Our human has refused to take dictation for us for several days now. There’s a whole bunch of family birthdays coming up (not to mention Christmas), and she’s been busy doing stuff to prepare for that. She spent hours helping the little critter make crafts for her Mom’s birthday this weekend, and she’s been staying up late at night. She’s teaching the critters lots of fun stuff to make though…
Also, she’s been baking, working out every day, and taking extra time to groom me and Twilight, because she’s so busy with the critters every day, that we don’t get much playtime. So Twilight and I decided it’s okay with us if she skips a day typing for us in order to give us extra love. But we’re not going to let her get by with it for long… because we don’t know how to type.
Take time for the things you enjoy and Be kind to yourself.
Make time for your relationship with God, with your family, and your friends. There is already too much division and loneliness.
The Can Opener appears to remain conveniently “out of order” except for two meals a day while I waste away on dry cereal that she calls “healthy weight management” food. She has switched my treats from the fun kind to the “healthy” ones- and unless the Tiny One and the Bigger Critter are here, I only get a few of those a day. She doesn’t have a scale for me, but she says she has to help me keep losing weight. Really, I try my best to tell her I’m only actually 6 pounds- and the other 10.03 pounds is cattitude.
But she’s not buying it. Although she does say she has to wonder sometimes. Whatever that means. I sure hope the Critters are here tomorrow, because the biggest one sneaks me roast beef and sausage chunks and Cheetos too -(unless the Can Opener happens to catch her). The Tiny One “accidentally” drops part of her bacon or hot dogs into the rug for me while the Can Opener is running around in the kitchen, and if it were’nt for them, I’d swear I’d be down to 6 pounds by now.
But, at least she makes time to play with me more now. Today she even teased me into going outside with my dangly yellow thingie- and we were having a blast- that is until the creepy guy next door came out and distracted my human. Gee, thanks.
After the neighbor made me nervous, we went back inside and the human was going to put my yellow dangly thingie away, but it looked at me the wrong way, and I had to teach it a lesson- so she let me go for it a little longer and then gave me some “healthy” treats! She says they’re healthy, but they can’t be because they’re so DELICIOUS!
But, the Critters will be here tomorrow, so I’m already excited! Know why? This should explain it… Today, the Tiny One and her sister stayed home with their Mom and the Tiny One wanted to be helpful while Mommy was working so she fed Serafina.
Lucky for Serafina, she left her OWN spoon in the (open) can, and put it back under the counter where they keep the cat food.
Then the Big Critter discovered it, and took this video…..
I’m so excited the Tiny One will be here tomorrow!!!!!! I’ll get to gain back the other 10 pounds of “cattitude!” I can’t wait!
Breakfast? Why Yes, Mom- Make it Redi Whip with a fresh mouse garnish, please.
Mom got up at 4:00 this morning and wanted to cuddle me. But I’d stayed out til 2:00 and just wanted to sleep. I had no plans of getting up just to get snuggles (I can get snuggles anytime)- But I heard Mom go in the kitchen, and Sushi told me the Tiny One was coming. All of a sudden I was starving. I ordered breakfast, but the Can Opener never gets it right. She sometimes gives me the Redi Whip, but she NEVER remembers the fresh mouse garnish. And, she makes me eat food first. Who told her I was a toddler?
I wonder why Sushi always thinks I need her opinion. Soon after breakfast, I heard the giggle heard around the world and the loud BUMP that follows it through the front door and I ran out the back as fast as possible. The next thing I knew, the Tiny One and an even TINIER one was out in my yard haunting all my favorite spots.
Since it wasn’t safe to stay outside, I came in for a long nap – and when I woke up from that, the Tiny One had fallen asleep (finally)! I went out to practice my duck hunting and came in later after they had gone home and found my human getting into a book of Brain puzzles she got on Mother’s Day… “Find the Cat.”
But then the Critters showed up. The Big Critter and the Tiny One made me so happy the minute they came in the door. Their faces light up so much when they see me, and they race to me and pet me and compete to give me treats- and they make me happy. I guess I just have to admit I love the noisy little turkeys.
