney, Sheba, the Psycho cat next door (But Sushi and Serafina and Abby and I are the cutest)!
Okay, well, Sheba is kinda cute. I know because she told me.
Lesson 7: Get Spoiled
Welcome back, fellow felines. Today’s Lesson is called, “Get Spoiled.” Every cat wants to get spoiled of course, because we deserve it. We’re beautiful, loving, sassy, and entertaining- and frankly, usually smarter than the humans who think they own us.
Nevertheless, we need them, since we don’t have the ability to open cans or purchase treats and toys for ourselves. So, Let me show you how to make sure you get spoiled rotten, and are the queen (or king) of whatever house you choose for “home.”
1.) Even though every cat instinctively avoids the tiny little tornadoes, be sure to occasionally surprise them by (carefully) getting close enough to them to allow them to touch you and feel your soft fur.
The reason for this is, when they see how soft you are, and hear you purr when they touch you, they will be 57% more likely to actually ask to feed you food and treats.
(Save the biting and clawing for times when you’ve had enough).
2.) Speak up and let them know when you’re hungry. And don’t be quiet about it. “The squeaky wheel gets the oil,” as they say. Sushi is especially good at this.
When the Can Opener’s alarm goes off at 4:00 every morning, Sushi is on the bed right by her pillow yowling at 3:59 am. Insistently. Urgently. With claws ready. Guess what? The Human springs out of bed at the speed of light to feed her before she wakes up the other human. Nice Job, Sushi.
4.) Occasionally do the unthinkable and humor the Can Openers by letting them bathe you- This makes them feel like they have a love hungry “Baby”- Most humans are crazy about babies (go figure). And if they think you like to be “babied,” you typically get whatever you want.
Of couse, there are exceptions to this rule, but that’s what teeth and claws are for.
Be sure to stop by Next Wednesday for Lesson 8 of How to Train Your Humans.
3.) When You see the humans eating something you want, get as close as possible to them (discreetly)- then when they least expect it nudge your way over to the delectible treat they’re eating and sniff it. If your human is already well trained, they’ll hand it over. If not, keep after them until they do. Politely hint…. like Sushi (see below):
Just you wait, Humans…
Well, our Christmas was cold and the Can Opener left us locked up prisoners in the house the whole flipping day. We were a little miffed- but we realized it wouldn’t do us any good anyway, because the turkeys took off to be with the grown critters and the itty bitty ones for Christmas.
So we decided to save our pouting and revenge for when they got back since they couldn’t see us giving them the evil-eye anyway, and we needed to save our energy for our purrfect plot. Way to spoil a cat’s Christmas! *grumble*
They left early and had the nerve to stay out until long after dark. They had the neighbor come over and check on us and give us food, and they left Cat TV on for us- but we still weren’t happy, because she didn’t serve us our whipped cream tower, or treats, and she even served me in Sushi’s dish! I can’t eat out of HER dish! I’ll get Sushi cooties! And, she fed Sushi in MY DISH!! DISGUUUUUUUSSSTING!!!!! *coughs up hairball*
And when they came home they smelled like the critters and SERAFINA AND ABBY! They were loving on them when they should’ve been home spoiling us!
Here- take a look at the EVIDENCE we found on the human’s phone!!
And then there were all these pictures of the Critters and their gifts….
Well, all this evidence means Sushi and I have a lot of work to do to retrain this Can Opener. Great. I’m getting busy! Hope you all had a peaceful, healthy Christmas- and Happy kitties!
We’re Still getting ready for Christmas and that nosy Elf just keeps popping up!
Sushi started attacking a plastic bag this morning and some toys the Can Opener left out for us last night when she went to bed, and just as she was preparing to rip into the bags and shred them all over the living room, she had a funny feeling she was being watched-
And then she saw that Elf. She doesn’t like him. She likes her privacy when she’s going to be naughty and shred things. She says he ruins her fun because he makes her nervous. Then she locked eyes with him (above), and threatened to shred him if he doesn’t go away. (He just sat there and kept right on smiling)- not smart.
Meanwhile, at the Critters’ house, Serafina and Abby just ignore the little dude and plot their usual mischief not the least bit concerned about the little red-cheeked tattletale.
Serafina is planning on climbing the tree to knock down some of her favorite ornaments (and hopefully scare that Elf away), and Abby has decided to enjoy “her” new throne- (That was just bought for the little critter).
I sure hope Santa doesn’t hear about all this…
Oh my cats! It’s my favorite time of year!
Time to decorate the Christmas tree, bake cookies, make candies, surprise neighbors and friends with treats and to actively LOOK for ways to bring comfort and hope to those we encounter every day!
And that brings me to some of the best things for bringing joy and comfort to others- CATS AND KIDS! Namely, the critters who started decorating for Christmas today!
Serafina of course, wanted to supervise putting the tree up. That way, she gets first choice of ornaments to knock down and kick around!
While Serafina is faithfully rearranging the ornaments on the tree, the critters are placing Christmas clings outside. They love those things.
“No more than six people” Thanksgiving gathering
The Can Openers and critters (big and little ones), had a wonderful Thanksgiving yesterday in spite of COVID restrictions- (“no more than 6 people allowed to gather for Thanksgiving”)- which the Governor proposed having people arrested or fined if they didn’t follow the guidelines. On THANKSGIVING? Luckily, there were only six of them anyway, (unless you they count Serafina and Abby)….
But what if you have a huge family like Sushi and I?
Sushi and I had to stay home while they went to celebrate at the critters’ house- and they were gone the WHOLE DAY. Honestly, Sushi and I had planned to wait till they left, then bring in OUR family for a major party… 🎉
And there are so many more in our family- but they don’t want their pictures used on the internet because they’re flipping Purranoid.
It didn’t matter anyway, though- because they all forgot to get their passports in time. They tried hitchhiking a ride here but not many people pick up hitchhikers in the jungle or desert- especially if it’s a 600 lb cat that could eat them. Weirdos.
Anyway, our family is all upset because they couldn’t come- but it’s probably for the best anyway, because they all get a little grumpy when they’re hungry- especially Aunt Fussy-pants.
But over at The Critters’ House- Everything was relaxed and content.
The baby Critter’s Dad found a video by Chef Gordon Ramsay on making a Turkey … with bacon… (*drool*) – and he made the turkey that way while everybody chatted, had mimosas, (and coffee) and visited and played games.
They all had a blast- while Sushi and I were home alone…all. day. long.
But it’s okay- because they loaded us up with Tiki Cat and Redi Whip and treats and snuggles when they got home. And besides, Sushi and I can use this “cat abuse” to get our way for along time!!😹
The Can Opener wants to share the video for Chef Ramsey’s Turkey- it was purrfect!
Christmas Recipe: Roasted Turkey with Lemon Parsley & Garlic / Gordon Ramsay