Tag Archives: cat treats

Sushi’s Diet Chronicles

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Oops. I did it again!

The Can Opener has been really trying hard to help me trim down. But short of a pair of scissors, I don’t think it’s happening!

You see, the problem is, there’s food. And where there’s food, I’m there too… that is, as soon as I can get there. And if she opens tuna, I’m there a lot faster!

And it doesn’t help that Skinny little miss Twilight saunters by all slim and slick and makes me look like Mount Everest. I told her to quit doing that, but she never listens. And she gives me these snide looks when the Can Opener gives her treats as if to say, “I get more than you!”

(Twilight)- No I don’t, Mount -Sushi! And I can’t help it if I’m “slim and slick”- That’s because I don’t lay my head in my food bowl… and besides, I hunt all day, and all night if Mom lets me stay out- but the only thing you hunt is treats!

Mom- You might want to let Twilight out now-one of these days, I’m going to slither up behind her and SQUASH her like a bug!

By the way, is that salmon I smell?

Go Away, Twilight- you’re making me mad!

How to Train your Humans

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That’s it, Human. Good little human. Now hand over the treats and you can go have your coffee.

Training Your Human and the other pests in your house

Greetings fellow felines. It’s been a while since I’ve done some lessons on training those moron humans of ours. That’s because I’ve been so busy training my humans and Sushi that I’ve barely been able to keep up with my busy napping schedule.

As you may know by now, The Can Opener around here has been trying to help Sushi the fat cat to lose weight. I don’t think it’s working. She still is the small mountain in the middle of the rug that they have to walk around. So, being the great trainer that I am, I’ve been busy trying to assist the human in training Lardbutt- How?

Well, when I encounter a mountain in the middle of the living room, I climb it. (Sushi doesn’t like that), and since it makes her mad, she sits up to swat me. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! It makes her sit up and move! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

GET UP AND MOVE!
KNOCK IT OFF, FLEA!

Sometimes that’s the only way to get her to exercise. The Human tries to play with her, but sometimes she will only play for a little bit, and the human is dealing with the small critters all day (most days) too.

THAT’S MORE LIKE IT!

Now, when you work so hard to help your human do something, you should be rewarded, right? That’s what treats (and playtime for you) are all about.

If your human is too busy to play, you can trick them into it, by head bunting them, “asking for pets” … when they start to pet you, sit there and purr for a few minutes, then gently wrap your paws around their hand and attack! Not too hard, though- if you do it too hard, they’ll get upset and stop playing. They’re a little bratty that way.

Sometimes you also have to give them some gentle hints. Like dragging your favorite toy to them and sitting there waiting for them to wake up and figure it out. This is what I had to do with my Can Opener this morning….

  • For heaven’s sake, human. Drink the coffee and wake up. It’s playtime!
  • Where’s my feather toy? Let’s play!
  • HIGHER! I want to take down that plant too!
  • GOT IT!
  • STOP! Time for a good scratch….
  • Okay! Time to go outside and hunt. Thanks for the warmup!

Now my morning is off to a good start. Playtime accomplished, training Sushi accomplished, and demanded treats given. Now I can go conquer the rest of the world!

Hey, I’ll have to try this sometime!!!!!