Today is warm and sunny and beautiful. Yesterday was too. But I wasn’t able to enjoy it. It seemed like all of creation set out to ruin my otherwise perfect day. It started the night before last when the Can Opener groomed me and cleaned my eyes and fed me and later tucked me into bed. Sounds great, right? Well it was. Until I got sick- seconds before she was getting into bed herself.
I know people think we cats don’t care if we make a mess for our humans to clean up, (actually some cats really don’t care)- but I’m not one of those. My human babies me and takes care of me (and just about everybody else) – and she’s always so tired when it’s bedtime. So it really didn’t set well with me that I got sick.
She didn’t get upset at me- she just took care of it like she always does, and then she comforted me and gave me snuggles so I wouldn’t feel bad. But somehow that made me feel worse.
So for the rest of the night I didn’t feel good. When everyone woke up yesterday morning, I still didn’t feel good and refused my favorite food when she gave it to me. I knew she felt bad for me but I couldn’t help it. Then the critters arrived, and she spent the whole day taking care of them, and her garden, and making dinner and doing laundry- and she even tried to play with me but I wasn’t up to it.
Then, when the critters finally went home yesterday, and I felt better, I wanted to go outside and lay in the sun. But the neighbors next door had a bbq, and every critter from here to New York was running around in MY YARD! And, as if that wasn’t bad enough, the other neighbors had all their sprinklers turned on so there was no nice, quiet, place for me to lay in the sun. Even Twilight ran inside and fell asleep in her box under the bed!
By the time things quieted down outside, and the sprinklers were turned off, it was time to go to bed again. And the human was too tired to play.
I hope today goes better – but it feels like a Grumpy Cat kind of day to me.
I love it when the Tiny One comes here every day. But today she spent so much time busy with school, and playing outside with her sister, and doing other cat un-friendly things (instead of snuggling me), that I felt left out.
Why? Because I feel like it. And I’m a cat, so I can. Yesterday Twilight posted about giving thanks… That’s typical of her because she’s a very happy little girl. So am I – until something doesn’t go my way. But it’s not my fault. I’m a tortoiseshell with white (calico)- we torties tend to be very vocal. So, here’s my list of why I plan on having a Whiny Wednesday.
The Can Opener fed me this morning. I should be thankful, right? Well I am- except that she fed me Tiki cat mackerel and tuna. There wasn’t enough of the juicy stuff and the chunks of mackerel were too hard to eat. I felt like I was eating a fishy pillow!
She gave me treats. Another thing Twilight said I should be thankful for. But what she didn’t tell me was that the “treats” are medicine!! They are Lysine chews!! What a dirty trick to pull on a sweet, unsuspecting cat like me. They taste like MEDICINE. Of course, I rejected them.
She brushed me. Here we go again. Another “thing to be thankful for”- but she used a new brush that is meant to de-shed me so I don’t get hairballs. Way to take the fun out of being brushed. *sigh*
She picked me up to cuddle me on her lap. And then, right when I was getting all relaxed and sleeepy, she sneezed. 17 times! (I’m typing this under the bed).
See? I’ve got a bunch of good reasons to whine! *Looking for some cheese…*
She kept ducking over to the next door neighbor’s house yesterday after being busy with the critters all day. I was not happy. You see, as the senior cat around here (and the smartest, if you ask me), I do not appreciate the rivals for my (constant) demands for attention.
And, what’s more, when she got home last night (with a doughnut) – not only did she not give me any, but she proceeded to tell me that her sister is having surgery today, so instead of staying here to give me her attention, guess where she plans to be? That’s RIGHT- helping her sister!!
In addition to that, she is threatening to put me on a diet, and (finish) trimming my claws when she gets back. This is completely unacceptable.
I look to Twilight for some backup, but she’s so busy prowling around outside on the playset, that she can’t take the time to help me convince the human that she belongs right here- petting me and spoiling me. See what I mean? I got some pictures to prove how UNhelpful Twilight is- what a cat brat!
The Can Opener slept in past 7:30 AGAIN today. I was not happy. I gave my very best, LOUDEST bugle call ever, and she still wouldn’t get up until 7:45! Meanwhile, my tummy was rumbling like a thunderstorm in a rainforest, and I just know I lost more weight. I think I even lost a few ounces in my paws this time- and that could be serious! What if my paw pads melt away before she wakes up and feeds me? Not only would I lose my absolutely darling pink paw pads, but I wouldn’t be able to walk! I’d have to just plop on my side and ROLL into the kitchen!
I mean, the Can Opener is sweet and everything, and she gives me lots of love, but you can’t live on love alone! You need Fancy Feast and whipped cream and treats and popcorn and shredded cheese too! And what happens when the Can Opener malfunctions? I can’t go on this way!
Of course, when she got up she told the Backup Can Opener that her tummy hurt- and he replied that he hadn’t slept all night- (he blames the surgery on his arm Saturday)- as if having your arm sliced open is an excuse for not feeding the poor underfed cat.
At least I finally got fed- a whole 10 minutes after the zombie finally got up- but by that time I was desperate enough to eat the first spider that came along- and that’s just plain gross!
Twilight says I’m being a selfish brat- I say, “Well, DUH! OF COURSE I AM! I’M A CAT!”