Tag Archives: fat cat

Full update coming soon

Thank you for not giving up on us.

Stage 4 Adrenocarcinoma

Our humans are in the fight of their lives- but God is so good to them in it all. They are strong and Sushi and I are making sure they stay that way.

Their strength is from The Lord-not their own. So that’s good- because those two Can Openers wouldn’t have a chance otherwise!

Our Can Opener has almost forgotten its Christmas! The family was called in and she hasn’t had even time to think since all this started.

She asked me and Sushi to update you all and to thank you for not giving up on our blog- all of you are also her source of strength. Sushi doesn’t do anything but sleep and hiss when we walk to close to her tail, so I decided I’d better do it.

She also said she hopes none of you are also going through anything like this- and that you all have a purrfect Christmas!

We’ll be back!! We love and appreciate every one of you! 🎄

Caturday Cat Careers

Sushi here to introduce my students who found new careers with my help!

It’s hard to be a Motivator with my heavy napping schedule.

But somehow, between listening to the human whine, uh- “tell me her troubles,”- and reminding her of exactly how often I should be fed – (Every time someone goes into the kitchen) – combined with my heavy napping schedule and keeping an eye on what Psycho Cat next door is doing, I still have managed to help quite a few intelligent cats like myself find new careers for themselves.

Today, I’d like for you to meet some of them:

Sophie- The Intervention Specialist.
Smudge- The Problem “Solver.”
Pixie- The English Tutor.
Athena- The Parental Advisor.
Grumpy Cat- The Financial Advisor.
Bugzie- The Negotiator.
Chubby- The Travel Agent.

For help starting your own lucrative cat career call Sushi at 1.800.Dont.Disturb.Me.


So, THAT’S what she was doing…

At first I thought Twilight was just a little…jealous. But now I know why she’s so upset!
This is Abby…. the blue thingie she’s laying on is apparently a heating pad- which any cat in its right mind would LOVE. But we didn’t have one.

So, human- would you care to explain?

You know, I would love to have a heating pad to claim as my own mom, but you haven’t given us one. Yet, I looked in your phone and found pictures of Abby lounging lazily on a nice, warm heating pad in tons of pictures taken while you were away. FOR OUR THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY.

There’s Serafina (with her tongue hanging out) also- lounging lazily on top of the sound bar in front of the tv. You don’t let US do that!

And then there’s these….

Now, we all know that’s YOUR laptop, Mom. Why would you let another cat near your laptop? That’s our EXCLUSIVE right!

And then there’s THIS. (You’d better have a GOOD EXPLANATION FOR THIS ONE)…

WHO DID YOU CUDDLE AND BRUSH WHILE WE WERE HERE WITHOUT YOU, MOM? That’s YOUR COFFEE MUG!

You may apply for forgiveness- (no later than 10 am tomorrow morning)- but there’s no guarantee of acceptance. Just sayin.’


Be careful how you answer, human.

The Can Opener’s Guilt Offering

A new bed to ignore!
The bed was expensive- so I can never let her see me in it. I’ll use the box instead.
That’s the reason I can’t use it.
HEY! YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE!
Don’t be an idiot, Twilight. It’s so COMFY!
She bought me one just like it.
So if you won’t use it, I’ll use it in the evenings when Mom’s on the computer.
And now I have TWO. Go use your box.

Fine! Then I’ll take this one back!



The Return of the Can Opener

Oh my goodness! My cat slave is home where she belongs!

I missed you, human – now where’s my treats?

Did you realize that you were gone for 4 days and 3 nights? Didn’t your mom teach you how to tell time? What were you doing all that time? Wait- WHAT!!?? Watching WHAT cats?

Oh, Nevermind- Just pet me!

(But tomorrow, we need to have a talk)….You have a lot of explaining to do!

A NEW FURRY BED FOR ME?? Oh! it’s so soft and cozy!
Okay, maybe I’ll forgive you-just this once. Maybe.

I’ll think about it overnight and give you an answer after my morning coffee. Meanwhile, DON’T GO ANYWHERE.


Tuesday Tumble

Photo by Noğman Hatice from Pexels
The Can Openers can’t play, and it’s raining. I’m bored.
So take a nap like I do- You’re a cat- it’s the perfect excuse.

I’m done being bored because of rain. What to do?

There. That’s better.


Evening Coffee with Sushi

It’s cute little me again.

Yes- You read that right. Coffee @ 5pm.

It’s been that kind of week. My human dad is starting to finally get better. But I don’t like that our Can Opener has been so busy. Up late at night, and not playing with us very much. She still snuggles and grooms us and spoils us- she just doesn’t have the time and energy to play much. I think they call that stress.

