The Can Opener was grooming me in her lap tonight while she watched an earthquake report- and when she stopped brushing me, I noticed a bowl on the couch that had a delightful smell- so of course, I had to investigate- just to make sure there wasn’t anything in it that might make Mom sick.
It would be a terrible tragedy if our Can Opener was snacking on something and discovered (too late)- that there was a bug in it, or something else in it, so I walked off her lap to give it a safety check…
Hmmm- it has a sour smell – citrusy- Better make sure it’s not poison..,
Ok, Mom! I licked them all- they’re not bad! You can eat them now!
I’m exhausted after my “workout” – I worked so hard watching the Can Opener do hers- now I need a nap!
Note to Can Opener: I don’t do diets!
I know the Can Opener thinks it’s important to exercise and watch your diet. But I do ‘watch’ my diet. I watch it sit there in the bowl until I devour it!
But after that, the bowl is empty, so what the flea and I supposed to be “watching?”
Oh- maybe this is what she means about ‘watching my diet’-
Fine- I’ll leave the pickles (and mustard) off my burgers.
And I don’t get why she is always trying to make me exercise. I do exercise! Do you have any idea the amount of energy it takes to snore? It’s exhausting!
But I do exercise in other ways—when she’s not looking- (because she doesn’t like it when I do this- so I do it in the middle of the night while she’s sleeping- that way she thinks Twilight did it)…
I’ll never tell…
And this counts as exercise…
But she’ll never catch me doing it…I’ve even tried fishing- but the fish fights back!
Honestly, I don’t know what kind of exercise she expects a slender 17.9 pound cat to do! But I have found one exercise I really love to do…
Becoming a speed bump!
Those critters need something to stop them on those noisy scooters! 😹
Yes, that’s right! Today is actually a National Holiday to celebrate those cute little furry angels everyone loves. Not only have we adorable cats taken over the internet, but we actually are also the reason for a few National Holidays!
Did you know that we cats have been domesticating our humans for more than 12,000 years? That’s right! We may sleep a lot, but we work fast when we wake up. Since we started domesticating humans, people have found so many reasons to love us, that Pet expert and advocate Colleen Paige started National Kitten day to draw attention to the cute little kittens needing good homes and help them find the love and care they need and deserve.
I mean, look at that little face! I used to be a kitten once- and believe it or not, Sushi was too…maybe. Anyway, we kitties start learning early on how to make humans fall in love with us- It starts with our big eyes, and big ears and delicate little meows, and BAM! Before you know it, you can’t get enough of us!
Did you know that research has shown that people who take short breaks throughout the day to look at cute animal pictures are more productive? We’re not only adorable to look at and play with, but having a cat around has also been proven to lower blood pressure, lower stress levels, improve your mood, and even reduce your risk of heart attacks (unless you step on their tail in the middle of the night)!
So go ahead and look at all those cute kitty photos, or take some fun pictures of your own kitties- if you don’t have a kitten, visit your local shelter where you’ll find lots of kittens (and adult cats) who are longing to be adopted. Bring a few treats- and give them some love, and you’ll have a furry friend for life!
Not that she deserves it, mind you- but I want treats!
That Dang Vet told her to cut back my treats!
This is because at my last visit, I had gained weight- (because of that steroid shot they gave me last summer)- so the Can Opener doesn’t let me “free feed” anymore- now I get fed at specific times of day (on the Can Opener’s open schedule)- I’ll starve!!!!
I think I’ve already lost a few precious ounces… my paws feel smaller- I think that’s enough- besides, when she brushes me, she brushes off at least 3 pounds of my fur- and I’m sure some of that has to be Twilight’s fur that just kind of landed on me when she walked by.
So if part of my “weight” is just fur- and if most of that is Twilight’s fur that just settles on me when I’m minding my own business, sleeping in the carpet… then WHY am I on a diet?
I think she should just suck Twilight up in the vacuum and I’ll immediately lose weight. Think she’ll believe me?
Me either- But tomorrow I’m going to try to convince her. Meanwhile, I’m going to cuddle her tonight and be really, really sweet- maybe she’ll cut me some slack in the morning and load me up on treats!
After all, it’s not my fault that I’m 17 pounds of pure love!There’s always option two….
I don’t care what Twilight says- I still say I’m the most fab feline you’ll ever see. But, just to humor Twilight, we’ll take a look at some others too!
How to Train your Humans 