Update From the Can Opener
The last time I posted, I had hardly published what I had written when my sister called again, crying, and saying -“it’s happening again!” I dropped everything and went to her house immediately, and this time I knew it wasn’t going to just pass on its own.
I had been taking care of her when these things happened, but this time I could see how hard her heart was pounding from the front door. I pulled up the heart monitor on her Apple watch and knew we needed to call 9-1-1.
Within minutes this was confirmed as EMTs loaded her into the ambulance and whisked her off to the hospital. I plunged into action, to take care of the mess left behind in the house, and to take care of Sheba and Smokey until she got home from the hospital.
That didn’t happen until a week later, and things looked scary. The doctors had said she’d had a massive heart attack and had got there just in time.
It has always hurt me to see how painful and afraid she was, so I spent a lot of time praying for her healing and safe return. I’m so relieved that now, over a month later, she is doing better than she was before those sudden attacks started happening. It turns out those “attacks” weren’t from a pinched nerve, or stress and anxiety- they were mini heart attacks!
Because of being sent back and forth and languishing so long in the ER waiting for care the first two times she went, she had decided she wasn’t going to bother going to ER again. She was just going to ‘wait them out.’
Every time she’d had an attack, I’d known this was a possibility- but the doctors were saying otherwise, and she is not able to just sit in a chair in a waiting room for over 8 hours (to only end up going home in tears from pain with no diagnosis). Every time this happened I would ask the Lord to give me wisdom for each situation and to protect and preserve her until she got a correct diagnosis. I’m so thankful He did.
While she was in the hospital, I was looking after her house and taking care of Sheba and Smokey, and the realization hit me that this Christmas was going to be my first since my husband passed and that I could have very easily lost my sister and best friend if she had decided to ‘wait out’ this attack also.
With also watching my grand-daughters, helping them with school, and the usual responsibilities, my blog had to fall by the wayside because I simply felt too overwhelmed with everything else. There were times I sat down at the computer to begin a post, but my brain refused to co-operate. I simply couldn’t think of where to start- being so preoccupied with everything else that my mind just got stuck.
It took me weeks to realize when I finally went to the Lord and asked Him “What’s wrong with me!?” and He showed me, that I hadn’t been taking care of my own needs. Still grieving the sudden loss of my husband last January, it occurred to me that I had neglected calling my grief counselor, I hadn’t gone to church (because of the pain of the IT band issue)- I hadn’t been getting enough sleep, I hadn’t taken time for the things that I enjoy because I felt I couldn’t afford to take the time, and I had neglected my normal workouts for the same reason (which didn’t help my IT band issue).
Without realizing it I was experiencing a sort of “Brain fog” that happens sometimes in grief. I learned this by emailing my grief counselor who informed me of ways that grief changes your brain. Thank God these changes are reversible.
This Christmas and all the activities surrounding the festivities became a lot easier for me once I realized after praying what was happening to me.
I’ve learned to give the grief and the things it brings with it to the Lord and to take the time I need to heal. He tenderly and beautifully healed and protected my sister who is now doing better than ever before and is doing all she can to protect her health- He also beautifully and tenderly keeps and guides me and I’m grateful for all He’s done. Instead of focusing on who has been lost, This Christmas is about all that has been saved.
Merry Christmas Everyone! Twilight and Sushi will be back tomorrow!