I keep a watch on them (for the human Can Opener) while she’s busy making breakfast and lunch and treats for them- and I help when she helps them with their schoolwork- (although I do fall asleep sometimes).
What I think I like most about them is the laughter and joy they bring (even if they do bring a lot of noise with them at the same time). And I like watching the Tiny One play.
I like a lot about them -(especially when they fall asleep)…
But this drawing the Big Critter did today says it all….
Yeah- I think I love the Tiny One- just a little bit.
This diet the human Can Opener has me on has gotten old. I got desperate and Twilight and I had an emergency consultation. She gave me a few hints, and I applied every single one of them Tuesday when the Critters were here last.
I very carefully timed my plan, and just as I’d hoped, around the Tiny One’s naptime, Tuesday, I saw the Can Opener starting to rush around to finish up lunch and get things ready for nap-time, and since the Big Critter was at the desk attending her live classes, I wound myself around her feet, and let her know I wanted to be put on the boppy that is on top of the desk to “keep her company” while she did her schoolwork.
Of course, this worked like a charm, but what she didn’t think of, is that I could see the bag of treats had been left on the desk earlier. I had a plan to make sure she noticed it and put “cat” + “treats” together, and got the right equation. You know, that girl is good at math!
As I had hoped, the Can Opener had lost track of time while helping the littlest Critter with her schoolwork, lunch, and getting ready for naptime, and said yes…
Twilight’s not herself today. She’s giving me a break.
She isn’t feeling well. I knew something was up yesterday when I saw The Can Opener put her in the carrier. I happened to be laying on the couch next to her when she went in (complaining loudly). And I got worried – even though she annoys me all the time trying to get me to play. But before I could ask her what was going on, the Can Opener picked up the carrier and headed out the door.
Oh well. Back to my nap.
She came back about an hour later with a fresh bag of treats from the vet and much calmer than she was when she left. The Can Opener gave her some food and her new treats right away and then she loved on Twilight a little, Twilight warned her not to ever do that again, then she went out to play.
Hmmmm. She went to the vet and came back calm, with a new bag of treats and got spoiled right away. I think I need to see the vet. NOW.
Twilight played outside and visited her her (still feral) Mom and made sure she got loaded up on food, then came in around midnight. She kept the human up til midnight when she needed to be up at 4 am this morning like any decent cat would.
Then at 4 this morning the human stumbled out of bed and headed for the Keuring in her sleep, and 2 cups of coffee later, she noticed Twilight was nowhere to be found. She also didn’t come racing when she heard a new can of food being opened, or the bag of treats being shaken- (I was of course, willing to eat Twilight’s food and treats since she wasn’t interested, because it’s the right thing to do).
The Can Opener knew something was wrong, because every morning Twilight immediately runs up to her, trilling, and sticks her butt up in the air waiting for the back scratch of her dreams. So she looked for Twilight and knew she had to be under the bed where Human #2 was still sleeping.
The Live Entertainment arrived. I think I’ll go join Twilight under the bed.
All day long, the Can Opener never saw Twilight leave the bedroom. She wouldn’t eat or drink. She didn’t throw up and didn’t seem to be in pain, she just would’t eat and wanted to be alone. The Can Opener decided to take the Critters outside as soon as possible to give Twilight a chance to rest peacefully.
Twilight didn’t have a fever, and hadn’t thrown up, so the vet said it’s likely just a reaction to the shots she had yesterday (although this has never happened to her before when she got her shots).
After the Critters went home and Twilight still didn’t come out, the human picked her up and cuddled her and tried again to get her to eat. She still wouldn’t eat, but she was clearly wanting to be held and cuddled and kept kneading her paws. That seemed to really help, and when the Human put her down, she finally went outside- and stayed out until the evening so she could have time with her Mom.
The vet says, as long as she doesn’t start getting sick or get a fever, she will probably be back to normal in the morning. Then she’ll be harassing me to play again, and it’ll be my turn to hide under the bed all day.
I think I’ve changed my mind about needing to see the vet.
My kingdom got infested with CRITTERS… and that was just the beginning!
