It didn’t go very well.
We fought over the Tiny Human. It started with The Tiny One wanting to play with me with my new wand toy. But Twilight decided she wanted the Tiny One all to herself…
That saucer of milk never happened. The “talk” did. It went like this;
After careful consideration, Twilight decided she’d rather go outside and play, so she did.
Meanwhile, while she went outside, I made a point of letting the Tiny One know I would love to play with her while Twilight was out. I’d even be helpful and take care of any stray treats she had laying around someplace neglected and forgotten. I knew the Tiny One is very conscientious and would want to help keep things clean, so I felt it would be rude to not offer my assistance. She agreed.
Thirty or so treats later, she decided we’d rather play than tidy up, and I agreed, since the chicken bites were looking almost empty.
The problem with the Tiny One playing with me though, is that her attention is too easily diverted to the swingset in the backyard. Pretty soon, she ditched me to go outside and play with the Can Opener and her sister. And the Human’s sister gave the little One a monkey to play with. And then, right after that, Sheba came out to play with her and her monkey. Just my luck!
I decided to take my nap- but Twilight had come in and took MY SPOT! *sigh*
Yesterday was a busy day for my Can Opener. The critters were here. 🙀
The big one was complaining a lot about random things, the tiny one was busy trying to see how many times she could walk across the back of the couch and jump down to the floor before making a hole in the floor, Sheba (the psycho next door )-kept popping in to see if our human had opened a can of tuna yet, Twilight kept nipping at the human’s feet to get her to play, and I threw up a few times- just to make sure the human didn’t forget I’m here.
It worked beautifully!
Today, however, I’m going to just rest and be cute- just to see if I can outdo myself. After all, there’s a lot to compete with around here for attention.
But don’t worry- I already left a nice surprise hairball in the kitchen floor for the Can Opener. That way she starts the day off knowing she’s loved. It’s important to show your loved ones you care.
Clues for Clueless Humans….
I sometimes hear people talking about their cats and some of the things they do that make their humans wonder what they’re doing. Being that we cats can’t tell you what we’re doing and why, (some of it is top secret stuff, and you just don’t have clearance- sorry)! I decided to find some videos (about the not top secret stuff) – to help you understand us a little better.
I may do this about once a week, because I know a lot of you humans need all the help you can get understanding us cats and our behaviors, because it’s clear some of you don’t even understand the humans in your life! Maybe I can at least help you with understanding the felines. If you have dogs, though, good luck. I can’t figure them out either.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
It’s a Creature Feature
Critter had to work on her schoolwork before playtime- unlike some kids, she loves her schoolwork- whether its in a workbook, abcmouse.com, or baking, and learning other skills, she delights in all of it and is full of joy! Then, she had time for some Play Doh hairstyling! (Just keep those scissors away from my whiskers, please)…
Lesson 6 : What to do, What not to do and When
Welcome back, students. I trust you’ve all been practicing your previous lessons- yes, even through Christmas break. After all, they call it “Christmas Break” for a reason- so, if you haven’t broken anything yet, GET STARTED! What are you waiting for?
“Why Breaking?” Well this accomplishes several desirable things explained below:
1.) It immediately gets your human’s attention! and what cat doesn’t want that?
2.) If you pretend to be scared out of your mind by the sudden loud noises of having “accidentally” knocked down and broken something, your Human’s first thought will be, “Oh my Gosh! Did you get hurt!?”
Bonus points! This usually leads to an immediate inspection to see if you’re injured, followed by lots of snuggles and some treats or catnip to “calm poor baby’s nerves!” Then you get the live entertainment of watching innocently while they deal with the big mess you made. 😹
What not to do; Don’t Get hurt!
1.) If you actually do get hurt, your human will likely zip you right to the vet for a checkup and X-rays, and you know what that means… a thermometer where you don’t want it!
2.) Even if they don’t put you through a rush to the vet, if you actually get hurt in the process of your breaking something, not only will you be unhappy, but there’s no “Workman’s comp” for cats. You’re on your own, dudes.
And depending on your injury, it could severely limit or cancel your other breaking plans, and seriously cramp your style- and if they put the “cone of shame” on you, the other cats will think you’re a moron and you lose your respect as a serious cat.
3.) Regardless of whether you actually get hurt or not in the course of doing your cat duties, remember this:
Always act hurt and scared! That way, they won’t get mad at you, they’ll just feel sorry for you and they’ll want to make it all better. This always means, lots of cuddles, sympathy play, treats, better food and catnip! They may even stay home from work to make sure you’re “okay!”
*Important Note* Don’t tell your humans you heard it here!
I grabbed the Can Openers’ iphone just now while she was in the shower- and took some selfies to post on Catbook! Check it out! I like this thing- it’s my favorite new toy!
Caturday at last!
Finally a little sunshine after days of freezing cold RAIN!
As soon as Sushi detects life in the kitchen, she’ll finally get up off my front paws so I can move, (assuming I can still walk)- and then I’m heading outside to find some mice!
It’s been a while since I’ve treated the Can Opener to breakfast in bed!
She had a rough day yesterday, with the little tiny critter having her heart set on a tea party and then being able to paint with the Can Opener…
But after the washing machine poured water all over the kitchen floor, that ruined their plans, and after that there was no satisfying the little rascal since the Can Opener had Lake Eerie pay an unexpected visit in her kitchen and had to spend the next couple of hours undoing the damage while trying to keep the critter from jumping in the BIG PUDDLE! Mol! 😹
I had decided to play it cool and stay out of the lake in the kitchen so I went to the nice leather desk chair to stay dry until somebody decided the world wasn’t really ending- but then the tiny critter remembered the chair SPINS!! 🙀
Time to go- breakfast Can wait!!