Tag Archives: felines

How to Train your Humans

That’s it, Human. Good little human. Now hand over the treats and you can go have your coffee.

Training Your Human and the other pests in your house

Greetings fellow felines. It’s been a while since I’ve done some lessons on training those moron humans of ours. That’s because I’ve been so busy training my humans and Sushi that I’ve barely been able to keep up with my busy napping schedule.

As you may know by now, The Can Opener around here has been trying to help Sushi the fat cat to lose weight. I don’t think it’s working. She still is the small mountain in the middle of the rug that they have to walk around. So, being the great trainer that I am, I’ve been busy trying to assist the human in training Lardbutt- How?

Well, when I encounter a mountain in the middle of the living room, I climb it. (Sushi doesn’t like that), and since it makes her mad, she sits up to swat me. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! It makes her sit up and move! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

GET UP AND MOVE!
KNOCK IT OFF, FLEA!

Sometimes that’s the only way to get her to exercise. The Human tries to play with her, but sometimes she will only play for a little bit, and the human is dealing with the small critters all day (most days) too.

THAT’S MORE LIKE IT!

Now, when you work so hard to help your human do something, you should be rewarded, right? That’s what treats (and playtime for you) are all about.

If your human is too busy to play, you can trick them into it, by head bunting them, “asking for pets” … when they start to pet you, sit there and purr for a few minutes, then gently wrap your paws around their hand and attack! Not too hard, though- if you do it too hard, they’ll get upset and stop playing. They’re a little bratty that way.

Sometimes you also have to give them some gentle hints. Like dragging your favorite toy to them and sitting there waiting for them to wake up and figure it out. This is what I had to do with my Can Opener this morning….

Now my morning is off to a good start. Playtime accomplished, training Sushi accomplished, and demanded treats given. Now I can go conquer the rest of the world!


Fab Furball Friday!

I’m posting about fabulous furballs today- so of course, I have to start with myself!

Fabulous felines who know how to get what they want

I need to be more professional in my safety violations…
This sweetheart is very compassionate for the poor little canary all locked up. He believes in freedom!
This kitty knows how to use “wind” to his advantage!

I agree! Order some squirrels from Amazon, Mom.
This guy is apparently good at spelling…


And just in case you’re still not smiling,…. here’s one more reason!

Just to help you appreciate how flipping pawsome I am.

Friday Fab Felines

I’m still WAITING…

Before I get to the other fabulous felines…

I just have to say, I have a complaint. Yep. Whether she realizes it or not, the Primary Can Opener around here is the Complaint Dept. I would think the critters have already made that abundantly clear. But somehow she remains clueless. At least where I’m concerned. Why, you say?

Well, for example, I’ve been sitting here patiently in front of the Kuerig all flipping morning, asking for a cup of coffee. But she doesn’t get it. I think that’s unfair. I have a constitutional RIGHT to the purrsuit of happiness, and I’ve been purrsuing coffee all morning and she just helps herself to a cup the size of Texas, and I have to lick whatever drippings the Kuerig leaves behind. I am not pleased. Time to get a refund.

Okay, now that I’ve got that off my furry little chest, I think I’d better introduce you to some fabulous felines (not as fabulous as me, sorry)- before my frustration boils over and I scratch her to ribbons. Then I’ll be grounded (no pun intended) from treats too. She’s so clueless.


Thanks for stopping by!