I stayed inside this morning when the Can Opener got up at 4- because I stayed out late last night to hunt with my Mama. A handsome siamese from a few blocks away keeps coming over and stalking me even though I tell him I’m not that kind of girl. Last night, my Mama came and the Can Opener fed her and a few minutes after she went back inside, he growled at my Mama because he wanted her food! Lucky for Mama and me, the Can Opener heard it and came out and chewed him out for messing with “her babies!”
Well, that was last night. So since our playtime and hunting was interrupted, I stayed out later, so when the Can Opener woke up at 4 this morning, I wanted to sleep.
But, Instead of waking up slowly with her coffee and her Bible and journal, this time the human started cleaning out the refrigerator and freezer, and I got nervous (I have 4 open cans of food in there and I didn’t want her to throw it out)! I decided to stay inside and figure out what was wrong with her.
Then the Critters came bursting through the door and all of a sudden the human decided to start breakfast way too early. We were studying her wondering what happened.
Cats don’t like routine changes- or infestations in their kingdom.
Immediately after breakfast, we discovered why our whole morning had been turned upside down. There was a grocery delivery that suddenly appeared right as the Can Opener had finished cleaning up after breakfast.
Then, she turned the Critters loose to go run outside and ruin my kingdom! They slid on my slide, and played in MY tunnel, and swung on my swing and then put huge PUDDLES OF WATER everywhere that sprayed water out on me and got me wet! Not only that, they scared my Mama away from coming to play with me on the playset! And, another Critter came to chase the Tiny One around and play ball with her- so, I had to go back inside to stay dry, and avoid getting hit by a flying ball (or airplane).
Right when I thought it was safe,…THE VET!
Then, the next thing I knew, the Critters were picked up – and SO WAS I! I was put in my carrier and the Can Opener took me to the vet to rattle me a little more. I was poked, prodded, had my claws trimmed, my ears and mouth stared into, a thermometer put in a very inconvenient place, and then, I got TWO SHOTS and was surrounded by big, barking dogs on my way out the door! All I want to know, is how do I get my money back for this day?
*Just you wait, human. I’ve got a nice BIG Mother’s Day surprise waiting for you!*
Actually, I’ve been an Undercover Cat Career Agent since before I was adopted here. My previous owner was gone so much, I decided I had to find a way to support myself, and I’ve never been the kind of cat that would go around begging strangers to feed me -(they can’t afford my taste- except at the White House, and I don’t trust those guys).
So I put word out on the streets that I could help cats get recognized for their special skills if they’d bring me certain favors. Like Lobster (from the Rich cats that wanted to get richer). Or tuna, and shrimp from the cats who have Parents that work in the seafood department or go fishing. Hey, a cat has to do something to survive when their owner takes off and stays gone and leaves them with nothing but dry cereal, water, and bugs.
Here’s one of my favorite students- she actually belongs to the the Critters- her name is Serafina, and her parents buy her really good food- unfortunately, she likes to eat as much as I do, and it doesn’t matter if she’s actually hungry or not. Because for Serafina (and me)- Eating is not just a necessity. It’s a passion. We would be chefs, but most of them won’t allow us in their restaurants. Idiots!
Serafina’s special talent qualified her for an undercover career as a cordless vaccuum cleaner. And she does an excellent job. She is specially trained to only pick up food crumbs and treats that fall into the floor, or onto the couches (which Jazlyn and Lily are very faithful to leave for her to practice on). She’s turning into a real pro. Tomorrow, I’ll brag about another favorite career cat I trained, Abby (who lives with the Critters and Serafina).
For now, it’s my bedtime. It’s been a long day- Twilight and I have been working all day.
I should have known today would be a weird day, when the Can Opener didn’t seem to be her usual self when she woke up and headed for the Keurig. I couldn’t put my paw on it, but something felt off. So, as I usually do, I bolted out the back door to look for Mama or Sheba or some nice, juicy baby duck to play with.
When I came back inside about 2 hours later, the Critters and their parents were there visiting! My human was back to her cheery self and the kcup supply was diminishing rapidly, so I knew everything was going to be okay. She must’ve just woke up with a headache.
