The Can Opener left me all alone to go to work. She’s going to hear about it when she gets home!
The Can Opener cut my grooming short
She said she had to go to work- I know she won’t be gone too long, but the problem is that she’s leaving at all! I don’t like it. She finally finished all her classes yesterday (which is why I couldn’t get her to type for me)- but today she still has too many distractions (like work, baking, important calls and appointments to make, and getting ready for the Critters to come tomorrow for the day). The usual unimportant stuff.
In other words, everything but poor, abandoned, adorable me. I’m going to pout now- but boy, is she going to get an earful when she gets home today! I’m going to realign her priorities whether she likes it or not!
The Can Opener got her coffee anyway today. We told her she wasn’t allowed to have coffee until she typed for us this morning. It was a great plan we had, actually. I was going to sit in front of the Keuring and refuse to move to let her put her mug there. And Sushi was going to block the path to it, because she wasn’t able to jump up on the beverage station and block it, so we figured, “Hey- She’s never climed a mountain before, so you block the path, Sushi….”
It was actually a great plan. But Sushi didn’t get close enough to the beverage station, so Mom walked around her. And I forgot one minor detail that prevented my successfully stopping her.
She can pick me up. That figures. So she got her coffee, then got to work, without even having time for her morning devotional or workout. There goes my playtime.
We’re still waiting for that cup of coffee, and our treats, Human. Can you hurry it up?
Good grief! Our Can Opener takes so long to get around to making our coffee in the morning. She says it’s because she takes care of us first, but the way we see it, “taking care of us” involves treats and coffee too- not just food, medicine, fresh filtered water and a clean litterbox.
Get with it, human.
I know, right? I’ve been trying to talk to her about it- but I don’t want to upset her- yet.
Twilight, how else is she going to get used to giving in to our demands if you’re so polite? The least she could do is pour a cup for us to knock off the counter, but no. She insists on serving herself first!
Sushi, you’re just cranky because you’re on meds. Give the Human a break. You know she takes care of us.
Sure- But you know that failing to serve us our cream (I mean, coffee)- and treats is not the standard we set. But anyway, I had big plans for today, and now I don’t have the energy to carry them out. I need energy to rule the world!
Oh get real, Sushi. You and I both know that the one who opens the cans rules the world!
Okay human, I can sit up by myself now. How about that coffee?
I don’t like Mondays. They make me get up.
I hate it when the Can Opener wakes me up on Mondays for no reason at all except that she thinks I’m cute. Of all the nerve! If it’s not that little Albino Flea swatting me on the head to make me play, it’s the Can Opener saying, “Come on, Sushi- It’s time to groom you!”
What the flea! I’m a CAT – I can groom myself- well, okay, except for my belly and my lower parts that I can’t really reach myself because I’m so beautifully upholstered… and that spot at the base of my tail that I can’t quite reach…but still. Those two are seriously disrupting my normal 18 hour a day sleep pattern. I’m going to disrupt something of theirs, too. Right after I get some coffee- extra cream, hold the coffee.
While I’m waiting for my coffee, I think I’d better read some comics so I can forget how irritated I am at those two lower life forms.
I feel better now. Unfortunately, it’s still Monday.
The coffee is a little weak this morning, Mom. In fact, it looks just like water… How about some expresso?
My Human has had a hard week. Good thing I’m here.
No, Human. I mean MY OWN cup!!
Every time my Can Opener seems like she’s able to move on from the loss of the Backup Can Opener in January, something always seems to happen to stir it all up again. Sushi and I have our paws full comforting her and trying to remind her to sing praise, (it lifts her above grief, sorrow and depression every time- if she just remembers to do it)! She never had to be reminded before. But now every day events bring back waves. We help her get through it.
We’re always hearing her sing praise and give thanks to the Lord for all He’s done for her and for the ways he has sustained and preserved her. Especially since the loss. But lately a couple of things have happened in the neighborhood that has never happened here before in the 15+ years we have lived here. One of those things was an act of violence against a woman down the street (who was attacked by her live-in- whoever). She was only walking to her car – the assailant followed her cursing and slammed her to the ground- she did absolutely nothing but try to get away. He tried to prevent her from getting into her car to leave- but she kept trying and she got in and locked the doors.
Then he went to the passenger side and tried to open it – (the Human and her sister and others saw it on the first warm, sunny day we had, when they were discussing plans for their gardens). They called the police right away- others just looked away.
Meanwhile, the assailant hung onto the car as the woman tried to drive away and he hung on for the longest time until she was able to go fast enough (without hurting him) to pull away and leave. He had thrown glass bottles at her as she was leaving, and other things- the neighbor closest to him who lives alone, watched it and did nothing but wait until the man went back in his house and then he cleaned up all the broken glass in the street and on the lawn.
