Wiped Out!

What a long night!

I spent the night trying my best to teach Sushi how to hunt mice- but all she wanted to do was watch while I did all the work!

I chased so many mice and carefully tried to send them scurrying in her direction, but did she get one? NO.

She barely twitched a whisker in their direction, content to just watch curiously as they scurried out of reach laughing hysterically at her.

How embarrassing! The mice looked over their furry little shoulders at me as if to say, “You call yourselves CATS?!”

So much for my reputation as a master Mouser!

When I finally gave up on giving her hunting lessons, I tried to get her to play hide and seek- but all she did was hide- (from me).

And when I went to seek her out, all I found was her claws swatting at me accompanied by a warning hiss and a swishing tail. Geez 🙄

Now it’s morning, and the Can Opener will be getting up and getting ready for the little critter to come spend the day, and she will be too busy with the pint sized tornado to play with me.

So, I’m going to do some hiding of my own now on my cozy blankie, and take a nice long nap.


The Mouse that got away

I outsmarted the fat cat!!
I’m so ashamed! I can’t believe he got away!
Well, of course he got away! You didn’t chase him!

She just can’t understand it….

That’s how it went for at least an hour this morning. Sushi whining because she didn’t catch the mouse that was poking around, and me (Twilight)- trying to explain to her that in order to catch something, you have to CHASE IT FIRST!

WHAT? Why in the world would I want to do THAT?

Unfortunately, in Sushi’s mind, chasing mice is ‘disgusting’- and she couldn’t imagine for her life why she should’ve chased it.

“What do you think I am, Twilight? Some sort of ANIMAL? I just wanted to invite it to dinner- I asked it nicely, and it just ran away from me. YOU’RE the one who does the disgusting ‘chasing mice’ thing!”

How do I say this gently?

So I said, “Well, Sushi- IT’S A CAT THING. And guess what? YOU’RE A CAT!”

She just sat there for a few seconds thinking -(which is hard work for her)- then said,

“OH. That explains the tail.”

I give up. This girl just doesn’t know how to cat.


Morning Grooming Turns Wild

Our Caturday started late thanks to that Can Opener of ours staying up until 2:00 this morning determined to finish a birthday present she was making for the oldest Critter who turned 12 today.

I wasn’t happy that instead of getting up at 4 am like a good little Can Opener, the little bratty human decided to sleep in til 7:30 and only woke up because Sushi and I teamed up to drag “Her Laziness” out of bed to feed us.

I raced across her in the bed 3 different times at high speed, and when she still slept, I bombed the bedroom blinds and smacked them repeatedly with my tail.


Grooming me sweetly- but then,…

Our Morning Grooming

So as usual, Sushi and I race ahead of the Can Opener in the morning, helping her find her way to the kitchen to make sure she doesn’t forget where to find our food waiting to be released from the prison of the can. God knows without coffee, she hardly knows her name so she needs all the help she can get.

On the way to the kitchen, I stopped to thank Sushi and to congratulate her for her talent on getting this moron out of bed and we started grooming each other. Then all of a sudden, Sushi got wild and started smacking me! Of course, her tummy growled, but good God! She doesn’t have to be a flipping LION about it!

Geez. I think Ms. Grumpypants needs some coffee!

Friday Furball Commentary

It’s finally Friday, and most of the humans I know are all wound up because of work, politics, and the Covid 19 drama.

Cats don’t know anything about politics, but I think humans could learn a lot from their cats if they were only paying attention. I don’t mean to minimize the stress these poor two-legged creatures endure on a daily basis- these are trying times for humans and animals alike.

But from a cat’s point of view, I think right now the world needs things that bring people together again. Not things that divide, destroy, and add to everyone’s misery and anxiety.

In the middle of lawlessness, corruption, natural disasters, a worldwide pandemic, and empty store shelves, what makes anyone think that anything will ever get better if they keep blame-shifting and attacking each other?

The holidays are coming – and it’s time to stop the bickering, fighting, plotting, scheming and begin to reach out to heal and help each other. The corrupt will get more corrupt- and in spite of it, those who actually care for others need to show it.

Please look for a way to lift up someone who’s hurting- and give someone hope, show those around you that there is still love, kindness, and compassion in this world. Don’t be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.

cat at the Keurig
Strong, 10 ounces. STAT!
I’m with her…

A NEW BOX!

Oh my gosh! My “Rearrange Everything” tactic worked better than I’d hoped!

I think I’ll keep the Can Opener.

My tactics are very effective.

After all, I took this human Can Opener from being completely clueless – (trust me)- to an expert in one lesson! After I finished typing my little paws off yesterday in the first lesson about Playtime being a ‘fundamental cat right’, I went outside to stir up some trouble, I mean, hunt mice, and when I came inside there was a brand new BOX waiting for me! And, it wasn’t just a big, empty box-

It was a brand new bag of my favorite Rachel Ray cat food!

Okay, Human. Past transgressions are (temporarily) forgiven. Just don’t let them happen again. That was the best part of my day- until the human started bringing out the ping-pong balls, and toy mice and the measuring tape and started playing with me. The kicker was, I didn’t do anything (this time) to make her!

She even played ball with me!

Then I messed up my fur and had to take a bath.

I still wanted to play after my bath- but it was naptime!

