Tag Archives: cat weight loss

How to Train your Humans

That’s it, Human. Good little human. Now hand over the treats and you can go have your coffee.

Training Your Human and the other pests in your house

Greetings fellow felines. It’s been a while since I’ve done some lessons on training those moron humans of ours. That’s because I’ve been so busy training my humans and Sushi that I’ve barely been able to keep up with my busy napping schedule.

As you may know by now, The Can Opener around here has been trying to help Sushi the fat cat to lose weight. I don’t think it’s working. She still is the small mountain in the middle of the rug that they have to walk around. So, being the great trainer that I am, I’ve been busy trying to assist the human in training Lardbutt- How?

Well, when I encounter a mountain in the middle of the living room, I climb it. (Sushi doesn’t like that), and since it makes her mad, she sits up to swat me. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! It makes her sit up and move! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

GET UP AND MOVE!
KNOCK IT OFF, FLEA!

Sometimes that’s the only way to get her to exercise. The Human tries to play with her, but sometimes she will only play for a little bit, and the human is dealing with the small critters all day (most days) too.

THAT’S MORE LIKE IT!

Now, when you work so hard to help your human do something, you should be rewarded, right? That’s what treats (and playtime for you) are all about.

If your human is too busy to play, you can trick them into it, by head bunting them, “asking for pets” … when they start to pet you, sit there and purr for a few minutes, then gently wrap your paws around their hand and attack! Not too hard, though- if you do it too hard, they’ll get upset and stop playing. They’re a little bratty that way.

Sometimes you also have to give them some gentle hints. Like dragging your favorite toy to them and sitting there waiting for them to wake up and figure it out. This is what I had to do with my Can Opener this morning….

Now my morning is off to a good start. Playtime accomplished, training Sushi accomplished, and demanded treats given. Now I can go conquer the rest of the world!


Sushi’s Sudden Surprise

They had a surprise for me today when the Critters left…

It’s all because the Vet said I need to go on a diet.

I’m not sure whether I should be happy or hissed. Because, the surprise was supposed to help me lose weight. I know my humans love me as I am- but the vet said I need to lose weight, so they’re looking for ways to get me moving. Purrsonally, I love sleeping. That’s moving- (I stretch and twitch my whiskers when I dream)!

This is what they came up with. I would’ve preferred a big steak. It’s easier.

What’s making that noise?
It jumped at me!
You woke me up for this?

I found out soon after the first encounter that there’s not one fish, but two.

Oh joy. They expect me to tackle it. But although it looks like a fish, it doesn’t SMELL like a fish. Who do they think they’re fooling? But, since I’m bored out of my mind, and the humans bought it for me to play with, I’ll humor them…. maybe they’ll give me a bucket of treats when I play enough.

For now, That fish wore me out. I need a nap. I earned it.

Man, that was hard work.