The police came- but by the time the officer got here, the woman was gone and so was the assailant. That upset everyone in the neighborhood- but our Can Opener especially was grieved – she knows these things happen. But never has she seen it so close to her house. It left her (and her sister and others in the neighborhood) feeling vulnerable and almost as though they themselves had been assaulted.
This has always been a peaceful neighborhood where everyone watched after each other. Seeing this just added to the waves of (normal) grief that our human has been dealing with since January. It also showed her the need to pray for her neighbors. And to pray for the police officers and first responders who literally lay their lives on the line every time they show up for work.
For about 3 days our human couldn’t concentrate enough to help us post. But she has resumed singing praise when anxiety and depression rears its ugly head to threaten her peace, and every time it lifts her above all the chaos in the world and brings comfort, peace, and even joy in the middle of it all.
Jesus Himself is her peace. And He makes her know she’s not really alone- or vulnerable
Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled. Neither let them be afraid.
Okay, so maybe 1:45 is a little late to have coffee- but I need it for this job!
Sometimes being a cat is hard work.
So much is expected of cats these days. It used to be that all we were expected to do is lay around the house in sun puddles and be cute. But in today’s society, we’re expected to chase mice, kill bugs, play on demand, blog, be nice to the psycho cat next door, stay out of flowerbeds, quit scratching the critters that visit, and stay off the counters.
In addition to that, we’re asked to ‘wipe our paws’ when we come out of the litterbox, and not spread kitty litter all over the house. We’re forbidden to walk across the stove, or get in the refrigerator, and we’re not even allowed to scratch the furniture or climb the drapes anymore! And as soon as we finally finish the hard work of spreading our fur everywhere, out comes that stupid electronic beast to undo it all!
Yeah- It’s so depressing! And they wonder why I don’t “exercise!”
And even worse, we can’t leave our presents just anywhere in the house, either. Yesterday I brought a big, fat mouse into the kitchen to surprise the Can Opener with (she’s been needing a lot of extra love lately)- and she was surprised- but she wouldn’t touch it! All that hard work for NOTHING! So, I carried it next door and dropped it on the neighbor’s doorstep as a special thank you to her for all she’s done for the Can Opener lately. And she just flung it into the yard!
I’m feeling so unappreciated lately! Maybe I should’ve gotten myself some nip instead of coffee…
Sushi and I have decided to stop waiting on the Can Opener to feed us, and to take matters into our own paws. Our cousin, Serafina, gave us the idea. A couple of days ago, the Critters’ parents ran out of dry cat food and borrowed some of ours. The big Critter forgot to take it into the kitchen when she got home from being at our house, and Serafina decided she wasn’t going to wait for feeding time. See for yourself!
What a great idea! No wonder Serafina always looks so happy!
Last week, the Can Opener had a mystery surprise delivered and she couldn’t figure out why she got it- she hadn’t ordered anything- but when we opened it, and we loved it! It turns out, it was from one of the grown Critters that came from out of town when the Backup Can Opener went to heaven… and we knew right away it was for us!
Our Can Opener was so happy! She smiled bigger than we’ve seen her smile in WEEKS!
And of course, Sushi tried to claim it for herself– but that’s okay- as much as she sleeps, I don’t have to worry about it.
The Can Opener’s grown Critters are really sweet- when they came to help her care for the Backup Can Opener, they took turns caring for him at night so she could rest. They took her out to eat while their hubbies stayed with him because she was too stressed to even remember to eat. Now she’s worried about gaining weight! Anyway, they got her through it, and made things so much easier for her because she didn’t feel alone. And besides, she loves them and hadn’t seen them for a long time.
They brought gifts for her – and COFFEE- and new coffee mugs- and that made her smile too. And they sat around the hospital bed talking about their favorite memories of him. It’s amazing the difference a loving family makes at a time like that. They even thought about us kitties- and the Critters’ Dad, even said he would take over feeding Sushi and Me (and giving Sushi her medicine)- so Mom didn’t have to worry about forgetting to feed us.
But they’re gone back to their homes now- so Sushi and I aren’t playing games. We’re going to find ourselves some thumbs so we can open our own cans!
Oh my goodness! My cat slave is home where she belongs!
I missed you, human – now where’s my treats?
Did you realize that you were gone for 4 days and 3 nights? Didn’t your mom teach you how to tell time? What were you doing all that time? Wait- WHAT!!?? Watching WHAT cats?
Oh, Nevermind- Just pet me!
(But tomorrow, we need to have a talk)….You have a lot of explaining to do!
A NEW FURRY BED FOR ME??Oh! it’s so soft and cozy!
Okay, maybe I’ll forgive you-just this once.Maybe.
I’ll think about it overnight and give you an answer after my morning coffee.Meanwhile, DON’T GO ANYWHERE.
How to Train your Humans 