Go someplace else, Smokey! This is OUR HOUSE!I’m Smokey- and they don’t know it yet, but they’re going to adopt me.
I’ve been stealing everyone’s heart
Aren’t I cute? I’m absolutely adorable, and I know it because every neighbor around here tells me all the time. Today I visited Twilight and Sushi’s house -(they have the best food, and the Can Opener doesn’t yell at me and chase me away like some of the other neighbors). A lot of the neighbors around here are trying to help find out where I belong- if I’m lost or something.
But I keep telling them where I belong! Right HERE on Twilight’s throne! The problem is, Twilight and Sushi disagree and the Can Opener listens to them, not me. So I have to convince the Can Opener that I’m cuter than them.
So far I’m not having much luck. And the big one looks like she could eat me- so I’m kind of nervous, but the food is great in the neighborhood- and sooner or later, somebody is going to adopt me!
It finally quit raining ash, and the smoke cleared up, so a couple of days ago the Can Opener finally let me go out again and lay in a sun puddle on the doorstep in the center of her flowers. It felt so good- my own purrsonal heating pad without that annoying cord.
But a few hours after my belly-obsessed Can Opener called me in, I started scratching and pulling at my belly, and she kept trying to get me to stop, but of course, I didn’t, because DUH! I’m a CAT. I do what I want.
She was busy (what else is new)- so it took her a while to actually sit down for a few minutes and look at my belly. When she saw I had pulled some fur out, she had a catniption fit and the next thing I knew, she reached inside the kitty kit -(her evil bag of tricks she keeps all my meds and brushes in)- and out came a bottle, and she picked me up and sprayed my belly 4 times with that vile thing!
Before the spray…..
Today! After 3 sprays twice a day since Saturday.
She had called the vet, who told her to put a cone on me- lucky for me she hasn’t been able to get one yet- but she’s still looking. Meanwhile, she’s been watching me like a paranoid hawk, and on the few occasions I’d start to pull at my fur again, she’d shake the treat bag- and my head (of course), immediately popped up and I forgot what I was doing!! 😹
You know, I hate to admit it, but now I don’t mind that spray- I just sit now and let her spray me. I’m not going to tell her, but it makes the irritation go away instantly!! Don’t tell her I said that, though- I kind of have a good thing going here… If I just pretend to start chewing at myself, out come the treats!! 😻
It’s been busy around here today. AGAIN! And I want my cuddle time!
I’m claiming my play and snuggle time now!
Our human Can Opener is doing well, but has been busy cleaning up a big mess in the kitchen for the last two days. That’s because there was a bad problem under the kitchen sink, and the management is installing a new kitchen sink and new countertops- and the human is delighted about that- but not too crazy about all the dust and sawdust that seems to find its way all over everything no matter how hard the workers (and she) works to keep it at bay.
Today she was coughing constantly (while they were working)- but she’s not sick. So after they left, she declared war on the dust- she has been cleaning ever since they left today. She did the same thing yesterday too. But they’re coming back to “finish up” tomorrow!
I’ve been calling to her to stop and baby me, and let me tell you, if I had a treat for every time she said to me yesterday and today, “Okay Sushi- give me a few more minutes…” I’d be sitting on a mountain of treats higher than Mount Everest!
So I’m taking matters into my own paws now!
Twilight and I had a discussion today- (well, I talked, she slept)… but still- as soon as she wakes up, we’re going to put a stop to all this cleaning, because we want our cuddles and our routine back more than the Can Opener wants her kitchen back, and everything put back where it belongs. Any ideas?
I’m exhausted after my “workout” – I worked so hard watching the Can Opener do hers- now I need a nap!
Note to Can Opener: I don’t do diets!
I know the Can Opener thinks it’s important to exercise and watch your diet. But I do ‘watch’ my diet. I watch it sit there in the bowl until I devour it!
But after that, the bowl is empty, so what the flea and I supposed to be “watching?”
Oh- maybe this is what she means about ‘watching my diet’-
Fine- I’ll leave the pickles (and mustard) off my burgers.
And I don’t get why she is always trying to make me exercise. I do exercise! Do you have any idea the amount of energy it takes to snore? It’s exhausting!
But I do exercise in other ways—when she’s not looking- (because she doesn’t like it when I do this- so I do it in the middle of the night while she’s sleeping- that way she thinks Twilight did it)…
I’ll never tell…
And this counts as exercise…
But she’ll never catch me doing it…I’ve even tried fishing- but the fish fights back!
Honestly, I don’t know what kind of exercise she expects a slender 17.9 pound cat to do! But I have found one exercise I really love to do…
Becoming a speed bump!