The Critters ran out into the backyard to play, and the Can Openers visited with their grown up Critter (Jazlyn and Lily’s Mom)- and had coffee and then made butterfly shrimp and french fries for everyone and discussed Mother’s Day plans. Soon it was time for Lily’s nap, but all the excitement had her too wound up and they decided to go home.
And then it happened…
After they left, Sushi gave our Can Opener the look that said, “I don’t appreciate my nap being interrupted, human. Don’t let it happen again.” Then she headed for the bedroom to take her nap without further interruptions, and I settled down on my human’s lap and was being snuggled, and brushed and was just beginning to fall asleep when suddenly we all heard a roar in the distance that got closer and louder- and things started to shake- and I tried to bolt- I could tell my humans were afraid-
The noise was SO LOUD and it sounded as though something was about to crash into our living room before we could even move! The Can Opener tried to hold onto me and calm me, but I flew off her lap and ran for cover. The two Can Openers could hear the jet long after it was out of sight, but the whole neighborhood was shaken and wondering what was happening. All I wanted to know was whether or not it was safe to come back home!
And on the way back to their house…
Our Can Opener searched the news stations for any mention of a planned Air Force flyover (like they do sometimes for the 4th of July)- but there was no mention of anything anywhere she looked. Everything settled down after that, but everyone was wondering what was going on- especially considering the problems in our country right now.
Things soon calmed down after a while, and all the neighbors went back inside, but the Can Opener thought about the Critters and their parents- who had only been about 10 minutes away from our house when it happened. She called to find out if they had seen and heard anything, and they had. The jet had flown over them as they were going over a bridge- and the first thought was that there was some attack happening- but it wasn’t. Still it unnerved everyone- especially because of the suddenness of it- and Jazlyn (the Big Critter) was afraid the bridge they were on might collapse and they would go into the water.
They made it back home, and things returned to normal, but we were all struck by how sudden and how loud and scary it was. (Except for Sushi- who somehow managed to sleep through the whole thing).
Speaking of empty tummies, I’m going to go talk my human into opening a can of tuna to calm my nerves…..
Sheba has always been a little strange. Okay, a lot strange. Just plain psycho. Her human has been at her wits’ end because of the four footed fleabag’s strange behavior. Her human buys her all kinds of wet and dry food, and she looks at it, takes one taste, then walks out and never touches the food that was bought for her. Instead, she prefers treats.
She knows where her human keeps them and will harass her until she gets them, leaving her food untouched. Yesterday, the Critters were here and our Can Opener and Sheba’s human, fixed up the whole backyard as a sort of playground for the Critters. They even brought out snacks and treats for them to munch on while our Can Opener and she visited and had coffee.
Sheba came out to see what all the commotion was about. She loves to chase the Tiny One and her sister and take over the swingset. She checked out the food that was set out for the Critters, and none of it was tuna or cat treats- so she growled at my human! Then Her human came out with watermelon for herself, and Sheba decided it was hers! She actually ate several pieces of her human’s watermelon -(but won’t eat cat food)!
The Critters got a kick out of seeing Sheba eat watermelon (right off her human’s fork)- but her poor human is at a loss for what to do for her. It seems all she will eat is treats – at her house- or sometimes tuna. But her human keeps buying different brands and types of wet and dry food only to give it away later because Sheba won’t eat it.
Our Can Opener suggested she should take her to the vet for a checkup- but Sheba doesn’t act sick. Just picky. And fussy. She zips all over the yard, runs up into the tops of trees and onto the roof like a race car driver, and chases the creatures – even following them and playing hide and seek when they take walks. But she won’t eat the food provided for her and she keeps her poor Mom up all night and won’t let her sleep -(demanding to go out or come back in constantly). I say Queen Sheba is just plain picky and spoiled- but the humans around here are really wondering what the heck is up with her. Any one got any ideas? Her poor human never gets a good night’s sleep anymore and is still recovering from surgery on her shoulder and taking her to the vet right now would be really hard to manage. I think Sheba needs therapy!
I even asked the big Critter about it and we agree!
What do you think? A vet, a treat addiction program or a therapist?