Training Your Human and the other pests in your house
Greetings fellow felines. It’s been a while since I’ve done some lessons on training those moronhumans of ours. That’s because I’ve been so busy training my humans and Sushi that I’ve barely been able to keep up with my busy napping schedule.
As you may know by now, The Can Opener around here has been trying to help Sushi the fat cat to lose weight. I don’t think it’s working. She still is the small mountain in the middle of the rug that they have to walk around. So, being the great trainer that I am, I’ve been busy trying to assist the human in training Lardbutt- How?
Well, when I encounter a mountain in the middle of the living room, I climb it. (Sushi doesn’t like that), and since it makes her mad, she sits up to swat me. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! It makes her sit up and move! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Sometimes that’s the only way to get her to exercise. The Human tries to play with her, but sometimes she will only play for a little bit, and the human is dealing with the small critters all day (most days) too.
Now, when you work so hard to help your human do something, you should be rewarded, right? That’s what treats (and playtime for you) are all about.
If your human is too busy to play, you can trick them into it, by head bunting them, “asking for pets” … when they start to pet you, sit there and purr for a few minutes, then gently wrap your paws around their hand and attack! Not too hard, though- if you do it too hard, they’ll get upset and stop playing. They’re a little bratty that way.
Sometimes you also have to give them some gentle hints. Like dragging your favorite toy to them and sitting there waiting for them to wake up and figure it out. This is what I had to do with my Can Opener this morning….
Now my morning is off to a good start. Playtime accomplished, training Sushi accomplished, and demanded treats given. Now I can go conquer the rest of the world!
The Can Opener wouldn’t let me stay outside tonight because it’s going to be cold- and she wanted to play with me.
We were having fun- kicking my favorite golf ball back and forth, along with some of my other favorite toys that I haven’t played with for a while (because I love to stay out at night).
But then we wanted to play with the feather toy, and Sushi woke up and gave me a dirty look for playing with her toy- and since I didn’t want to get flattened by her sitting on me, I decided to hop up on the counter and then on top of the fridge, and then on top of the kitchen cabinets and stay there until she fell asleep – (she can’t get to me up there).
I have to admit I don’t like that the human has me on a diet, but in spite of my best attempt at pleading eyes, she still insists on keeping me on it. It’s downright depressing. Twilight gets to eat whenever she wants- “but Twilight’s only 8 pounds!”- or so the Human says. It’s still not fair. I mean, look at me. I’m twice her size, (and older) so I say I have seniority here. Obviously if I’m bigger, I need more food. But NO! According to the vet, I need less food, and the human is doing her best to see to it. Dangit.
But, at least one great thing comes with it….
And that is that the Can Opener schedules daily playtime with me now and makes it as much of a priority as her own workouts! She bought me a new toy, and Oh, my CATS I love it! Hey, at least she doesn’t make me do her workouts- holy catnip! Mine are a lot more fun! See for yourself!
Whew! I’m exhausted! I still hate being on a diet, but now I know I’ll get scheduled playtime every day because the human thinks its important for me.
I thought today would be a typical Caturday. Mom sleeps in (way longer than Twilight and I approve of), then she has enough coffee to flood the Nile, waters the lawn and plants, then helps her sister with her garage sale or starts cleaning / baking.
What I didn’t expect was that she would surprise us with new treats, and a new toy!
Oh my FLEAS! THESE TREATS ARE LIFECHANGING!
They are available on Amazon- and check out this ingredient list!
This morning I bolted outside as soon as my Can Opener got up, and after playing by the stream for a couple of hours, I came inside to find Sushi freshly groomed and medicated, snoozing on Mom’s lap. I could tell Mom had been through a battle to give her the eye medicine, and probably could use some stress relief.
I noticed Mom’s coffee cup was empty (unthinkable!), so I sniffed at it to suggest she get up for a refill. Once she had successfully moved the boulder (Sushi) off her lap (as it complained and growled), I ran ahead of her into the kitchen where the blue feather thingie she just bought for Sushi happened to be laying on the couch. (*Hint, Hint)*
She had to wait for her coffee to brew, so she took time to play with me! I’ve missed playing with her so much!
I could tell she’s missed playing with me, too. But things have gotten very crazy around here lately, and it’s been hard for her to have the opportunity. I was so happy, when her coffee was ready, and she kept on playing with me instead of getting back to what she had been doing!
I’m so happy that we finally had some time to play together. The Can Opener enjoyed watching me have fun and I enjoyed hearing her laugh at my friskiness. Just so you know, you humans are all wound up lately and your kitties (and Creatures)- can feel it too. Give yourself a break for a few minutes every day to stop for a bit and just enjoy them. It’s medicine for both of you.
Oh my! I’m so happy I could leave my human a nice fresh present (hairball) just for practice!! All morning while the Can Opener was trying to wake up with her coffee and have her purrayer time, Twilight- that little annoying Albino Flea- kept swatting and nipping at me trying to make me play and she was irritating the holy fleas right off me! I was about to go for it and just knock her from here to Texas.
Purrfect. Now I can FINALLY sleep! Happy Caturday!
Today was another busy day for the Can Opener (they all are)- but when the critters went home, and she finished her workout, we got to play! I was hoping for treats of course, but instead, she found my toy snake and we had a blast! (Still can’t find the missing golf balls, though).
I always ask to play by waiting until I see the Can Opener go to her desk and open her laptop- then I jump up on the chair and start swiping at her before she can sit down! She slowly spins the chair a few times (because I love that)- then we play peek-a-boo! Well, when I saw my pink snake in her hand, I got so excited because it’s one of my favorite things to play with! And when I’m done playing that game, I grab it with my claws and won’t let her have it back! Mol!
At first, I thought it was just because it was so early when the Can Opener got up and let me out. Everything outside was drenched, and it was so cold it made my whiskers stand on end. I was going to go outside and try to catch a mouse or two for the Can Opener’s surprise breakfast in bed, but I knew even the mice would’nt come out to play in this weather, so I went back inside to wait for things to warm up a little.
It was nice and toasty inside, but there was nothing going on that even hinted of fun- the Can Opener was hardly awake enough to know her name yet, as she had only had her first three cups of coffee, and I knew If I didn’t let her get an adequate amount of coffee down before she fed me, Sushi and I could end up with God-knows-what in our food dish.
One day, she was so sleepy, she poured Cheerios in our dish, and Rachel Ray dry cat food in the critter’s bowl. Lucky for the Critter, she realized it before she poured the milk. (Wish Sushi and I had been so lucky).
So, since it was obvious no one was going to play with me, and it was still rainy and cold out, I looked over and saw Sushi asleep on the couch and came up with a genius plan…
Fine. I guess I’ll go look for the cute little yellow stray that stopped by yesterday- at least she won’t be so grumpy!
Yesterday, the Can Opener was playing with me after she got her first cup of coffee, and we were having so much fun… and then this furry bundle of nerves came walking into our kitchen looking for my food and begging for treats!
Lucky for me, she didn’t like what was in my dish, and my Can Opener didn’t give her any treats – so after harrassing my human for a little while longer, she chased me up on top of the refrigerator, and saw Sushi sleeping on the couch and hissed at her for good measure, then growled at my human and stalked out the door!
Trying to con my human into feeding her!
I really didn’t appreciate her growling at Sushi -(that’s my job)- but I was really mad that she growled at my Can Opener! So of course, I had to chase her out of the house and we had a talk about it. The human didn’t get there fast enough to take pictures, but just to give you an idea, it went something like this;