How to Train Your Humans

Cream colored siamese cat with lynx points laying and blue eyes on a bed
Service is so slow around here…

Lesson One: Playtime is a cat’s fundamental right

Do your humans manage to stay so “busy” that they never play with you? Do they force you to have to entertain yourself by attacking fake plants while they zone out in front of the tv for hours? Do they ignore you while you meow as pathetically as possible asking them to play with you? How should a self respecting cat respond? In this post, I’ll share some powerful tricks that will help you show those humans who’s really the boss!

Strategies of Purrsuasion

One of the most important things to remember, is that Humans really do think they’re the boss. This is partly because they pay for your house, your cozy blankies, your food, treats, toys, and vet care. This makes them feel better about not finding time to put their phones down, or turn off the tv, or put down their books long enough to entertain, cuddle, and spoil the most important creature in the house (the cat).

That’s why every now and then, you have to remind them that they didn’t choose you, you chose them (and you own them).

The first strategy of course, is to ask politely. If your human is a sensitive cat slave already, this will get his attention and awaken his desire to see you happily sprinting around the house, knocking things over and making messes that he or she will be delighted to clean up.

But sometimes humans can be downright DENSE. That’s when drastic measures are needed. One of my favorite ways to deal with this when I want playtime with my humans is what I call, Rearrange Everything.

Rearrange Everything simply means that in whatever room you happen to be in with your human, after having asked politely to play and finding they aren’t paying attention to you, You start working to get their attention in a less subtle way.

Examples:

If your human is in the kitchen when you’ve communicated you want to play, and you aren’t getting the desired response, jump on the kitchen counter and proceed from there into the kitchen window, where you may find all sorts of trinkets likely placed there for safe keeping as decoration. A smart cat, can simply “rearrange” them by nudging them with your nose, or your paw until they “accidentally” fall into the kitchen sink.

Here’s a demonstration of my employing this technique in the bathroom:

Find something on the counter (or wherever you can) to rearrange into the floor…

Select carefully for maximum response…

First, aim for the drain when possible…

The floor always works too- especially for breakables! Then, look shocked and RUN!

Most of the time that will alert them that you won’t be easily distracted. If that doesn’t get the intended result, carefully wind yourself around your humans’ feet repeatedly while they are busy in the kitchen, being sure to meow forcefully and relentlessly. This is especially effective in the middle of the morning breakfast rush, and particularly if there are kids in the house that they are trying to feed.

At this point, your human will likely do one of these three things – (either way, you win). Depending on whether or not the human is busy trying to get kids fed in a hurry, or whether they’re trying to “work from home” or cleaning, they will not be able to ignore you. They will either feed you to shut you up- (not play, but still a win)- or, they will open the door and put you outside (which is still a win), or, they will grab the first thing they can find and throw it into the other room in an attempt to get you to run into the other room. Then you’ve succeeded, because once they’ve thrown something to distract you, you of course, will bring it back and guess what? They’ll be playing with you!

yhggggggggggtr56xzsssssssssssssfffffffffgv (my legal signature)

Stay tuned for more lessons on How to train your humans.

Desk Drawer Buddy

We needed another flood. Strong winds were a nice touch.

Well, Thank you Mr. Weatherman.

I had awesome plans for today- But there was so much rain I expected to see Noah’s Ark come drifting down the street. So much for my exciting plans of mouse hunting, terrorizing the birds, and chasing Sheba all over the neighborhood. Pretty soon the rain got harder and became a constant downpour and the winds stirred up so I got to watch the pretty gold and red leaves swirling through the air like snow in a blizzard… Only I couldn’t catch them from inside the living room.

Sushi didn’t mind the rain at all- she decided to keep the Can Opener company as she did her online shopping, and she had a nice set-up…

She just decided to watch tv!

Well, this looks like a great time for a nap.


Meow Monday

I’m going to just be a CAT today-

It’s been a rough day. Normally at this time of night, I love to hunt mice, antagonize Sushi, and just generally get into mischief.

But tonight I’m just going to BE A CAT! (Lazy)…

Wait- I am a cat! Dude, I’m better than I thought!

No, seriously!

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Just in case COVID is driving you crazy too.
Cats are the real experts.

No more rain, Please Mr. Weatherman!

Caturday at last!

The best part of waking up ISN’T Folgers in my cup-

Finally a little sunshine after days of freezing cold RAIN!

As soon as Sushi detects life in the kitchen, she’ll finally get up off my front paws so I can move, (assuming I can still walk)- and then I’m heading outside to find some mice!

It’s been a while since I’ve treated the Can Opener to breakfast in bed!

She had a rough day yesterday, with the little tiny critter having her heart set on a tea party and then being able to paint with the Can Opener…

But after the washing machine poured water all over the kitchen floor, that ruined their plans, and after that there was no satisfying the little rascal since the Can Opener had Lake Eerie pay an unexpected visit in her kitchen and had to spend the next couple of hours undoing the damage while trying to keep the critter from jumping in the BIG PUDDLE! Mol! 😹


Uh oh … here comes the critter!!

I had decided to play it cool and stay out of the lake in the kitchen so I went to the nice leather desk chair to stay dry until somebody decided the world wasn’t really ending- but then the tiny critter remembered the chair SPINS!! 🙀

Time to go- breakfast Can wait!!