The Tiny Tornado is back!

Thank God she’s working on school now. If I hear Mickey Mouse one more time, I’m going to EAT HIM!

Well, the peace and quiet around here has left the building.

Okay, Put the stethoscope away, doctor- and don’t come near me with that thermometer!

I see why the human never has energy to play with me in the evenings lately- it’s that little tornado that buzzes around the house scattering toys and laughing gleefully the whole time. But she loves me and Sushi and even though I spend all my time dodging her, she does love to feed us treats -(I know it’s a trap, so I run as soon as I eat the treats and go where she can’t reach me)!

Sushi unfortunately, either doesn’t know the treats are bait, or she doesn’t care. She falls for it every time and ends up becoming the critter’s favorite toy until she finally falls asleep wherever she happens to be.

Actually, Sushi is just fine with that.

The Plot Against the Weatherman

Day Three

Okay, So there wasn’t a “Day One,” or a “Day Two.” That’s because today is the third straight day of icy cold rain and wind, and frankly, I didn’t think about plotting against the weatherman until today. My bad.

The Can Opener says, “Twilight, you’re a little grumpy today- feeling a little cattitude?” I asked her how she’d like her clothes shredded. (Never got an answer- she just sort of suddenly decided to get a cup of coffee and go clean something). I am so tired of rain. The entire backyard (which is my purrsonal playground), looks like a lake (except for all the mud)…. and I can’t go out and play and come in and leave nice, muddy pawprints on things like I normally would. There goes the highlight of my day.

To make matters worse, there’s a flock of at least 20 big fat ducks (and a pair of geese), who constantly hang out on the bike path behind our house at stare at me through the window while the rain is pouring down on them and I swear they’re daring me to come get them. Hope mom doesn’t mind the big puddle of drool in the windowsill.

photo by Omar Ramadan (Pexels)

Now those aren’t the same ducks that have been inviting me to dinner since this flooding started- the human actually made me have to find a picture that looked like them (“since you can’t go out and play anyway”)- It’s not my fault she’s too lazy to put a tarp on and stand out in the pouring rain and get me a picture.

And Sushi is no help at all. She’s perfectly content to stay inside and keep the couch from getting up and walking away.

Good God. Not even Hercules couldn’t pick that couch up with her on it.

So since Sushi is too lazy to play with me and the Can Opener says she can’t control the weather, my only choice is to go after the weatherman. But How?



Caturday Crazies!

IT’S A CATURDAY PLAYDAY!

Now that you’re all better, Mom- you owe me!

I told the Can Opener that now that she’s all better, it’s time to pay up- she owes me some SERIOUS playtime- (with interest). When I saw her have her coffee and prayer time this morning and then start baking cookies for the Critters and their parents, I knew she was feeling better, so I made it clear (by hijacking her desk chair), that I wanted to play.

So we played for a few minutes until I had to scratch… and then I had to bathe because she kept messing up my fur- and then I had to lick between my toes, because, well, I’m a cat, and I’d only done that 4 times today.

Well there’s something about me stopping a play session to fix my fur, scratch, lick between my toes, (and scratch my ears) that seems to tell the Can Opener, “I’m done playing.” Then she goes and gets busy with something else.

I don’t get what it is with her. My bathing and scratching session only lasts 20 minutes- I see absolutely no reason whatsoever why she can’t just sit there in front of me with the pink thingie, my mice, my golfballs, and pingpong balls, and a ribbon assortment and just wait until I’m done…with a big bucket of treats.


I guess I need to start training her all over again. Or maybe I’ll trade her in for a newer model.


See? He probably left a play session to groom too-

The Can Opener’s “Vacation”

I’ve been playing nurse to the Can Opener

Okay, I guess she’s off the hook- this time.

Our Can Opener is on a kind of vacation from watching the critters this week because the Backup Can Opener had surgery a few days ago and she needed to be available to take care of him. But today and the last two days she has been sick (with what we presume is the flu)- yesterday was the worst.

