The Sushi Diet Chronicles | How to Train your Humans

*I’m done with being on a diet and I’m striking back.*

I’m ready to fight for my favorite “fat” foods-

The Can Opener switched me to a more expensive cat food that will help me lose weight. I have to tell you -(but don’t tell her, because she can’t know I LOVE THE STUFF)- I thought I was going to die when the order came in and she unsealed the box—- and I smelled the aroma of venison from the pretty green bag inside- all of a sudden I HAD to have some of the stuff immediately! I ran to the bag as soon as she pulled it out and started meowing LOUDLY to her to hurry up and open it!

Oh. My. Fleas! It is SO GOOOOOOOOOOOD!

BUT- I was all excited until I heard her say it has 1/2 the carbs of the other food, and it will help me lose weight! Now, no matter how much she paid for that heavenly stuff, I HAVE to act like I hate it!! So- I try to play it cool when she pours it in my dish- then the very second she leaves the room, I pounce on it!

And I know of other kitties like me who are also fed up with diets—- and they are ready to take back their favorite ‘fat’ foods too!

We’re on the prowl for Cheetos- popcorn, peanut butter, butter, potato chips, goldfish crackers, and PIZZA!

Keep trying, humans- but one way or another, we’ll get what we want! 😹

It’s all about me, human. Move it.

And please quit telling me I need to lose weight. I know what the vet said- but look at me – I’m not even 20 pounds yet! You and I both know that I exercise regularly- It’s hard exercise walking from the bedroom to the kitchen every morning, and it’s even harder to jump up on the couch for my grooming. And anyway, I’m sure I lost almost a whole pound just trying to get away from you and your nail clippers!