Tag Archives: cats

Hang in there- The Can Opener will be back Soon

We’ll make sure of it!

How to Train your Humans

GET OFF THE COUCH, FELINES! It’s time for another lesson on training those humans of yours!

Make them PLAY

One of a cats’ major complaints is having not having enough interaction and playtime with their human pets. Another complaint is not having enough (acceptable) toys to play with. This results in a bored (and slightly ticked) cat.

This is unacceptable for the serious cat. But our Can Openers are so preoccupied with working, keeping their two-legged critters out of trouble- (good luck with that)- shopping, and all that other boring human stuff that they don’t realize how stressed and maybe even hissed their feline bosses are.

When the humans are away, it’s vital to have some great toys to play with. Most humans don’t think about the fact that unlike them, we don’t usually have video games, iPhones and social media to keep us entertained when we get bored- and even a cat can only sleep so long.

In this picture, some of my pals show us what they do for fun when their humans forget to provide stimulating toys – They also share their toilet tissue review.


Sometimes if you’re lucky, one of those two-legged critters will leave something sitting on the counter in the kitchen that a bored cat can help themselves to when no one is looking.

With a little luck, it could be something really fun- like eggs – these are great to push off the counter. They aren’t toys, but there’s a very satisfying crack / thud when they hit the floor. And, when they break, you get a hefty snack!


Another fun idea is to check out other spaces in the kitchen- (not every human is thoughtful enough to leave eggs or butter on the counter). That’s why you need critters.

Picachu here has learned how to open the fridge. This could lead to a whole world of fun and food -(think Garfield’s lasagna)!

Or, you could just hide your trophies in there to surprise your favorite human!


P.S. You could always help the hamster escape too. Just to be kind. 😹


A Very Strange Neighbor

I really don’t know what to think!

I don’t know what’s wrong with this guy!

He comes over daily and just peeks in our windows hoping for a handout. He hangs around trees a lot, and eats our strawberries in the garden, and our blueberries- he runs all over the place and even gets into the cat food that my Human leaves out for my Mama (cat) to eat. He’s always there early in the morning– every morning– and he’s always digging around all over the place.

I’ve even seen him run out in the street in front of cars, and it’s amazing the dude is still alive. He’s rather twitchy, too- and always chattering. And he never seems to get enough to eat! And he even chews us out when he doesn’t get what he wants!

I’ve even seen him “planting” random things in people’s yards around here- but nobody seems to mind.

I have to say, If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was a little- well, squirrelly.

I think he’s the strangest neighbor around here!

😹

How to Train your Humans

It’s time for some more lessons on training your humans. I’d better get some coffee and get started!

Too many kittens out there have no clue.

It’s springtime- and with spring comes kitty litters! Freshly brewed cute, adorable, clueless kitties who have no idea how to grow into a respectable cat. That’s why they need me to teach them!

We cats are highly intelligent and resourceful, but a baby anything needs to be shown how to grow and thrive- and most importantly, how to rule their humans. Remember- we were once worshipped in Egypt.

So, kittens- (and cats who need a refresher course) – First, remember that humans are suckers for a cute little kitty face. Look up at them adoringly, making sure your eyes are big and innocent – (that way they won’t suspect you when you’re naughty). 😹


Next, remember to respond when they babble “talk” to you so they think you’re listening to the rules. This will increase your chances of being adopted because you’ll appear to be “trainable.”

Once you’ve convinced them you’re and adorable little innocent angel, and you get adopted you can start practicing training them!

If you practice enough, you can have them feeding you treats just because you’re cute!


If there are loud, two-legged Creatures who live in your new home, make friends with them quickly. Be sure to follow them around and sleep with them at night. Why?

1.) They have lots of toys. They like to play.

2.) They eat constantly. And they leave crumbs everywhere.

3.) They’ll leave the butter on the counter.

4.) They’ll grow up to be extra Can Openers.

5.) They’ll defend you when you do wrong.


Sooner or later they’ll decide to bathe you (it’s the grown-up human version of playing with Barbie dolls).

Just a heads up- Once you let them do this, it’s all over. They’ll think you like it and will insist on doing it for the rest of your pathetic life.

For the love of Ceiling Cat, DON’T let them do it. This is your cue to use your God-given weapons.

Teeth and CLAWS.

GOOD LUCK.


Now go practice on your un-suspecting humans and I’ll be back again soon with more lessons. ❤️☕💚


The Sushi Diet Chronicles

Mom- Call an ambulance- Twilight’s about to need one!

MOM! Twilight’s touching me!

I’m telling you, Mom- if she tries one more time to “make me play”- she’s going to need an ambulance! I was minding my own business, scratching new holes in the rug, and all of a sudden out of nowhere, WHAP! SHE HIT ME!

I didn’t hit her; I was trying to help her learn how to work out. (Are you buying it)?
Yeah? I’m gonna work YOU out! Besides- we’re CATS, we don’t work out. You were picking on me you little flea!

See Mom? Here’s the proof!

See Mom? I think Twilight needs some therapy- and I need some treats. A tuna or two will do just fine, thank you.


Thursday Therapy

Good morning. I’m your therapist today- Twilight has the day off to play golf with the Can Opener.
Enough golf, Mom. You smacked me with the ball! I’m going outside!

Maybe it’s time to go see my friends!

So far I’m going with happy.

Don’t look at me! He did it!


You can’t win this one, human!

Happy Thursday!

Mornings with Sushi

I’m still waiting for my coffee human. Why are you on your third cup without serving me?

It’s all about me, human. Move it.

And please quit telling me I need to lose weight. I know what the vet said- but look at me – I’m not even 20 pounds yet! You and I both know that I exercise regularly- It’s hard exercise walking from the bedroom to the kitchen every morning, and it’s even harder to jump up on the couch for my grooming. And anyway, I’m sure I lost almost a whole pound just trying to get away from you and your nail clippers!

Besides- Look how huge Twilight looks! I think you should put HER on a diet!
Nice try, Sushi- that’s not going to happen!

Fine. I’ll just take a nap. Wake me for lunch!

Friday Fab Felines

Nice- but I don’t eat daisies until they bloom- thanks anyway!

Happy FURiday!

I’m a very busy cat- I’ve got birds to chase, butterflies to catch, creatures to spy on, and at least 4 baths to take before sunset.

So, I’m sharing some giggles before I get busy with my cattiness. Enjoy!


Keep growing, Critters- America needs more Can Openers!