This morning has started out very annoying. First we woke up to a smokey haze hiding the sun and giving my fur a weird orange tint. I went outside and had to come back in. I was sitting in the windowsill pouting, then I looked over and saw Sheba come sauntering in, and helping herself to my food.
Now, where are those treats I smell?
I’m so glad she didn’t figure out how to get the treats the human leaves up on top of the desk for me. She has to leave them up there in my favorite hangout under the air conditioner because that’s the only place Sushi can’t get to to eat them. But I sure hope she stops staring at herself and leaves soon, because Sushi and I need to have a talk.
Well, that didn’t last long. The Can Opener got up to go into the kitchen and Sheba jumped down and followed her – growling and swatting at her leg! She got escorted outside- then she turned around and HISSED at the door!
It’s time to catch up on the cat gossip around here.
I’ve been wondering who the pretty new solid gray cat is with the white bib and white paws. It moved in across the street a while ago, but it stays mostly inside. That kind of hampers my attempts to get to know anything about him/her. So, I did what humans do when they want to get the goods on their neighbors. I decided to have a girls’ day lunch!
Since Sheba and Twilight are always running all over the place, I knew at least one of them would be able to enlighten me. Only one problem. It would require the Can Opener’s cooperation, since I can’t open a can. I had to convince the Can Opener that eating outside is as nice for me as it is for her and the Critters.
Lucky for me, she went along with it! Twilight was suspicious, though- she doesn’t trust Sheba (Sheba’s trying to take over the human)- So she just sat there and the Can Opener finally took her dish in so I wouldn’t eat it for her. How rude!
Speaking of being rude, Sheba wouldn’t tell me anything. She simply ate, burped, then stretched out next to me and went to sleep. Just to get even, I snored as loud as I could.
Then she got up and left. Twilight had already headed down to the stream, so I was left all alone. That little plan didn’t get me the information I wanted, so I’ll have to figure a way to get the human to let me stay out all night with Twilight and Sheba.
Yesterday Sushi was sitting next to the Human on the front porch, and Sheba was laying next to her. That was okay, but then she crossed a line- she stood up and started marking our human and head-bunting her wanting love and snuggles! The Human thought it was sweet, but Sushi and I didn’t appreciate it at all!
Then I heard our Human sweet-talking Sheba and decided that had to stop, so I came running up to my Human to give her some snuggles of my own, and warn off Sheba. You’ll never believe me, probably, but Sheba saw me running up to love on MY HUMAN, and she growled and hissed at me, and swatted at me with both paws! She wasn’t going to let me get to our human or even go in my OWN HOUSE! *tail flap!* Awwww, HECKKKKKKK NO!
Our human picked me up, and hung me over her shoulder and started loving on me, and Sheba got mad- she went and laid down in the grass swishing her tail violently and kept giving me dirty looks. But then our human made Sushi and me so happy! She told Sheba that if she can’t “mind her manners,” she’ll have to go back home! Then she took me inside and gave me treats. (Sheba won’t mess with Sushi because Sushi could flatten her).
I made sure to sneer at Sheba over Mom’s shoulder when she took me inside and shoot her a warning look, and it made me feel so good that our human put her in her place. She keeps loving on our human because she knows we have treats- and her Mom is trying to cut her back on treats, because she won’t eat her food! What a rotten scheme!
So Sushi and I had a discussion with our human and she promised not to let Sheba have any of our treats no matter how sweet she acts.
There’s more to this story, but I’ll have to finish it tomorrow- our human is adjusting to a new Critter schedule starting tomorrow because their mom got a better job- so I have to get our human to give us our evening brushing and snuggles now before she shuts everything down for the night.
See- Sushi has already got my spot on the couch! Goodnight for now!
Well, that cup of coffee that wasn’t supposed to last long this morning, lasted longer than I expected. That wasn’t because I displayed my impressive switchblade collection (claws) and demanded the human wait for a refill, it was because she had unfinished business to take care of that had kept her up until 1:30 am last night in a flurry of activity -(Which is why I couldn’t get her to post for me last night- or until now).
