She kept ducking over to the next door neighbor’s house yesterday after being busy with the critters all day. I was not happy. You see, as the senior cat around here (and the smartest, if you ask me), I do not appreciate the rivals for my (constant) demands for attention.
And, what’s more, when she got home last night (with a doughnut) – not only did she not give me any, but she proceeded to tell me that her sister is having surgery today, so instead of staying here to give me her attention, guess where she plans to be? That’s RIGHT- helping her sister!!
In addition to that, she is threatening to put me on a diet, and (finish) trimming my claws when she gets back. This is completely unacceptable.
I look to Twilight for some backup, but she’s so busy prowling around outside on the playset, that she can’t take the time to help me convince the human that she belongs right here- petting me and spoiling me. See what I mean? I got some pictures to prove how UNhelpful Twilight is- what a cat brat!
The Can Opener slept in past 7:30 AGAIN today. I was not happy. I gave my very best, LOUDEST bugle call ever, and she still wouldn’t get up until 7:45! Meanwhile, my tummy was rumbling like a thunderstorm in a rainforest, and I just know I lost more weight. I think I even lost a few ounces in my paws this time- and that could be serious! What if my paw pads melt away before she wakes up and feeds me? Not only would I lose my absolutely darling pink paw pads, but I wouldn’t be able to walk! I’d have to just plop on my side and ROLL into the kitchen!
I mean, the Can Opener is sweet and everything, and she gives me lots of love, but you can’t live on love alone! You need Fancy Feast and whipped cream and treats and popcorn and shredded cheese too! And what happens when the Can Opener malfunctions? I can’t go on this way!
Of course, when she got up she told the Backup Can Opener that her tummy hurt- and he replied that he hadn’t slept all night- (he blames the surgery on his arm Saturday)- as if having your arm sliced open is an excuse for not feeding the poor underfed cat.
At least I finally got fed- a whole 10 minutes after the zombie finally got up- but by that time I was desperate enough to eat the first spider that came along- and that’s just plain gross!
Twilight says I’m being a selfish brat- I say, “Well, DUH! OF COURSE I AM! I’M A CAT!”