To prevent the human from putting clean sheets on my bed. I had everything rumpled up just the way I like it, and she had the nerve to take advantage of my outdoor escapades to rip the sheets off and start opening windows to “let in some fresh *freezing* air.”
What the heck is wrong with you humans? It’s raining! Time to run and hide under a bush someplace, but wait- it’s WET! Then, I charge inside dripping wet and dart for the nice, warm bed, and all my cozy, rumpled sheets and blankets are gone- being drowned in the washer.
She had a folded set of clean sheets in her hands when she came back into the bedroom to finish carrying out her dastardly deed, but luckily I was able to hop on top of the comforter she had draped across the end of the bed, to let the water drain off my paws. I gave her a look that told her not to mess with me, so she finally decided the sheets could wait, and I got a good nap.
I think I’m going to send that weatherman a big, fat hairball.
I can’t play outside unless I want a shower- and from the looks of it, If this keeps up, I’ll need to swim! But I am (sort of) thankful for the rain. Because now there’s no more wildfire smoke choking out my air and making my fur smell like awful.
And, it does keep my grass beautifully soft and green, and makes it grow better so I have plenty of places to lurk around waiting for Sheba to saunter by so I can jump out and scare the whiskers off her!!!
I’m also thankful that The Can Opener is making Sushi exercise every day- but I think she gets more of a workout sharpening her claws on the mat, than she does playing and constantly trying to follow her food dish until the human sets it down.
I need it to stop raining though- even though the humans love it- because the little Critters will be here tomorrow, and if it’s raining, and they’re stuck inside, and I’m stuck inside, it’s not going to be good…..I just may be tempted to get micheivious…just sayin.’
Training Your Human and the other pests in your house
Greetings fellow felines. It’s been a while since I’ve done some lessons on training those moronhumans of ours. That’s because I’ve been so busy training my humans and Sushi that I’ve barely been able to keep up with my busy napping schedule.
As you may know by now, The Can Opener around here has been trying to help Sushi the fat cat to lose weight. I don’t think it’s working. She still is the small mountain in the middle of the rug that they have to walk around. So, being the great trainer that I am, I’ve been busy trying to assist the human in training Lardbutt- How?
Well, when I encounter a mountain in the middle of the living room, I climb it. (Sushi doesn’t like that), and since it makes her mad, she sits up to swat me. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! It makes her sit up and move! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Sometimes that’s the only way to get her to exercise. The Human tries to play with her, but sometimes she will only play for a little bit, and the human is dealing with the small critters all day (most days) too.
Now, when you work so hard to help your human do something, you should be rewarded, right? That’s what treats (and playtime for you) are all about.
If your human is too busy to play, you can trick them into it, by head bunting them, “asking for pets” … when they start to pet you, sit there and purr for a few minutes, then gently wrap your paws around their hand and attack! Not too hard, though- if you do it too hard, they’ll get upset and stop playing. They’re a little bratty that way.
Sometimes you also have to give them some gentle hints. Like dragging your favorite toy to them and sitting there waiting for them to wake up and figure it out. This is what I had to do with my Can Opener this morning….
Now my morning is off to a good start. Playtime accomplished, training Sushi accomplished, and demanded treats given. Now I can go conquer the rest of the world!
My human got a new cat bed for “us!” (But Sushi’s not getting it- I was here first)!
I came in and saw a new surprise all set up just for cute little ME! I was so happy, since Sushi the Brat Cat claimed my boppy that the Can Opener keeps on her desk so I can sleep by her while she’s working at her desk.
See? The big, round, comfy pillow she’s laying on was all MINE until the barge came along and stole it. Did I try to get it back? Does a cat have whiskers? YES I DID. But that thing is bigger than a ship and she could flatten me with no more effort than a horse needs to knock a fly away with his tail.
But I saw the new bed first- and of course, I immediately rubbed my scent all over it, walked through it, walked on top of it, and deposited enough of my fur to make a polar bear blush.
Did that matter to the mountain? No. After I left my scent, my fur and my pawprints (literally) all over it, I gave Mom tons of head butts and snuggles to thank her for it and ran outside to tell my Mama.
And later, when I came back inside to enjoy my new bed, I saw this…
The Tiny Critter had put my snake and my kicker toy inside the bed before her nap. And I came in to discover that Sushi not only stole my bed, but also my toys!
Our Can Opener is a very thankful person. And it rubs off on me. (But not Sushi).
I hear it all the time. My human Can Opener telling the little critters to be thankful in all circumstances. You know, to actively look for reasons to give thanks even if you can’t see a reason. Sometimes I think she’s nuts. Ok, maybe she is. But I notice, that when things aren’t going well, and there’s a lot bothering her, if she just thinks about the things that are not as they should be she gets upset.
And there are those times. But I’ve also noticed that sometimes, she feels everything beginning to weigh on her heart, and she starts thanking Jesus for everything she can think of -(and she can think of a lot).
I hear her teaching this to the little ones when they start to grumble and complain. And I notice that when I hear her starting to thank the Lord for something, pretty soon she starts to think of other things she’s thankful for too. And little by little any discouragement, anxiety or frustration melts away.
Why? Because she has deliberately shifted her focus from the things that would weigh her down, to the ways God has been good to her. And it shifts not only her mood, but the atmosphere too.
Here’s what I’m thankful for:
Bright, sunny mornings with no wildfire smoke clogging my air
Mom’s right. I am absolutely the cutest feline anywhere… I noticed my face in the mirror, and I realized that I truly am “One of a kind.” My stripes are perfectly in order, my nose is flipping adorable, my eyes are light blue, and I’m super smart too!
My humans fell in love with me at first sight, and now its been 7 years, and I finally have them mostly trained.
Sushi tries to take the spotlight- and in a sense, she does. In the sense that there’s always a big “elephant in the room” that the humans have to be careful not to trip over!
Sushi complains constantly about being on a diet. The humans are concerned for her because the vet said she needs to lose weight. They are doing everything they can to help her- but the girl was born to eat. She cons the grandkids, and walks in the human’s friends’ houses and helps herself to their food (not the good stuff Mom feeds us), and she’s been taking lessons From Sheba to sniff out treats- even if theyre not in our house.
As much as Sushi hates being on a diet, our Can Opener has plans for her to helep her. I’ll post on that later, from a safe distance. For now, any small animals need to stay inside…..
She’s so flipping rude sometimes! First, she came flying in the house, trumpeting her presence loudly with a mouse hanging out of her mouth, and after she presented it to the Can Opener, and flipped over belly up, loving all the high praises about being such a WONDERFUL huntress, she came over to me, (where I was peacefully laying down rolling my eyes at her performance), and licked my head, purring, and then- she whapped me upside the head and ordered me to do a post!
Finally, when I convinced the little brat to let me go, she turned to resume her mouse activities and it was gone! MWAHAHAHAHA! Serves her right. Man, I’m sleepy now. I guess I’d better do that post so she won’t interrupt my nap again. So, I asked the Can Opener to help me and she gave me some ideas… I think this will help me get over my frustration with the albino fleabag, and maybe they’ll help you too!
And now for a final thought from the Can Opener….
Thinking and Praying for all my readers all the time. I appreciate every one of you and I know times are hard- but do not lose heart. God listens to prayer- even when you don’t know what to say. Be strong.