I can’t play outside unless I want a shower- and from the looks of it, If this keeps up, I’ll need to swim! But I am (sort of) thankful for the rain. Because now there’s no more wildfire smoke choking out my air and making my fur smell like awful.
And, it does keep my grass beautifully soft and green, and makes it grow better so I have plenty of places to lurk around waiting for Sheba to saunter by so I can jump out and scare the whiskers off her!!!
I’m also thankful that The Can Opener is making Sushi exercise every day- but I think she gets more of a workout sharpening her claws on the mat, than she does playing and constantly trying to follow her food dish until the human sets it down.
I need it to stop raining though- even though the humans love it- because the little Critters will be here tomorrow, and if it’s raining, and they’re stuck inside, and I’m stuck inside, it’s not going to be good…..I just may be tempted to get micheivious…just sayin.’
Training Your Human and the other pests in your house
Greetings fellow felines. It’s been a while since I’ve done some lessons on training those moronhumans of ours. That’s because I’ve been so busy training my humans and Sushi that I’ve barely been able to keep up with my busy napping schedule.
As you may know by now, The Can Opener around here has been trying to help Sushi the fat cat to lose weight. I don’t think it’s working. She still is the small mountain in the middle of the rug that they have to walk around. So, being the great trainer that I am, I’ve been busy trying to assist the human in training Lardbutt- How?
Well, when I encounter a mountain in the middle of the living room, I climb it. (Sushi doesn’t like that), and since it makes her mad, she sits up to swat me. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! It makes her sit up and move! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Sometimes that’s the only way to get her to exercise. The Human tries to play with her, but sometimes she will only play for a little bit, and the human is dealing with the small critters all day (most days) too.
Now, when you work so hard to help your human do something, you should be rewarded, right? That’s what treats (and playtime for you) are all about.
If your human is too busy to play, you can trick them into it, by head bunting them, “asking for pets” … when they start to pet you, sit there and purr for a few minutes, then gently wrap your paws around their hand and attack! Not too hard, though- if you do it too hard, they’ll get upset and stop playing. They’re a little bratty that way.
Sometimes you also have to give them some gentle hints. Like dragging your favorite toy to them and sitting there waiting for them to wake up and figure it out. This is what I had to do with my Can Opener this morning….
Now my morning is off to a good start. Playtime accomplished, training Sushi accomplished, and demanded treats given. Now I can go conquer the rest of the world!
The Can Opener wouldn’t let me stay outside tonight because it’s going to be cold- and she wanted to play with me.
We were having fun- kicking my favorite golf ball back and forth, along with some of my other favorite toys that I haven’t played with for a while (because I love to stay out at night).
But then we wanted to play with the feather toy, and Sushi woke up and gave me a dirty look for playing with her toy- and since I didn’t want to get flattened by her sitting on me, I decided to hop up on the counter and then on top of the fridge, and then on top of the kitchen cabinets and stay there until she fell asleep – (she can’t get to me up there).
I have to admit I don’t like that the human has me on a diet, but in spite of my best attempt at pleading eyes, she still insists on keeping me on it. It’s downright depressing. Twilight gets to eat whenever she wants- “but Twilight’s only 8 pounds!”- or so the Human says. It’s still not fair. I mean, look at me. I’m twice her size, (and older) so I say I have seniority here. Obviously if I’m bigger, I need more food. But NO! According to the vet, I need less food, and the human is doing her best to see to it. Dangit.
But, at least one great thing comes with it….
And that is that the Can Opener schedules daily playtime with me now and makes it as much of a priority as her own workouts! She bought me a new toy, and Oh, my CATS I love it! Hey, at least she doesn’t make me do her workouts- holy catnip! Mine are a lot more fun! See for yourself!
Whew! I’m exhausted! I still hate being on a diet, but now I know I’ll get scheduled playtime every day because the human thinks its important for me.
It’s all because the Vet said I need to go on a diet.
I’m not sure whether I should be happy or hissed. Because, the surprise was supposed to help me lose weight. I know my humans love me as I am- but the vet said I need to lose weight, so they’re looking for ways to get me moving. Purrsonally, I love sleeping. That’s moving- (I stretch and twitch my whiskers when I dream)!
This is what they came up with. I would’ve preferred a big steak. It’s easier.
I found out soon after the first encounter that there’s not one fish, but two.
Oh joy. They expect me to tackle it. But although it looks like a fish, it doesn’t SMELL like a fish. Who do they think they’re fooling? But, since I’m bored out of my mind, and the humans bought it for me to play with, I’ll humor them…. maybe they’ll give me a bucket of treats when I play enough.
For now, That fish wore me out. I need a nap. I earned it.
I needed the Can Opener to go to sleep so I could track down the new bag of treats she’s been hiding from Twilight and me. So I decided to snuggle up with her when the Tiny One took her nap, and conveniently “nap” on her lap until she fell asleep.
But the problem is, the Can Opener never takes a nap. She reads, or plays games or just talks with someone while the Tiny One sleeps- only this time, luckily, she did fall asleep because the night before she had tossed and turned all night.
I thought it would be a breeze to just sneak off while they slept and find my delicious bag of treats. Unfortunately, I fell asleep for real. By the time I woke up to begin my treat hunt, the Can Opener was already trying to wake up the little One.
So, I didn’t have the chance I thought I would to track down the treat bag. I guess next time I’ll have to try harder to just look asleep. But I did get a lot of love and snuggles and my belly rubbed a lot.
Twilight says she is going to teach me her tricks- I don’t know what she does differently, but she sure knows how to get what she wants every time. So, I guess after she teaches me her tricks I’ll try again. Meanwhile, I’ll settle for the best tummy rubs I’ve ever had in all my 9 lives!
She’s going to be a great cat slave when she gets bigger…
I think the reason I love her so much is just because of the way the she lights up when she sees me come into the room, and because she’s always begging the Can Opener to let her feed me treats. The best part is, she never just feeds me “3 or 4” like the Can Opener says- she keeps feeding me more and more and more (until the human catches her). This morning she fed me almost half a bag before the Can Opener caught her and took them away! (Twilight would be so mad)! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
But I heard the Can Opener tell her she can’t keep feeding me treats if she’s going to give me so many because she doesn’t want me to “get fat!”
But the critter likes me “fat”- and I like the treats. I’m going to have to have a long talk with that Can Opener of mine. This is against the Critter’s constitutional right to “purrsue life, liberty, and (my) happiness!”