Those critters need something to stop them on those noisy scooters! 😹
We’ve been trying for the last several days to get the Can Opener to type for us but that hasn’t worked out very well. There have been a few times she sat down and started a post for us, but then something happened and she didn’t get back to it. And sometimes she tried to get back to it but started hurting in her back and knee and couldn’t concentrate, so our draft folder is full of unfinished ideas we gave her.
We’re changing her schedule (she’s objecting)- because she just can’t seem to keep things on her previous schedule before our Backup Can Opener went to heaven. But we have the same schedule, so that means we have to retrain her! Meanwhile….
I help Mom keep Sushi groomed…
That is until she calls me “Tuna Breath!”
This morning it’s beautiful and sunny and after eating and grooming Sushi for Mom, I went outside to lay in my favorite sun puddle while the Can Opener made her coffee and started her morning routine…
Oh yes- this is my HAPPY PLACE!
Then Sushi decided she wasn’t ready for the Can Opener to do her usual brushing, so instead of settling in on Mom’s lap while she has her coffee, Sushi decided to snuggle into her soft, furry bed instead-
She was all settled in and cozy and then…
In walked “Mr.Smokey”- intent on stealing our Can Opener’s heart (and food)-
He was getting all nice and cozy…
And then he looked up and saw Sushi in her bed and growled and flew out the door and down the street!!! 😹
Maybe the Can Opener should take Sushi off her diet- he looked at her (and her “What are you doing here?” look, and decided it was time to move on! Apparently he isn’t used to being confronted by a cat twice his size! 😹
Oh- I remember you. You’re the cat trying to steal my Can Opener’s heart. Too late. It already belongs to me and Sushi.
Do you ever wonder what or who your cat remembers? Do we forget things?
I can tell you that Sushi and I remember very clearly that the Can Opener left us on Thanksgiving last year because the critters’ parents needed a cat sitter for our cousins Serafina and Abby. I can also remember that we were afraid she might forget us- but she came home just like she had said she would! And I remember how extremely happy we were to see that she didn’t forget us- and we both remember how much she spoiled us when she came back.
And in case you’re wondering, yes, I remember how the new year started for our Can Opener and her family. I remember seeing our Back-up Can Opener sicker than I’d ever seen him before, and suddenly the Can Opener was going to the hospital every day, and then they both came back (in an ambulance). Soon the couch was disposed of, and a hospital bed took its place in the living room. Then strangers – (nurses, chaplains, social workers) were stopping in and calling every day. And someone called “our Pastors” stopped by.
I remember it was Christmas time- and the heavy snowfall that my Can Openers and the Critters longed for finally came- but they weren’t able to enjoy it. The Can Opener was running back and forth all night long (every hour) – to take care of “hubby”- and give him morphine to help the pain. I was on top of the desk watching over him- and Sushi and I knew something had changed.
Then about 10 days after coming home from the hospital, he coughed three times- and never inhaled again.
Sushi and I would’ve cried- but we’re cats and we don’t know how. But we both knew we wouldn’t see him again. And we watched as they took him away, and everything changed.
Yes, we cats have great memories. And I remember it took a long time for our Can Opener to “recover”- if that ever really happens. But most of all we remember that she took extra special care of us after that because she knew that we were affected by it. And it gave her strength to comfort and cuddle us.
We still remember the Back-up Can Opener too. We are just thankful our Mom is still here with us and that she’s smiling again and starting to enjoy life again. Most of all, she never stopped spoiling us rotten.
People ask my Can Opener why she doesn’t get a dog. I’m here to answer that question.
Some cats live with kids AND dogs. Crazy!
I’m surprised at how many cats have the misfortune of living not only with those tiny, loud creatures that turn a house upside down, but also with dogs. I agree with Twilight that there’s just something messed up about that. As she would say, what self-respecting cat would allow it?
Just in case you’re wondering why it’s such a big deal, let me first point out the obvious – we’re cats. We cats are calm, chill, (smart), love to sleep, and love to play. Dogs are loud, boistrous, noisy, and barky, and jumpy, and neurotic, and eat our food, and tear up our beds and toys, bark and wake us up, dump fleas on us, and steal all our attention from our Can Openers. What cat is going to be okay with that?
But in case that’s not enough to clear things up, let me express it another way.
They plot against us and spoil our hunting and fishing plans.They eat money- which takes away from the cat food fund.
They pick on us until we get mad and let them have it, then they whine and cry and get us in trouble.
They’re idiots. They should be hoping for cat food.