You know how every house has things stored in various places, things that used to be frequently needed or used, but have long since been forgotten?
There are other places in every house where things are useful, and yet aren’t used regularly, so they just sit until they’ve been there longer than the stone age. Things like bottled water, extra storage bags, waffle irons used only occasionally, baking pans that are rarely used, etc. Well, the night before last, I was telling our Can Opener what to write for our post, and she heard a noise in the kitchen.
That normally wouldn’t have been a big deal, but the backup Can Opener was already asleep, Twilight was outside, and nobody was in the kitchen at 11:30. Nobody human, anyway.
So much for that Sleepytime tea….
The Can Opener had long since cleaned up the kitchen and was just having hot tea and doing my typing, so she had to investigate when she started hearing more suspicious noises. So, she followed the sounds into the kitchen and then heard a loud metallic CLANG from under the kitchen sink. I watched as she proceeded to open the cabinet under the sink, then suddenly jumped away! A RAT climed up onto the top of the washing machine and was looking very startled and unhappy.
Well, he wasn’t the only one. My human immediately did everything she could to get him out – but he was a lot faster than she is. So, she did the next best thing. She looked to see if I knew there was a rat on the washer, and I was watching and waiting for popcorn.(She never brought me any).
So then, she opened the door and called Twilight in (The Exterminator).
Who, being the highly effective cat she is, promptly ignored her and left for the stream behind the house. Good job, girl.
I think the rat was waiting for popcorn too. But he didn’t get it either. The human amused us both for hours going on a cleaning frenzy and was up half the night trying to get rid of the nocturnal nightmare. It didn’t work.
She threw out tons of food she had under the kitchen sink too – food she had recently bought because of sky-rocketing prices, (things we use regularly and run out of often). New, unopened food. Boxes of oats, (unopened) bags of chips, boxes of crackers, boxes of cereal (all new, and unopened). The little nightmare had even chewed the labels off a can of pumpkin that was under the counter.
Twilight eventually came moseying inside, and instantly stopped in front of the cabinet and sat there, sniffing, prowling- (for hours). Then decided she was ready to eat. Hello- there’s a RAT available….
Lucky for the human -(and the rat), he didn’t mess with the boxes of French Roast k-cups she had just put there- she’d be out for blood and hire a hit man to kill him.
Oh wait- she did.
Since Twilight only wants him for a toy, she called the other Exterminator. (the one she has to pay). Poor guy’s days are numbered. Hope he enjoys them while he can.
Good show, Mr.Rat. Pity we didn’t get the popcorn.
This morning started out perfectly. The Can Opener finally slept well (since the TMJ started) – and took her coffee outside with me so we could listen to the chatter of the birds (even though she won’t let me catch one), and she could enjoy the pretty flowers and pick some raspberries, while I soaked up the sun.
It’s still early, and Twilight’s out someplace with her Mama. She’s trying to impress her Mama (cat) with her hunting abilities. The Human still has the annoying headache she’s had for three days now. But she’s starting to feel a little better- and I’m starting to put Sheba in her place, so she doesn’t harass me and swat at me like she does everyone else. I think it’s a good thing I’m bigger than her, because she knows I can flatten her if I have to.
Sushi told me that she posted that I wasn’t feeling well the day after my vet visit. Those shots are no fun at all. It wasn’t so bad the first day, but the next day I felt like I’d fought off an attack of wild bulls. I just wanted to be left alone so I stayed under the bed in my special box with my favorite blanket.
I wouldn’t let the Can Opener take pictures of me because I hadn’t brushed my fur, or my teeth, or bathed or anything. And my collar was all covered with fur. My human called the vet, and was told that I’d probably be fine the next day and to bring me back if I got worse. Lucky for me, I was feeling great the second day.