It started two days ago with sharp pains in her tummy, nausea, weakness and dizziness. She was unable to even sit up on the couch for more than a few minutes and was completely unable to eat without pain getting worse. That’s why there was no post this morning.

I’ve been following her around like a shadow to keep an eye on her, but I couldn’t get her to type for me. In fact, she really couldn’t do much of anything- but she did take care of Twilight and me- and then she did something I’ve never seen her do since I was adopted- nothing. Absolutely NOTHING.

We don’t know what’s wrong- but it looks like she’s getting better now, because her the critters’ parents dropped by some medicine for her this morning and within a few minutes of taking it, the pains stopped, the nausea stopped, and now she can eat again. Only, she still is very weak and lightheaded. We’ll be back tomorrow!

Hey! My paw pads haven’t melted!

Whiny Wednesday

it’s your fault, Twilight…

It’s just not fair!

The Can Opener slept in past 7:30 AGAIN today. I was not happy. I gave my very best, LOUDEST bugle call ever, and she still wouldn’t get up until 7:45! Meanwhile, my tummy was rumbling like a thunderstorm in a rainforest, and I just know I lost more weight. I think I even lost a few ounces in my paws this time- and that could be serious! What if my paw pads melt away before she wakes up and feeds me? Not only would I lose my absolutely darling pink paw pads, but I wouldn’t be able to walk! I’d have to just plop on my side and ROLL into the kitchen!

Oh, get a grip, Sushi!

I mean, the Can Opener is sweet and everything, and she gives me lots of love, but you can’t live on love alone! You need Fancy Feast and whipped cream and treats and popcorn and shredded cheese too! And what happens when the Can Opener malfunctions? I can’t go on this way!

Of course, when she got up she told the Backup Can Opener that her tummy hurt- and he replied that he hadn’t slept all night- (he blames the surgery on his arm Saturday)- as if having your arm sliced open is an excuse for not feeding the poor underfed cat.

At least I finally got fed- a whole 10 minutes after the zombie finally got up- but by that time I was desperate enough to eat the first spider that came along- and that’s just plain gross!

Twilight says I’m being a selfish brat- I say, “Well, DUH! OF COURSE I AM! I’M A CAT!”

Boy, I may just have to get myself a new Can Opener.

Tuesday Thanks

I’m a very thankful Cat. Sushi, maybe.

Giving Thanks in all things

Our humans believe in giving thanks and expressing gratitude in everything. Good for them. Don’t get me wrong- I (Twilight), am a very thankful cat. Here are some things I’m thankful for and why:

  • Claws: Yes. I’m thankful for claws. They have saved me from countless attempts to “bathe” me in a sink, which every cat out there knows is really code for “drown.”
  • Teeth: I’m especially grateful for teeth, because even when my claws are trimmed (against my will, I might add)- My teeth are a great backup. Besides, without teeth I couldn’t enjoy Fancy Feast and treats….and popcorn!
  • Redi Whip: I’m thankful for Redi Whip- You know, that purrfectly awesome yummy stuff that humans squirt directly in their mouth and then put the can back in the fridge- one day someone left it out on the counter after it was used, and I just “happened” to hop up onto the counter and I tasted it- I love it!
  • My Can Opener: Okay, in spite of baths, nail trims, ear cleaning, flea medicine, and all that othet fussy stuff, I guess I am thankful for the Can Opener- after all, she is the one who keeps the food coming.
  • The Backup Can Opener: I’m even thankful for the backup Can Opener, because if the primary one doesn’t work, there’s a backup- and because he lets me snag his oyster crackers and cheese nips.
  • Fancy Feast: My favorite food- but I usually give thanks after I eat, because I don’t believe in wasting a moment when it comes to eating. And last, but not least,
  • Treats: Another no brainer. I mean, not being thankful for treats is just plain ridiculous.

Now it’s Sushi’s turn: Let’s see what she’s thankful for

What? What does that have to do with my nap?

Okay, fine. Now go away, flea.

  • I’m thankful for naps. Goodnight.