No, I’m not coming out of my box. Twilight broke it. It’s MINE!
Twilight needs a diet, Mom.
Mom, why is it I’m on a diet, but not Twilight? Look what she did to my box! She slept in it and flattened the whole side of it! And left her fur all over my favorite green blankie.
Now when I want to go hide under my bed, I have half a box left! Now I’m going to go flatten her box, and leave my fur on her favorite blankie- but you need to order me a new box, okay? And how about washing my blankie, so I don’t get her fur all over me…I don’t want Smokey making fun of me about this- It’ll ruin my reputation.
And hurry up, with that new box order, okay? She’ll come flying in any minute now and try to take it over again unless you distract her with treats. By the way- where are those treats? I want to get my share before the little flea sucks them all up on her way to my box.
Hurry up, okay?
MOL! 😹I’m not big enough to flatten your box, Sushi! You did it!! And, I already ate all the treats!
A couple of mornings ago, The Can Opener sat down in the living room rug to play with Twilight – (Twilight loves to hide under big pieces of paper and attack the toys the human teases her with)- and when she was done playing, she went outside while the Can Opener made a fresh cup of coffee, then sat down and put me on her lap to brush me.
It was heavenly. I was purring as she brushed me, talked to me and rubbed my ears – then I smelled something that alerted me (and the human) that something wasn’t right- we both looked up and there was THAT!
A strange cat had just cruised right in the backdoor and helped himself to Twilight’s paper roll and started making himself right at home!
Hey- word on the street is, You’ve got great cat food here. How about a sample? And thanks for the toys!
I think I scared Mom when I reacted to him, because I made my hot displeasure known- not only because an intruder had invaded my castle, but because on account of that THING, Mom picked me up and moved me off her lap to go deal with him! NOT FAIR.
He looked at me as if to say, “deal with it, sweetheart- I’m not going anywhere.”
Mom went to him to chase him out of the house, and noticed he didn’t have a collar on- and he came right to her immediately, plopped down at her feet and rolled over, wanting to be petted. She realized then, that this was clearly not a feral cat- they will always run away and definitely don’t want to be handled by a stranger.
He also is very healthy- but, she noticed a wound under his “armpit”- a small wound, but it was definitely open. As if someone (or something) had sliced him – (about a 1/2 inch long). He also was covered with burs (meaning he most likely had been hanging out on the bikepath / stream behind our house). He was starving – and it was really hot outside (100 degrees). He seemed relieved to find a cool spot and a dish of cool water.
She said she knows the neighbors and their pets around here – but he doesn’t belong to any of them – but a lot of people have moved out (or been evicted)- recently – and since he doesn’t behave like a feral cat, and is begging for love (as well as food) everytime he comes around, she says she thinks someone moved out and left him behind.
So being that she saw a wound on him and that he was covered with burs all over the place, she put a blanket in the carpet and got the kitty kit out, and decided to try and clean his wound and remove the burs and see if she could help him. Thanks a lot, Mom. Wait til I tell Twilight!
He actually seemed to welcome the attention-Burrs removed, (with only growling, no resistance)- Neosporin applied, burshed, ears and eyes cleaned, and even allowed Advantage to be applied!ShA
After all she did to take care of him she started looking to find an owner- no one seems to know anything about him. But he won’t stay away. When she put him outside after tending to his needs, he growled- and turned around before she could shut the door and came back in! He refuses to leave!
And (of course) the Critters (and everyone else) love him.
So the Can Opener is planning to take him to the vet as soon as she can to get him checked and see if he has a chip so If he’s lost, he can be returned to his owners. And if not, she wants to get him fixed – (but he doesn’t look broken to us). Our fear is that after all that, she may find out he’s not chipped and keep him! But, the Critters’ parents just may adopt him- because he’s “SOOOOOO CUTE AND LOVEABLE!- AND, He’s a Russian Blue!”
Oh yay.
Until then, it looks like we’re stuck with “Mr. Smokey!” *tail flap*
The Can Opener left me all alone to go to work. She’s going to hear about it when she gets home!
The Can Opener cut my grooming short
She said she had to go to work- I know she won’t be gone too long, but the problem is that she’s leaving at all! I don’t like it. She finally finished all her classes yesterday (which is why I couldn’t get her to type for me)- but today she still has too many distractions (like work, baking, important calls and appointments to make, and getting ready for the Critters to come tomorrow for the day). The usual unimportant stuff.
In other words, everything but poor, abandoned, adorable me. I’m going to pout now- but boy, is she going to get an earful when she gets home today! I’m going to realign her priorities whether she likes it or not!
How to Train your Humans 