Our humans are in the fight of their lives- but God is so good to them in it all. They are strong and Sushi and I are making sure they stay that way.
Their strength is from The Lord-not their own. So that’s good- because those two Can Openers wouldn’t have a chance otherwise!
Our Can Opener has almost forgotten its Christmas! The family was called in and she hasn’t had even time to think since all this started.
She asked me and Sushi to update you all and to thank you for not giving up on our blog- all of you are also her source of strength. Sushi doesn’t do anything but sleep and hiss when we walk to close to her tail, so I decided I’d better do it.
She also said she hopes none of you are also going through anything like this- and that you all have a purrfect Christmas!
We’ll be back!! We love and appreciate every one of you! 🎄
It’s hard to be a Motivator with my heavy napping schedule.
But somehow, between listening to the human whine, uh- “tell me her troubles,”- and reminding her of exactly how often I should be fed – (Every time someone goes into the kitchen) – combined with my heavy napping schedule and keeping an eye on what Psycho Cat next door is doing, I still have managed to help quite a few intelligent cats like myself find new careers for themselves.
Today, I’d like for you to meet some of them:
For help starting your own lucrative cat career call Sushi at 1.800.Dont.Disturb.Me.
You know, I would love to have a heating pad to claim as my own mom, but you haven’t given us one. Yet, I looked in your phone and found pictures of Abby lounging lazily on a nice, warm heating pad in tons of pictures taken while you were away. FOR OUR THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY.
There’s Serafina (with her tongue hanging out) also- lounging lazily on top of the sound bar in front of the tv. You don’t let US do that!
And then there’s these….
Now, we all know that’s YOUR laptop, Mom. Why would you let another cat near your laptop? That’s our EXCLUSIVE right!
And then there’s THIS. (You’d better have a GOOD EXPLANATION FOR THIS ONE)…
You may apply for forgiveness- (no later than 10 am tomorrow morning)- but there’s no guarantee of acceptance. Just sayin.’
It’s been that kind of week. My human dad is starting to finally get better. But I don’t like that our Can Opener has been so busy. Up late at night, and not playing with us very much. She still snuggles and grooms us and spoils us- she just doesn’t have the time and energy to play much. I think they call that stress.
We had some bomb cyclones here -(which our humans had never heard of before)- and Holy Freaking Cat Whiskers! It rained so HARD and the trees were blowing everything around and it was making an awful lot of noise. We thought the rain would never end- and Twilight was going nuts because she’s not used to staying inside so much. Didn’t bother me, though- I just settle down on the Can Opener’s lap and take a longer nap.
We were lucky, though- we pretty much just got slammed with heavy winds, and rain- tons of rain! Other parts of the Northwest weren’t so lucky.
We are also hearing helicopters flying over head every.single.night! Over and over again and things are just weird.
Leaves swirling around everywhere is a beautiful thing to watch- but the rain was so hard and fast, the Can Opener couldn’t get very many pictures.
Our Human fixed up a dry, cozy spot for Twilight’s Mama who faithfully comes around every night to get her dinner and play with Twilight. She is cozy, dry and warm even in the middle of it.
So our human dad has been sick since Wednesday, and our human has been busy trying to keep his fever down, and keep him comfortable. We don’t have a problem with that, because that’s just what she does. But she normally takes dictation for us too, and last night, she said she just couldn’t take the time.
What?? But THAT’S WHY WE KEEP YOU AROUND, HUMAN! Well, that and feeding us, dispensing treats, and of course, cleaning the litterbox, grooming us, delivering pets and cuddles on demand, let’s not forget providing flea treatment, and playtime on demand.
We are tempted to fire her, but that wouldn’t do any good because she’d never leave. And the backup human is still feeling lousy, so he wouldn’t even notice us. Great.
Meanwhile, psycho Twilight continues to plague me by coming over when I’m sleeping (I’m not even getting my usual 20 hours now)- and grooming me sweetly, then POUNCING on me trying to make me play!!
See? How rude. Anybody wanna buy a psychotic lynx point siamese?
I can’t play outside unless I want a shower- and from the looks of it, If this keeps up, I’ll need to swim! But I am (sort of) thankful for the rain. Because now there’s no more wildfire smoke choking out my air and making my fur smell like awful.
And, it does keep my grass beautifully soft and green, and makes it grow better so I have plenty of places to lurk around waiting for Sheba to saunter by so I can jump out and scare the whiskers off her!!!
I’m also thankful that The Can Opener is making Sushi exercise every day- but I think she gets more of a workout sharpening her claws on the mat, than she does playing and constantly trying to follow her food dish until the human sets it down.
I need it to stop raining though- even though the humans love it- because the little Critters will be here tomorrow, and if it’s raining, and they’re stuck inside, and I’m stuck inside, it’s not going to be good…..I just may be tempted to get micheivious…just sayin.’
Training Your Human and the other pests in your house
Greetings fellow felines. It’s been a while since I’ve done some lessons on training those moronhumans of ours. That’s because I’ve been so busy training my humans and Sushi that I’ve barely been able to keep up with my busy napping schedule.
As you may know by now, The Can Opener around here has been trying to help Sushi the fat cat to lose weight. I don’t think it’s working. She still is the small mountain in the middle of the rug that they have to walk around. So, being the great trainer that I am, I’ve been busy trying to assist the human in training Lardbutt- How?
Well, when I encounter a mountain in the middle of the living room, I climb it. (Sushi doesn’t like that), and since it makes her mad, she sits up to swat me. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! It makes her sit up and move! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Sometimes that’s the only way to get her to exercise. The Human tries to play with her, but sometimes she will only play for a little bit, and the human is dealing with the small critters all day (most days) too.
Now, when you work so hard to help your human do something, you should be rewarded, right? That’s what treats (and playtime for you) are all about.
If your human is too busy to play, you can trick them into it, by head bunting them, “asking for pets” … when they start to pet you, sit there and purr for a few minutes, then gently wrap your paws around their hand and attack! Not too hard, though- if you do it too hard, they’ll get upset and stop playing. They’re a little bratty that way.
Sometimes you also have to give them some gentle hints. Like dragging your favorite toy to them and sitting there waiting for them to wake up and figure it out. This is what I had to do with my Can Opener this morning….
Now my morning is off to a good start. Playtime accomplished, training Sushi accomplished, and demanded treats given. Now I can go conquer the rest of the world!