But they can’t take a picture of me if I’m gone, and I was. I couldn’t wait to go out and hunt again, so I went to visit the newborn duckies by the stream. Their moms weren’t happy to see me though, so they wouldn’t let me near the delicious little darlings. Anyway, by the time I got tired of wishing watching, and got hungry enough to go home and eat, the Can Opener was getting ready for bed. I’ll have to remember this trick the next time I want to avoid her camera.
Cute little me- All better now.
Today is Mother’s Day- So I have to go back out and hunt. Sheba caught a baby duck and surprised her Mom with it yesterday, and that’s all I’ve been hearing about. For some reason, Sheba’s Mom wasn’t at all happy and got upset. Maybe she just didn’t like Sheba bringing it into the bed. She hadn’t even had her coffee yet.
I’ll wait til Mom gets her coffee first and try to bring her a better one than Sheba brought her Mom. After all, it IS Mother’s Day! Geez, Sheba! Get it RIGHT!
Sheba has always been a little strange. Okay, a lot strange. Just plain psycho. Her human has been at her wits’ end because of the four footed fleabag’s strange behavior. Her human buys her all kinds of wet and dry food, and she looks at it, takes one taste, then walks out and never touches the food that was bought for her. Instead, she prefers treats.
She knows where her human keeps them and will harass her until she gets them, leaving her food untouched. Yesterday, the Critters were here and our Can Opener and Sheba’s human, fixed up the whole backyard as a sort of playground for the Critters. They even brought out snacks and treats for them to munch on while our Can Opener and she visited and had coffee.
Sheba came out to see what all the commotion was about. She loves to chase the Tiny One and her sister and take over the swingset. She checked out the food that was set out for the Critters, and none of it was tuna or cat treats- so she growled at my human! Then Her human came out with watermelon for herself, and Sheba decided it was hers! She actually ate several pieces of her human’s watermelon -(but won’t eat cat food)!
The Critters got a kick out of seeing Sheba eat watermelon (right off her human’s fork)- but her poor human is at a loss for what to do for her. It seems all she will eat is treats – at her house- or sometimes tuna. But her human keeps buying different brands and types of wet and dry food only to give it away later because Sheba won’t eat it.
Our Can Opener suggested she should take her to the vet for a checkup- but Sheba doesn’t act sick. Just picky. And fussy. She zips all over the yard, runs up into the tops of trees and onto the roof like a race car driver, and chases the creatures – even following them and playing hide and seek when they take walks. But she won’t eat the food provided for her and she keeps her poor Mom up all night and won’t let her sleep -(demanding to go out or come back in constantly). I say Queen Sheba is just plain picky and spoiled- but the humans around here are really wondering what the heck is up with her. Any one got any ideas? Her poor human never gets a good night’s sleep anymore and is still recovering from surgery on her shoulder and taking her to the vet right now would be really hard to manage. I think Sheba needs therapy!
I even asked the big Critter about it and we agree!
What do you think? A vet, a treat addiction program or a therapist?
And who ever heard of a cat being thankful? But my Can Opener always says everyone has something to be thankful for if they’re just willing to take a second to honestly think about it.
So, I’ve decided to be thankful today for everything I can- because when she sees me showing appreciation for things she does, she loads me up with treats. And I’m hungry. And it’ll make her happy- (and then she’ll give me more treats because she’s happy). Either way, I win.
So, Here’s some things I’m thankful for today -(I hope Mom is reading this)…
Thing 1)- long grass and sunshine to nap in.
Thing 2)- the Tiny One’s naps.
Thing 3)- Twilight. (bonus treats for that one).
Thing 4)- Sheba lives next door.
(If she lived with us, I’d have to eat her.)
Thing 5)- My favorite spot in the carpet- right in the walkway.
Thing 6)- My cozy spot on the desk
Thing 7)- That I can finally stop thinking of things to be thankful for.