We had some bomb cyclones here -(which our humans had never heard of before)- and Holy Freaking Cat Whiskers! It rained so HARD and the trees were blowing everything around and it was making an awful lot of noise. We thought the rain would never end- and Twilight was going nuts because she’s not used to staying inside so much. Didn’t bother me, though- I just settle down on the Can Opener’s lap and take a longer nap.

We were lucky, though- we pretty much just got slammed with heavy winds, and rain- tons of rain! Other parts of the Northwest weren’t so lucky.

We are also hearing helicopters flying over head every.single.night! Over and over again and things are just weird.

Leaves swirling around everywhere is a beautiful thing to watch- but the rain was so hard and fast, the Can Opener couldn’t get very many pictures.

Our Human fixed up a dry, cozy spot for Twilight’s Mama who faithfully comes around every night to get her dinner and play with Twilight. She is cozy, dry and warm even in the middle of it.

It’s dinnertime, Mom. Get off the computer!

Just a reminder to all you felines out there to do your job.

Our lazy human did it again.

Last night when we wanted her to type for us she said she couldn’t. Why? Because Dad is sick. Thanks, Mom.

What does that have to do with typing for us?

So our human dad has been sick since Wednesday, and our human has been busy trying to keep his fever down, and keep him comfortable. We don’t have a problem with that, because that’s just what she does. But she normally takes dictation for us too, and last night, she said she just couldn’t take the time.

What?? But THAT’S WHY WE KEEP YOU AROUND, HUMAN! Well, that and feeding us, dispensing treats, and of course, cleaning the litterbox, grooming us, delivering pets and cuddles on demand, let’s not forget providing flea treatment, and playtime on demand.

We are tempted to fire her, but that wouldn’t do any good because she’d never leave. And the backup human is still feeling lousy, so he wouldn’t even notice us. Great.

Meanwhile, psycho Twilight continues to plague me by coming over when I’m sleeping (I’m not even getting my usual 20 hours now)- and grooming me sweetly, then POUNCING on me trying to make me play!!

See? How rude. Anybody wanna buy a psychotic lynx point siamese?

Don’t believe her- I’m innocent!

Thankful, (Rainy) Tuesday

Rain, Rain, and More Rain.

I can’t play outside unless I want a shower- and from the looks of it, If this keeps up, I’ll need to swim! But I am (sort of) thankful for the rain. Because now there’s no more wildfire smoke choking out my air and making my fur smell like awful.

And, it does keep my grass beautifully soft and green, and makes it grow better so I have plenty of places to lurk around waiting for Sheba to saunter by so I can jump out and scare the whiskers off her!!!

Mom- I’m not doing “A little Obsessed!”

I’m also thankful that The Can Opener is making Sushi exercise every day- but I think she gets more of a workout sharpening her claws on the mat, than she does playing and constantly trying to follow her food dish until the human sets it down.

I need it to stop raining though- even though the humans love it- because the little Critters will be here tomorrow, and if it’s raining, and they’re stuck inside, and I’m stuck inside, it’s not going to be good…..I just may be tempted to get micheivious…just sayin.’

I’d better start planning now…

How to Train your Humans

That’s it, Human. Good little human. Now hand over the treats and you can go have your coffee.

Training Your Human and the other pests in your house

Greetings fellow felines. It’s been a while since I’ve done some lessons on training those moron humans of ours. That’s because I’ve been so busy training my humans and Sushi that I’ve barely been able to keep up with my busy napping schedule.

As you may know by now, The Can Opener around here has been trying to help Sushi the fat cat to lose weight. I don’t think it’s working. She still is the small mountain in the middle of the rug that they have to walk around. So, being the great trainer that I am, I’ve been busy trying to assist the human in training Lardbutt- How?

Well, when I encounter a mountain in the middle of the living room, I climb it. (Sushi doesn’t like that), and since it makes her mad, she sits up to swat me. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! It makes her sit up and move! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

GET UP AND MOVE!
KNOCK IT OFF, FLEA!

Sometimes that’s the only way to get her to exercise. The Human tries to play with her, but sometimes she will only play for a little bit, and the human is dealing with the small critters all day (most days) too.

THAT’S MORE LIKE IT!

Now, when you work so hard to help your human do something, you should be rewarded, right? That’s what treats (and playtime for you) are all about.

If your human is too busy to play, you can trick them into it, by head bunting them, “asking for pets” … when they start to pet you, sit there and purr for a few minutes, then gently wrap your paws around their hand and attack! Not too hard, though- if you do it too hard, they’ll get upset and stop playing. They’re a little bratty that way.

Sometimes you also have to give them some gentle hints. Like dragging your favorite toy to them and sitting there waiting for them to wake up and figure it out. This is what I had to do with my Can Opener this morning….

Now my morning is off to a good start. Playtime accomplished, training Sushi accomplished, and demanded treats given. Now I can go conquer the rest of the world!